Not so deep thoughts on Christmas.

With all of the thoughts of the day, my weird mind started wandering back some 2,040 plus years.  STOP IT!   No, I wasn't in high school at the time. :)  I started thinking about Mary & Joseph and being in their family.  Can you imagine your child being the Son of God?  Or growing up with him as your brother?

I imagine Mary & Joseph talking about the baby as all expectant parents do.  You say what you are going to do with your child and what you are not going to do, and then you end up eating your words.  Don't you know that they worried, "What if we have to discipline him? Will thunder and lightening come down?"  We know that they weren't wealthy people so how did they explain the sudden gold, frankincense and myrrh?  Can't you see Joseph trying to explain that they were a baby shower gift.  (Do you think the synagogue ladies came together for a baby shower for an unmarried woman?)  He would have been locked up if he said that three kings gave it to them.   Also, you know all of the guys around town were nudging each other and he-he-ing about that his girlfriend just had a baby.  No acceptance of other lifestyles then and there.  Joseph probably defended Mary until he was blue in the face.

After there were other children, you know there would have to be those times that when Mary was calling out "I never had that problem with your brother";  "Why can't you be like your brother?"  Then there would be the whining "You always liked Jesus best."  "Why can't I be the Son of God?"  "Maybe I am.  Better be good to me."   Jesus would so be stuffed in a middle school locker if he was walking on earth today as a boy.  If not by his brothers, the other kids would after seeing him hanging out with the wise guys as the synagogue.

Oh, well.  For what its worth, that was just going through my mind.  We are having a small Christmas with just the three of us.  #2 wanted to come home, and we actually bought him an airline ticket, but then he started writing on Facebook what he had been doing.  Stupid and stupider.  Illegal, immoral, stupid.  Anyway, we had 24 hours to cancel the reservation and we did.  His dad and I both ragged on him.  He is with his birthmother.  I'm happy for her as she has never had him for Christmas.  Yet I know he will probably hook it out of there afterwards.  She might as well share that part, too.

I know it is a lot calmer and less complicated with him not here, yet.....I miss him.  I really got emotional while packing him up a box.  Then he called today and the box STILL had not been delivered.  It was suppose to have been there yesterday.  (I just checked online and it showed it came today at 4:30.)   Well, it was tough when he was in prison and now it's tough now.  Guess I need to go back to his Facebook so that I can get all mad again.  It easier that way.

I hope that you and yours have a most special Christmas.  May all your dreams come true and Santa not find out about your naughty times.  Merry Christmas!

Later.

You're not going to believe this one.

Our weekend events would make the plot of a good movie.  Oh, wait a minute.  I think it may have already been made.  Ever see "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"?  Yep, that would be it.  We went to Indianapolis this weekend for a family birthday party.  Left Monday morning and then started back after breakfast on Sunday.  Our time there was fabulous fun.  The trip.....not so much.  I will try to give you the Reader's Digest version.

• Hub and I have had a really rocky week to start out with.  The long-term stress of #1 is really taking a toll on us and our marriage.  While #2 had earphones plugged in his ears in the backseat, up front we talked, argued, cried (that would be me) and of course, there were the silent times.  All of that makes the trip seem to take an eternity.  We got to the hotel about 8:30 (9:30 their time) and just settled in, watched some TV and fell to sleep early.
• I had planned to visit our mutual friend, Birdie, while I was there.  In typical fashion, I had the time of the party confused.  I thought it was an evening party and it was actually at 2:00 in the afternoon.  We lounged around in the morning; found out about the time error and then did not have time to visit her before the party and she had plans for the evening.  :(   We did have a nice visit on the phone, but I was disappointed.  Hopefully, we will be back in the summer and I will do some better planning.
• Skip to Sunday.  We had breakfast with a cousin and his family.  Love, love, love them.  Get in the car and start out.  We were making pretty good time and all of us seemed to be on the obsession to get home quickly.  Hub was still short tempered and not a happy camper.  We stopped for a gas and potty break at a small town in Illinois.  #2 and I ran inside to the restrooms while Hub walked the dog and pumped gas.  Evidently, these were old fashioned pumps and you had to take your credit card inside to pay.  Hub told us to watch the pump and he ran in and tossed them his credit card on his own way to the restroom.  He came out saying "no more pit stops" (yeah, right) and off we went.
• We get down the highway a little ways and all of a sudden, Hub says "Oh, no" and then we hear a siren.  We pull over and a trooper gives him a speeding ticket for $140.  The speed limit in Illinois is 65.  (Illinois is the only state that the limit isn't 70.)  Hubs argues with him that it is too slow and that he won't be coming back to Illinois.  Rather silly argument as he was clocked going 86 mph. Not much of an argument.  This puts him in an even better mood. (Not.)  Oh, and the trooper had a yellow stuffed monkey sitting on his dashboard.  How weird is that?
• Two hours more down the road, through Missouri and entering Arkansas, yep.......I needed to go.  We stopped at a little town and decided to also pick up some fast food.  It was about 3:30.  We all chose to do a quick drive through of Sonic.  Got to the Sonic and it had burned down.  Went back up to Wendy's and placed an order at the drive up window.  Hub reached to get our credit card and didn't see it.  He got out of the car and pulled everything out of his wallet and it was not there.  He is so not in the mood for this.  He grabbed his jacket to check the pockets and then slung it into the back of the SUV.   He gave them another card....and it was expired.  I gave him my debit card, he pays and pulls the car over to the side. 
• We start looking around for the card.  THEN, we realized his wallet is now missing.  He had just had it and we all saw it.  That pushed him totally over the edge.  We all are looking frantically around beside the seats, etc.  Then he tells us all to get out and he proceeds to throw everything out of the car on the ground.  Yes, everything.  Luggage, dirty clothes, computer bags, snack bags, pillows, etc.  By this time, the clerks at Wendy's are all leaning out the window watching; there is a car that was behind us that just stops to watch, cars are slowing down.  He is having a complete meltdown as #2 and I step back and watch in horror.  I go back and look in the drive through and he does, too.  I went in and spoke to the clerk.  Nothing. 
• Hub finally remembers about the gas station and that he never picked his card back up after filling up with gas.  The wallet...don't have a clue.  Still a mystery.  All we can do at this time is drive back up two hours and pray that we remember the station and that they are still opened.  We don't even have a receipt to look the name or city.  We are going back over every action trying to make some sense.  #2 tells us that the car behind us in line went around the building slowly and 3  times while we were there.  Hub is driving like a mad man (which he was) and #2 and I are all over the Internet and GPS trying to remember where the gas station was.  We made all kinds of calls, but didn't reach where we narrowed our search down to which was, of course...Illinois.  I bought a cappachino there and I remember it being in my hand when we were pulled over.
• While we are driving back, we receive a call on my cell phone from the police station in Arkansas.  Hub's wallet was found at Wendy's.  Seems like everything is there.  Hub explains that we are driving back for a credit card and will be back in about 3-1/2 hours.  The wallet is still a mystery, as we both had gone back to look and it was not there.  We really think that the car behind us must have picked it up while Hub was causing all the commotion.  He probably saw what was going on and felt guilty.  I'm sure that we looked like we had enough issues at the time.
• We happily found the service station in Illinois and it was still opened.  The same girl was still there and glad to see us.  We got the card (I put it in my purse this time).  Hub is outside trying to talk ANOTHER officer out of our ticket.  Oy vey.  (And remember that Hub is driving without a license.)   We needed gas again, but Hub refused to buy it in Illinois. 
• Also, I forgot to mention that Hub had left his company card in a restaurant while in southern Louisiana last week.  He went back twice and they said that they didn't have it.  After he cancelled it, they found it.  See a pattern?
• We drove back to the Arkansas police station and got there about 9:30 and signed papers to get back his wallet.  All they had is that it was found in the drive through.  I was curious about how they got my cell phone number.  They had called the police department where we live and had someone come out to our house.  Must have found a neighbor.
• We got gas, more food as no one was in the mood to eat the Wendy's food 4 hours ago, and drove home.  We got home about 11;30.  ONLY about 6 hours later than the GPS originally set out ETA.

