- Typical stressfull, busy morning at school on Friday. End of school is coming quickly and trying to get everything done so that I could take off 1/2 day and get out of town.
- Mid-morning I receive a nasty, poison e-mail that my husband has sent to me, his two sisters and their husbands. He's mad at everyone (including me) and says that no one but him has supported our son (including me) and that he is through with the whole bunch (including me). He will not be seeing anyone this weekend or any other.
- I come home, ready to talk him off the ledge again, and find him mowing the lawn. Some physical activity is good to get agression out....or so I think.
- He comes in; takes a shower; and tells me that he is going to see our son and that I am not welcome to come.
- Then he drops the bomb that the marriage is over. We have a buyer for the house so let's sell, divide the funds and get a divorce. With that he throws clothes in a suitcase, takes the ATM card and flies out. What do you do with that?
- So I'm left here with my son who thinks he leaving school early to go on a little family trip and once again try to explain his father's actions that there is no good explanation for. He's twelve. He doesn't need to deal with this emotional roller coaster. He has enough to deal with in the move/no move game. He's a smart, sweet boy and for all of the covering up, he just came in and said "is Dad mad again?" He ended up spending Friday night and a lot of Saturday with a friend; his own escape. He was very sweet and concerned about me. Wanted to know if I was okay.
- Hub did finally say he was sorry and wrote an apologetic e-mail to his sisters and brother-in-laws. May be too little, too late.
Hub, if you are still reading my things, please stop. Sometimes this is all I have. I need something that's just mine. I'm not okay. You really hurt me. Life is hard for all of us. Not just you. I'm tired of picking up the pieces when you go off half-cocked to get it out of your system. You talk about how much healthier it is than suppressing like I sometimes do. Throwing up on the ones you love is not cool. Watching you explode would make anyone want to keep things in. This time you didn't just do it to us. You did it to the rest of your family. You may never get that back either. Our lives really kind of suck right now. No blame, just a fact. I'm going through it, but not with a crazy man.
Later.
4 comments:
Oh.
My.
God.
If you need someone to talk to, you've got my number. Big hugs to you, lady.
I understand Hub's burden: he feels the responsibility of providing for his family, and in spite of all his hard work, it may be taken from him. He is under huge pressure.
That said, it is NO excuse for his behavior. He needs a healthy outlet for his frustration and fear. If it isn't you, then it needs to be someone else. If he isn't ready to talk to your pastor or a counselor, then you should go for your own peace of mind.
I've been as close to divorce as I ever want to be—and it was my idea. I understand that when men want to quit, it is 99% fixable; when women want to quit, it is 99% broken, because women truly do try everything before giving up.
Don't give up yet. But you are absolutely right to give the problem back to him to solve. Hold your ground for dealing with your own issues and having him take responsibility for his. Your life is in incredible turmoil. This is no time for important decisions of any kind. Hold on for dear life until your emotions don't rule the day.
I'm praying for all of you, sweetheart.
I'm so sorry! Hugs and prayers from me to you!!!!
OH, I must have missed this. So sorry. They say moving is right up there with a death in the family when it comes to stress. Now I'll go read the next post to see how things turned out.
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