So.....back to "Trains, Planes and Automobiles"......get my drift?  So how was your weekend?

Later.

Thanks, Oprah!

Two posts in two days!  Haven't done that in awhile. 

I actually want to use this as kind of a "note to self" because I want to remember what I just heard.  I saw a bit of a show one Sunday morning and set it to record.  I just now turned it on today.  I already know that I need to watch it again to digest it all.  The show is called "Super Soul Sunday" and it is hosted by who else but Oprah Winfrey.  That woman is STILL teaching me lessons.  Thanks, Oprah!

This show has been filled with so many nuggets of wisdom that I want to remember and use to make decisions, comfort myself, live by, etc.

•  The first thing that reached out and grabbed me was that you can't "un-happen" things.  I think that somewhere deep down inside myself that I look for the troubles that we deal with to somehow "un-happen".  Maybe if I wait to deal with this, then I will find out that I don't need to.  It will "un-happen".  FAIL.  Not going to happen.  It's still here and still needs to be handled in some way.  Give up the hope that the past will be different.   Don't live in the space of "if only that hadn't happened."
• There was the analogy used of a picture of what you thought that your life would be hanging on the wall.  It falls down and breaks in a million pieces.  You sit there and look at it and know that it will never put itself back together.  But you can put the picture back together.  It will be a different picture but it can be a good picture.  You just have to put it together yourself. 
• Look for the message in every problem.  Don't fight the problem.  Every problem teaches a message.
• Pay attention to "life".   It's speaking to you all the time.
• Create what you want instead of be stuck on what you don't have.
• "You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people.  But until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will ooze through and stain your life.  You must find the strength to open the wound, stick your hand inside, pull out the core of the pain, the memory, and make peace with it?  Make peace with the past."
• When you hold onto the pain, it goes from being baggage to being monogrammed luggage.
• Under the anger is the hurt; and under the hurt is the love.
• Your life is like a rosebud.  We have to "break open" in order to blossom to the beautiful flower that we are intended to be. 
• It is not that we are unhappy because of what we are not getting.  We are unhappy because of what we are not giving.
• When we are in intense pain, we must go forward well.  We are the only models that our children have as to how to deal with pain.  We are their teachers.
• When you look at life through the lens of gratitude, you don't see as many obstacles or hindrances.  You see potential and possibilities.   Then you are an open vehicle for spirituality

Later.

Thanksgiving......family, food, fun, and foolishness.  How much more can one day take?   We had our usual gathering with family.  It was a smaller group this year, but that was good, too.  This time it was just family members so I got to visit more with personally with people I love.   It's all good.  The food...amazing as always.  My sister is the best cook that I know of.  We all brought our contributions to the feast, but she just has that way to put it all together.  YUM!  Fun....there is always family football, crafts and games.  The day goes very fast.  Lots of smiles.   Lots of teasing.  Lots of hugs, kisses and "I love you".  Just what it is suppose to be. 

So then why did I come home sad?  Oh, yes.  There's the foolishness.  That would be added to the mix by my darling boy, #1.  As you know he has himself in a deep well of trouble.  One that no one could escape unscathed.  He has large debts to pay.  Some with money; some to society.  Actually, I think he finally realizes it.   A little too late.  When he and a friend were on foot in the middle of a heavy storm, they sought shelter under the roof of an abandoned house.  They were ticketed with trespassing which broke the agreement of his parole.  There is a warrant out for him.  He told us he was going to run.  We exhausted every chance to talk him out of it.  While we were at a restaurant in Texas, he called a friend to pick him up and disappeared with him.  This can't end well.  They may not want him bad enough to spend a lot of time looking for him, but we all know, that one day he will mess up.  Then the punishment will be more.  I can't blame him for not wanting to go back to prison.  He is so scarred from that nightmare.  I'm also afraid that he won't make it out of this alive.  That is really hard to say/write.  He is depressed about his situation; the girlfriend; the future.  How do you parent this child?   Where is the sage advice that I'm suppose to have?  I've got nothing.   I'm so mad at him and my heart is hurting for him at the same time.  I have no answers.  Only prayers.

Later.

Thank You

If this blog was a person, she would be model thin by now from lack of food.  I haven't been very consistent in feeding it lately.   I mostly use this to "talk to myself" and as a sounding board for the expert therapy that my "bloggy buddies" offer.  For both of those reasons, this has become very valuable to me.  I have made some sweet friends.  I have learned and grown from each of you.  I've learned about crafts and hobbies that look amazing and I want to try, will never try, could not possibly do or don't have a clue about.  I have learned family dynamics from other perspectives.  I've learned more about my own family dynamics through other eyes. 

Some of my biggest laughs have come from right here.  Some people just tell a story so well and I love to listen/read.  I've learned invaluable life lessons.  My eyes have been opened to different viewpoints and ways to live life.  You've cried with me through family losses and trials and I have cried with you for the same.  I've seen you grow as human beings and hopefully, you have seen me grow a little, too.

So, we are entering in to the Thanksgiving season.  Everyone is putting on their thankful.  I want to put mine out and tell you that I am thankful for you.  You are my own private, special friends.  You fill a special place in my heart and life.  You've offered me your hearts, you ears, your tears your guidance and your encouragement.  You've been an anchor and you've been my wings.  Thank you.

Later.

Another Life Lesson

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...."   WAIT!   There is sunshine!  Actually, the sun is shining really brightly and we can see it.   YEA!!!

Yep!  She's gone.   We took her to the bus station yesterday!  Whew!  Hub and I then went out for a celebratory breakfast.  I do feel just a little ashamed that I am so happy she has left, but it was just time.  She's not a bad girl, but this "failure to launch" problem needs to be handled by her family; not ours.  She has really set us back financially, not to mention the stress and fights that she has caused.   No more spending two hours of my day, much gas, and even more frustration every day getting her to and from a job.  #2 has been totally disgusted with us that she was living in our home.  She even gave us $200.  Let's see, $200 for supporting her for close to a year.   We should all find a deal like that.  Let me wipe the word sucker off of my forehead.

So...it is just the three of us in our home......until next Wednesday when a dear friend and her daughter are coming to visit for a few days.   Then the next day, #1 gets out of jail.  He will be here for a bit.  He has other legal issues to deal with.  Sigh......

We've had an "interesting" week in the financial world.  On Tuesday night, Hub received a call on his cell phone from the State Police.  They said, "Mr. ________, are you missing a check book?"  That's a question that will start your heart.  Since I'm the family banker, this immediately went to me.  I didn't understand as I keep a pretty good eye online of our accounts.  Well, to make a long story short, wrong Mr. _______.   But wait; it was our son.  When he moved out from the girl, he took his things and moved into a house with some other misfits for a while.  (Misfits is the nicest word that I can come up with.  Coke whore first came to mind.)  Anyway, he was just there for a few days and came to his senses.  Went back though and everything he had there was gone.  We're talking furniture, clothes, obviously checks, car keys, and even a car door that had been bought to work on his car.  Very expensive lesson.  Anyway, Hub told the police to lock up the people and throw away the key.  The account had been closed long ago, so there were no repercussions there.

The next day, I checked our account on-line.  I noted three charges from our debit card for purchases at a computer company .com amounting to about $400.   Whoa!   I called the company and they said that the orders were started in CA and were shipped to NH and PA.  The items had already shipped so there was no stopping the order.   They gave me the account number and marked the account as fraud.  Not much help to me.  Called the bank and they red carded my debit card so that it any other charges would be tagged.  Still doesn't help me get back my $400.  Went to the bank to start the process to "contest" the charges.  The manager had to cut up my debit card.  That hurt to watch.  Especially since my new one hasn't come in yet.  Then I had to go to the Police Station to file a report.  The detective takes one look at my statement and cheerfully says "Oh, I ordered a computer from them."   Congratulations.  Did you use my card?  He also let me know that probably not much would happen except show the bank that I am serious about getting my money back.  Not what I wanted to hear, but I appreciate his honesty.

So what have we learned from this experience?

1. Officer said that to use credit card versus debit card for online purchases.  It is easier to get a credit issued than try to get money back.
2. If you are trying to make a purchase online and there is an issue and it sends you back to the start to re-enter everything, stop right there.  You can be being sent to a hacker's site and never even know it.    (I actually had this happen 2-3 weeks ago, so I think this is when they got the numbers.)
3. Don't let anyone else use a debit card with your name on it.  The bank manager said that Visa may give us trouble because my husband had my card in his wallet for 2-3 days.  I'm the only one that carries our debit card.  We went out to eat the Sunday before and I didn't want to carry my purse.  I gave it to him and he put it in his wallet.  The restaurant even had him sign the ticket as sometimes happens when they run it through as a credit instead of a debit.  Proof positive that he had it for Visa.  Doesn't even matter that we are married and the card is on a joint account.  Isn't that nuts?
4. I hate mean, dishonest people.

Got to go finish cleaning the guest room and guest bathroom.

Later.

Call the "whambulance"!

Please pardon me while I whine "a little".   Could turn into a full blown rant, so hang on.  Let me get the bullets going.  (Not real bullets, silly.  Not yet anyway.)

• I have automatic notices set up if our bank accounts get below a certain level.  Got one of those e-mails on Wednesday.  Pulled up my account and there were three charges to a company called NewEgg.com.  Never heard of the company; never made the charges.  I called the company and told them that they were not ours.  They said that the orders had already shipped to New Hampshire and Pennsylvania but that they would tag the account.  Whoopee!  I'm still out $400.  I called the bank and they red lined my account.  I went up there to start the paperwork to challenge the charge.  She took my debit card and CUT IT UP!  (That hurt.)  She ordered me a new one with a different number but it will take a few days to get it.  I'm in withdrawal.  She said that my best hope was to demand that the company give me a refund.  She said the Visa may give us trouble as the card was not always in my possession.  Hub had it and used it part of last week.  Even though it is a joint account and we are married, that shows that I authorized someone else to use my card.  NUTS!  I did call the company back and tried everything, but nothing.  They said that the bank should not have approved it.  They could care less.  I went to the police station and filled a report.  The officer took one look at my statement and said "Oh, I bought a computer from them."  Congratulations.  He took the info but basically he admitted that we are just going through the motions.  He did give me a website to register this complaint that is put up by the FBI.  Funny thing though, Wednesday night several of us were waiting for the kids to get out of youth group.  I told someone what had happened and another gal said that the same thing happened to her husband last week.  Both of had 3 charges from the same company.  Can't figure this out as we use different banks and they were out of state most of the week.  Couldn't find anywhere that both of us had used our debit card.  Moral of this story:  Use a credit card instead of a debit.  Easier to get a credit than money.  Also, don't let hubby use a card with your name on it.
• Our youth group has been studying purity all month and we will have a purity banquet this Sunday.  They really want to make it nice and important for the kids.  They are dressing up as if for prom and everything is decorated very wedding-ish.  I love doing this type of thing.  Did it at our previous church.  A formal sit-down dinner for 2,000 of my closest friends was my pride and joy.  Came out beautifully if I say so myself.  We had such a good team.  I'm excited.  Then I find out....we have no budget.  No, zero, nada, nothing.  This is a small church and they are paying for purity rings for everyone.  That took it all.  So..I went shopping at ..My House, and then a friend's house.  Someone scoured the warehouse at church.  A new member just got married a couple of months ago.  She brought us tons of tulle.  We are pulling it all together.  Actually, I think it will be fine.  I've scoured Pinterest.
• I went this afternoon to Garden Ridge to pick up some ribbon, branches (I know, Viv.  I should of sprayed my own.), picks, etc.   Just a few things to finish out.  Had a good time with it and even found a roll of Christmas leopard print wire ribbon for me. (Score!)  Waited in a long line.  Checked e-mail.  Get to the check out.  Ooh.  Mama also want a piece of chocolate.  Adds up to $43.  Start to write a check...they don't take checks.  Remember, I don't have a debit card right now.  Pull out a credit card that I very seldom use and slide it.   It's expired.  I have like $11 in my purse.  I beg him not to put it back and I run out to try to find a bank.  It's 5:20 on a Friday afternoon and I still have to pick up our "guest that won't leave" at 5:30.  Don't see a branch of our bank around so I run to pick the girl up.  I start scanning my phone for a bank branch.  TRAFFIC GALORE!  Find one on the same street that she works on.   We fly out of there.  We go 10 minutes...in the wrong direction.  We turn around and are so hemmed in that at 5:58.. I gave up.  Actually, I'm about to cry.  We have a lot to do and people are meeting at the church at 10:30.  Problem is that #2 has his last baseball game tomorrow at 9:30.  We will be tied up until about noon.
• Well, and back to the girl.  This is my son's girlfriend that we have already supported and carted around since Christmas.  Yep, we're suckers.  She and our son have been broken up for over a month and we had told her that she could stay with us again instead of their ghetto house.  Just so she could get her things ready to moved to California and have some money to go.   Well the first weekend that she was with us, she came home on payday with lots of bags.  Seems that she needed some clothes and shoes.  (?)   Then, she was suppose to be out two weeks ago, but turns out that she was overdrawn at her bank.  Duh!   She kept getting bank notices every day and she just said that they were statements.  She wouldn't even open them.  So now it has been another two weeks.  She was to have gotten her check today.  Nope.  Won't be in until Monday.  She owes us money, too.  Actually a lot more but that's another story.  The way she talks, I think she is planning to go and hang out with her grandfather instead of living with her mother.  I came down on her tonight and told her she needs to step up and get a job and support herself wherever she lands.  And get a job close to her home.  I spend an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon round trip getting her to and from work.  Two hours of my day plus car expenses.  (Certify me now.)  I told her that even her mother would probably not do that for her.  She snapped back, "Well, sorry if I am such an inconvenience."  Hey, she finally got it!  I need my guest room.  I have a sweet friend that is dying to visit.  I've bought new pillows and everything to put out when she leaves.  So leave already!
• One more gripe about the girl (and my husband).   How come men are so easily manipulated by a young girl?  Her mother calls Hub telling him that she has never had a father figure and looks at him as her father.  (Barf!  Wonder where she learned manipulation.)  The girl plays it up big time.  You know when another woman is playing up your husband.  She tells me one thing and then cries on his shoulder with "the truth".   Of course, I get to play bitch to her poor little thing.   I'm really done. 

Okay.   I've gotten a bit of my whine out.   Wish I had some wine to go with it.  I'll try to make my next post more up.  Maybe I will tell you what a wonderful banquet we had.  Maybe I will tell you that the bank refunded my money plus interest for my trouble.   Maybe I will tell you that the Rangers won the World Series.  Maybe not.

Later.

Ladies, start your engines!

Busy, busy times.  October is the start of the “family season”.  Not only the Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s train gets rolling, but my son and husband have birthdays, there’s Halloween, and of course, in our house anyway, there is the World Series and the Super Bowl.  (Especially when the Texas Rangers are playing.  Go Rangers!)  I really enjoy decorating for fall, but somehow I seem to relate decorating for Christmas with high stress.  Every year I promise myself to do it differently; more sanely and more sweetly.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy the holidays; there is just so much expectation that goes along with it.  There are a lot of fun special opportunities.  There are parties.  Our church calendar is already filling up with fun and worthwhile service activities.  There are special things going on around town that we want to take advantage of.  Christmas movies are part of our traditions.  What is Christmas without “Rudolph”, “Frosty the Snowman”, “White Christmas”, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Christmas Vacation”?  Those are all part of our traditions.  It’s just so darn busy.  I am always so relieved when it is time to go to church on Christmas Eve.  That is when I know that whatever is done or not, there is no more I can do.  It also brings me back to what it’s all about.  Time to exhale.  Whew!  But for right now, “Women, start your engines.”

So in the interest of keeping connected, this is what has been going on:

·         #2 son turned 14.  OMG.  As soon as he studies and takes a test, he will be awarded a learner’s permit to drive.   Crazy stuff.  He was sick on his birthday and the day before.  He wanted only one thing for his birthday.  (How many times did I hear “only one thing”?  He’s not spoiled much. ) He wanted a 32” flat screen mounted in his room.  Good for him, Best Buy had a special on installation or that wouldn’t have happened.  He went on a weekend church retreat with 3 of his friends and his dad was a counselor, so I would say that he had a pretty good birthday.

·         A week ago today, #1 went to court for one of his escapades.  The attorney told him the day before that he may not get a plea bargain as he had chosen not to respond when they sent him one.  The sentence could be as much as 9 years.  Luckily, he received 30 days and 5 years of probation.  He will get out just in time to appear for his next issue.  This never gets any easier.  I just try to remove myself from it.  Sometimes, I can actually do it.  Only sometimes. 

·         He and the girlfriend are going separate ways.  We had told her that she could stay with us while she got things ready to move to California with her mother.  We didn’t want her to stay by herself in the ghetto home they had rented.  But now I am really ready for her to go.  You have to push her with everything.  Yes, I am pushing.  We’ve supported her for 7 months.  That’s plenty.

·         Hub’s birthday is this Friday.  He is getting his “birthday weirdness” on.  He is such a girl some times.  We had a big party last year since he turned 60.  This year, not so much.  I couldn’t even invite his sis as our guest room has someone living in it.  L

·         Our youth group had a lock/in/out/down this past weekend.  #2 invited 5 of his friends to go.  They needed another chaperone so I went.  I intended to just stay until about 2 a.m. but ended up staying all night.  We started at the church and then went bowling and had pizza.  Then we went ice skating and broom ball.  Maybe I should say they went ice skating.  I did bowl though (and rather well I might say).  We went back to the church about 5 and a sweet mom was there with eggs, hot biscuits and sausage gravy.  I’m not usually a gravy person, but I have to admit it was really tasty.  I came home, took a Tylenol PM and slept until about 12:30.  Then we went to a “wienie” roast, hayride, and bonfire out in the beautiful country.  So beautiful and so much fun.  I love the people at our church…and toasted marshmallows, too.

·         Don’t know if I mentioned it or not, but I did find a new home for my grand dog.  Everyone promised to, but didn’t.  I finally put her on Craigslist and actually had several responses.  I’m sure she is much happier and I know that I am.

Hope you guys are enjoying the fall.  Have you discovered Pinterest?  It is my newest obsession.  If you haven’t decorated for fall, just go there.   I’m sure you will be inspired.

Later.

She chose life.

Fourteen years ago today, I stood outside of a hospital room door praying and waiting.  Waiting to hear the first cries of a baby.  Not any baby.  My baby.  My little boy.  The 2nd little baby that we had longed for, planned for, prayed for, and waited for.  We had already been there for about 12 hours before we heard his wails.  It was still 20-30 minutes before Hub and I got to go in and meet him.  Love at first sight?  No.  I already loved this little one.  I had sat in for several hours by the mother that would give him birth, just listening to the music of his heart beating.  It was strong and beautiful.  I had been getting to know his birth family for about two months, but hearing the sounds of his beating heart.....well, it took my breath away.  Before then, I was in love with the dream of a baby.  At that point, I fell in love with him.  He responded to me, too.  When I would speak, he would turn his face to me.  Did he know that I was the mother who would enjoy his smiles, kiss his tears away and love him forever?  I like to think so. 

At the same time that I was standing there in awe of this little baby, there was another mother who was starting down a path of intense emotional pain.  I really don't think that she comprehended how intense her feelings would be.  In all of my joy, I hurt for her.  Nine months earlier, this was her nightmare outcome after spending an evening with a co-worker.  A life changer and a deal breaker in her plans of college and career.  She could have handled her "little problem" differently, but she chose life.  Thank God she chose life.  Her first motherly decision.  Now she looked for a plan.  She contacted an agency with experience in this to guide her.  There was counselling, meetings, paperwork and health appointments.  Every day, she chose life.  She read through stacks of profiles and poured through albums of pictures that were there to introduce her to prospective parents.   She looked through trying to make a connection.  Trying to see something in there that would lead her to feel drawn to this couple to parent her child.  A huge responsibility for anyone, much less a 20 year old.  But still, she chose life.  Now though, she had to put an action to her plan.  Now there was this beautiful, squirmy, helpless little human being looking up at her.  She was touching baby hands and smelling baby smells.  She would put her cheek next to the soft hair on his head.  She felt the beating heart that we had been hearing.  Now it was real with ten little fingers and ten little toes.  Could she really do it?   She wasn't so sure.  She liked our family.  We had a growing connection.   I think she felt good about her decision to choose us, but now the issue was letting him go home with someone else.  Would she be able to sleep not knowing if he was in bed or sleeping or comfortable?   What if she was wrong about us?  What if some day he held this decision against her?  What if?   What if she hadn't chosen life?"

We had a unity ceremony in the chapel of the hospital before we left.  This was to celebrate this child and our two families coming together for his good.   There was just a few special people there, but not the birth mother.  She was late.  Then, she was really late.  The case worker came down to tell us that she had not signed the needed papers and that she wasn't positive that she even would.  Our hearts were being ripped out of our chests.  For ourselves, for this precious innocent baby and for her.  I knew her pain would be intense, but I hadn't seen this coming.  I'm sure she didn't either.  After an eternity of an hour jplus twenty, we received the news that she had signed.  Then she, her mother and the baby came down to the chapel.  She was pale with swollen, red eyes.  She was stoic, yet fragile at the same time.  We had our little celebration ceremony.  Poems were read; prayers were said; she and I both lit a unity candle as two mothers united over one little boy.  We hugged, we cried; we passed the baby back and forth between us, and we hurt together at her feelings of  loss.  Still, she had chosen life.  The hardest decision that she could make but a selfless decision in the best interest of a very, very loved little boy.

I'm sure that she is remembering that day today as well.  She now has a daughter and is pregnant with another little girl.  Her life is good.  I don't think that she regrets anything that she went through for our baby.  She may even hold her daughters just a little tighter because of him. 

So now we are the parents of a smart, funny, silly, charming, SPOILED fourteen year old.   He can't wait for us to go to his favorite Mexican food restaurant tonight.  Today has been all about him.  (Of course, most days are but that's another story.)  He has brought our family so much love, smiles and joy.  I thank God for him every day.  All because she chose life.  God bless her always.

Later.

Another "Only in Arkansas" moment

There is something about small towns that can be so fun.  We went to the high school football game on Friday night.  Perfect football weather.  Cool and crisp.  The stands were full.  People support the kids here.  They have fun traditions.  Here after every home team touchdown, the cheerleaders drop on the track and do as many push ups as the score.  Poor girls.  The score Friday night was 45-35.  I'm sure those girls were exhausted.

This also game me another chapter in "Only in Arkansas".   The sports announcer started talking about "Cow Chip Bingo".   HUH?   New one for me!   The guy next to me was surprised that I didn't know what this was.  (Go figure!)   So anyway, you buy a square on a scoreboard.   I have no idea how many there are, but I imagine there are quite a few.  Then they take the baseball field and grid it off in corresponding squares.   Next is the great part!   They bring in a COW and let him loose on the field.  The owner of the square where the cow makes poo (moo-poo, I guess) will be the winner of $1500.  I kid you not.   He says that the announcer will give updates during the game ie. "No winner yet."  "The cow hasn't gone yet."   Isn't that hysterical?   Only in Arkansas!

Later.

The Help: the movie and my truth

The Help.     Have you read it?  Have you seen the movie?  Did you love both?  I certainly did.  It’s now one of my favorite movies.

Movies set in the 60’s are so fun for me.  Not exactly the Beach Blanket Bingo types, although they are fun, too.  I love to see the ones that show the inside of the homes and the popular things of the time.  I was a little girl then.   It’s fun to go back and remember things of childhood.  How things looked; what we did; what we ate, how we entertained. Looking at the set from The Help, I saw things that were in my parent’s home.  Familiar things:  metal TV trays with flowers painted on them, black & white televisions, cat-eyed eyeglasses with rhinestones.  I never had glasses back then but boy did I want them.   

I was also very aware of all the cigarette smoking in the movie.  Back then, it was an accepted thing.  There were ashtrays everywhere.  We had some in our house.  My dad smoked a pipe but he was the only one that lived in our house that smoked.  People would come over and never think anything about lighting up.  I remember cleaning the ashtrays afterwards and thinking how much they smelled, but we would have never asked someone not to light up.  That was the way it was at the time.  It was an accepted thing in homes and at work.  We didn’t make special place for them to smoke; we put ashtrays all over so that it would be convenient for them.  We were more concerned about ashes on the floor and furniture.   News reporters always smoked.  It made them look more serious and smart.  (We thought.)  Beautiful girls in gowns and in clubs always smoked and sometimes had a long cigarette holder.  It made them look sophisticated and sexy.  (We thought.)

The Help also brought to the forefront, and sometimes uncovered, the relationships of households and “their help”.  It is probably good for us to be reminded of how far we have come.  In every society, there have been injustices that will be or have been corrected as we become more sensitive and aware of the issues.  Lots of sympathetic tears were shed as we watched characters that we got to know and appreciate be treated as lesser human beings.  I cried.  Me, a Southerner that grew up with a wonderful lady coming into our home a few days a week to “help”.  Did she raise me?  No.  Did we build her a separate toilet?   No way.  I presumed she used the only one in our home.  I don’t know.  Never thought about it.  Did I love her?  Yes.  She was a fun, happy person with a great smile who was in my life.  I followed her around and was reminded many, many times by my mother to stay out of her way.  Did I consider her our maid, housekeeper, help, lesser person?  She was Callie.  Just Callie.  She came to my house and I loved her.  We also had a black man that worked at my daddy’s business for many years.  He was actually a very respected pastor in the largest colored church in the area.  My dad and he talked “Bible” all the time.  They were good friends with a mutual respect.  Still, they were on different paths.

My point is to just put out there a little disclaimer about the movie.  While the behavior of the families depicted was appalling and inexcusable, some of these relationships were “just the way it was”.  My parents would never treat anyone that way no matter their job and would have totally punished me if I had.  Still, it was an accepted fact then that black men and women generally worked for white people.   Sadly, these were the roles we were put in just by the color of our skin.  I remember “colored” restrooms and “colored” water fountains.  Blacks were directed to them just as we would direct people to the men’s room or ladies’ room.  As a white girl, I never thought about that they couldn’t use our facilities.  It was just that the other was theirs.  The thing is that generally, and as far I knew, most black people accepted that as theirs, too.  Black children had to question why things were separate, but for the most part, they were taught just like the white kids, that they just were.  I can’t imagine how they felt.  Still, we were operating in total ignorance.  One generation teaches the next until it is finally questioned and change happens.  That generation wasn’t made up of bad people; just black and white people both acting and living by the guidelines of that time.

So, read the book and go see the movie.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.   It’s an important story told very well.  Although a fictional story, similar things really did happen and were really, really wrong.  But just as in our ignorance about smoking and its effect, know that for the most part, this was the accepted standard that was in place at the time.    We should have all had the questioning of “Skeeter” in us and the bravery of “Aibileen”.

I (heart) pink - Part 2.

After baseball today, Hubby, my 23 and 13 year old sons and my son's friend (also 13) wanted to go to a pizza/game place.  The guys were running around playing lazer tag and winning tickets off of games like little kids.  They came back to the table with huge grins to show me that they each had a "I (heart) boobies" bracelet on.  They had them over at the prize counter.  Sometimes you just can't win.  Oh well.  Guess it's my job now to make sure the 13 year old boys are educated as to what the bracelets all stand for. 

As far my 23 year old,  well, he just likes boobies.

Later.

I (heart) pink.

Thought you might enjoyed a conversation between my son and I the other day.

Son:  Mom, I want to buy a wristband that says "I (heart) Boobies".
Me:   What?  No. 
Son:  But Mo-o-o-om!  It's just to support breast cancer awareness.
Me:  You're 13.  You will have to show your support another way.  Wear pink.

Sorry.  I just couldn't handle that one.   He may have wanted to help as one of his teachers from last year does have breast cancer.  But he is a 13 year old, walking, talking, raging male hormone.  I'm not totally buying his "awareness" reason.

Besides, he looks really good in pink.   Let him wear pink.

Later.

Here's my "Where were you at on 9/11" story.

Tuesday, September 11, 2001.   A beautiful early fall day.   Clear skies.    I drove my happy, almost 4 year old to preschool.   I usually attended a Bible class at our church on Tuesday mornings, but this day, I decided that I really didn’t feel like it.   I treated myself to a sausage biscuit and headed home.  The car radio was on and the announcer was rattling about something happening.  They were obviously confused to the details and I didn’t know if something was happening locally or where.  I flipped on the little kitchen TV to “Good Morning America” as I sat down to have breakfast.   As people did everywhere, I stared at the screen in disbelief.  They kept showing film of Tower 1 on fire.   They said that a plane hit it.  I wondered if the pilot was ill.  How could this “accident” happen?  Then they showed film of the plane actually hitting the tower.  Only this wasn’t a film but live TV showing the second plane hitting the other tower.  Huh?   How could two planes go off course like that?  Terrorists really didn’t enter my mind.  This is the United States.  That stuff doesn’t happen there. 

I sat there and watched for a little while.  I called my husband who had started a new job that day.  (Ironically, he was hired to work on government accounts.  The events of this day changed that plan and he would soon be laid off.)   Then it came over me that I wanted to go to our church.  I felt drawn to be with there for comfort.  I didn’t know if anyone would be there or if they would be there and not know what was going on.   The place was full.   We talked, we prayed; we cried, and we prayed some more.   A television was brought into an adjoining room and some watched and kept us apprised as we did all that we could.  We got on our knees and prayed for about 1-1/2 to 2 hours.  We heard about the Pentagon.  I have a niece, nephew and cousin in DC.  Everyone seemed to know someone.    Then we heard that there was an airplane in the air that was not responding and that there were orders to shoot it down.   Huh?  What about all of those innocent people?  What’s going on here?

I left there and did what mother’s do.  I wanted my chicks close to me.   I went to preschool and picked up my little one.  I went by my other son’s school to check on him.  He was doing fine and I made the decision that it would be more disruptive to him to take him out early.  I went home and parked in front of the television watching the same videos over and over.  In the days that followed, there would be psychologists telling parents to limit the media that their children were exposed to.  I was already there myself from media overload and feeling depressed.  I kept seeing the people looking for their loved ones and putting myself in their place.  There was also the reality that there would be nothing for some of these people to find.

This was one of those days that change how we go forward.  Our comfort zone was invaded.  We felt helpless and small.   In those days, we are reminded that we are not in charge.  God is.  The devil may be attacking, but God is still in charge.  We need to trust and keep focused.  Just a reminder.

It happened 10 years ago.

September 11, 2001, aka 9/11.   So famous, or maybe infamous, that you don't even have to say the whole date.  Kind of like Cher, Madonna, Ga-Ga....yet VERY different.  A day that changed the world as we knew it.  For Americans, it was very personal.  THEY came here.  THEY attacked US on our homeland.  We lost our innocence.  We lost our comfort zone.  Other countries saw that if it could happen here, it could also happen to them.   Just for a moment, the world seemed to stand still as we collectively held our breath; lost as to what would happen next.

The marvels of technology immediately brought this all into our homes.  Most of us were eye witnesses.  I remember watching the second plane hit and thinking it was a video of the first.   We heard the stories of valor and bravery.  Everyday people were suddenly leaders and heroes.  (John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.")   We heard the stories of a "destiny" changed  due to stopping at a drug store, missing a train, a child's first day of kindergarten.   We cried in sympathy for the loved ones lost.  We grieved for the children to come that would never feel the touch of Daddy.  The stories became known and personal to us.

Our daily lives changed.  Travelling will never be the same.  Agencies such as "Homeland Security" were formed.  Boarding an airplane took more time and got more complicated.  Suddenly, we were ultra aware of people around us; especially if they did not look like us.  Companies closed or scaled down due to uncertainty.  People lost jobs.  Commodities became more expensive.  Along with "stranger danger" and "stop, drop and roll", children learned of terrorists and not to use the word "bomb" on an airplane.    

Yes, the world changed that day.  So did we.  Actually, I hope that we never go back to where we once were.  We need to remember.  Along with the reality of all the horrors of those days, a new America was born.  Flag waving, proud Americans.  ONE nation under God.  Our flag suddenly looked a little brighter, more beautiful and a little more precious.  You will not hold us down.  Let's Roll!" was a new mantra.  We became just a little more proud and aware of the men and women who bravely serve in our military.  Have you ever stopped someone in a military uniform and thanked them for their service?  I have.  I don't remember doing that much before but now I just have to give them my meager "this will never be enough of a thank you for your service".

We have to remember lessons learned.  Such as ALWAYS remember to say "I love you". Don't take for granted that we will have lots of chances to.   Disasters can bring out the best in people.  Ten years ago, New York was flooded with people wanting to stand shoulder to shoulder with them to help.  That attitude needs to continue.  Our children need to see and learn from our example.  We are not by ourselves.  Be kind.   Be smart.  Be proud.   WE MUST NEVER FORGET.

Later.

My friend has cancer.

My friend has the big "C". Challenge? Confusion? Cause? Crusade? Crud? Cowlick? Yes to all, except maybe cowlick. My friend has cancer. Not the words that anyone wants to hear. But what do you do? Cry? Of course. Be sad and then mad. Yep! Talk it out with friends and family to try to make sense of this and then comfort and encourage them? That's what we do. We are women...hear us roar. We may bitch a little, or a lot. But YES, we roar.

My friend is a beautiful woman. Will she lose the eyes that have such a beautiful vision of the world? No. Will she lose the ears that listen to others wanting to understand their position? Seriously? She's not a squeeze toy that the eyes pop out when the pressure is on.  She's a woman.

Will she lose her sense of humor? Probably some days. She is such a positive person, that I don't expect it to be many. Besides, she has a host of strange friends to keep her smiling. How can you not smile. We love her. Besides, she's a woman. That's what she does.

Will she lose that beautiful "longer" hair? 'Fraid so. But you know, I hear bald is the new black. (Boy was that lame! Sorry.) Anyway, scarves are totally chic now days and wow is there a beautiful selection. Don't forget wigs! Black women have rocked them for years. You can always go check out the Kim Zolciak line of wigs. (If you don't know who that is, check out the "Real Housewives of Atlanta". Just don't copy her boob job. Please!) Personally, I have always loved seeing women just go au naturelle with their heads though. They look beautiful and strong and free. Besides, bald is beautiful. Why should only the men get the good stuff. Bald IS beautiful. Recognize this beautiful head?

Will she lose a breast?  Yep.  A friend of mine has a t-shirt that says "Save the Ta-Ta's".   Wonder if we could find one that reads "Save the Ta-Ta"?  I'm just talking out loud here.  Boobs are so over rated.  For goodness sake.  You also call a stupid person a "boob".   Have you ever been running on the beach and have those things bouncing up and down?   Me neither, but I bet it hurts.   I have sat in the massage chair while getting a pedicure and looked down to see the glands shaking like Jello.  Not attractive. 

Anywho, this woman is a hero.   Not because she has cancer right now.  That part sucks.  But because she is smart, strong, healthy and a spitfire.   She will soon be past this and encouraging and helping other women on this journey.  She's a Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister and faithful friend.  Yep, my friend has cancer.   But that doesn't define her.

Later.

I'm off to join the circus.

"Goodbye" she said. "I'm off to join the circus."

This is the cover graphic I added to my computer case. Like it? I found it a few months ago and thought it was totally me. It does make me smile.

I took my son to register for school yesterday. Is the summer break actually almost over? We have crammed so much into the last couple of months. What happened to the lazy days of summer. I sure could use one...or seven.

On another note, we went to see "Cowboys and Aliens" yesterday afternoon. I had really looked forward to it. With Indiana Jones and James Bond in it, how could it not be great? Disappointment. We went with several members of my son's youth group. Only the younger teens actually liked it. Great company; not so great flick. That's my review anyway.

So yesterday I wrote about a pretend (soap opera) life. Today, the ugly truth. #1 son had surgery on his hand. Really concerned about him and pain meds. He does need some, but he is an addict. Also, he is in need of money. He has been hitting us up and trying to play both of us. That's always fun. He got in his car the other night (that he doesn't have a license to drive due to two DUIs), ran over something, bent two rims and lost a tire. He got into a fight and messed up his splint/cast. He took it off himself. The doctor had told him how important it was to keep it still and not re-tear the ligament. The house that they rented is in a tough part of town. With his big mouth, things are not going to well there either. This past weekend emotions ran high. He had all kinds of plans running from moving to Minnesota to live with his birth-grandfather that he has spoken on the phone once with; calling a cousin and asking for a gun; looking for multiple AA meetings to go to; to going back to an employer who used him before and still owes him money, etc. The AA meetings was the only idea that was reasonable. I just hope his intentions are pure and that he will follow through.

I wrote that I was tagging along with hub on a business trip. We left last Sunday and had a nice trip. I accompanied him to a couple of opening sessions on Monday since I work for the same company. Then I went back to the room; took a nap and freshened up for dinner. Hub and another district manager took about 20 clients to a fabulous restaurant. Really different and really yummy! What a good day! Tuesday was to be "my day"; or so I thought. Started out great with sleeping in and then ordering room service breakfast. Leisurely got ready and scoped out on the internet as to where all I wanted to go. I've been having some real pain in my knee which I had been self-treating with ibuprophen. I noticed that it was a little worse as I was walking down to the elevators. It was close to time for Hub to be breaking for lunch, so I decided to wander down there to see how his presentations were going. On the way, something buckled in my knee and I could go no farther. I sat down at the nearest table as I could put no weight on my leg. Hub came out and he brought both of us lunch over to that table thinking it would get better. Oh and while I was there, I made the faux pas of asking a lady, who was going to sit down with us for lunch, to get me a water. Hub gave me a strange look and I later found out that she was the Senior Executive Vice President. Oops! She had just flown in for the day and I had never met her. Oh, well. She was kind. Anywho, I got to ride in a wheelchair back to the room (no drama) and asked Hub to take me to the hospital when he was through with his last session. I wasn't in pain unless I tried to move my leg or walk. The ER just put a leg immobilizer on me, gave me crutches and meds for swelling and pain. They told me to contact an ortho as soon as I returned. That night was suppose to be the big dinner and casino night. I had been looking forward to casino night. :( I had Wendy's in the car on the way to the hotel from the hospital. Instead of staying an extra day, we came home a day early. Saw an ortho; had a MRI on Friday; got results Monday and will see ortho again next Monday when he gets off vacation. MRI shows a torn meniscus, a cyst and arthritis. It is getting much better. I'm down to one crutch. Nurse said that this usually means surgery but we will see what the doc says. Hate to get so much better to go back. Hub says he doesn't want me to go to any more meetings with him. :( I had planned to go to New Orleans with him in November. Surely, he will forget before then.

Hub is out this week. Probably good for both of us. I have plenty to keep me busy and #2 is here again.

Guess it is time for me to put on my big girl panties and get on with things.

Later.

Soap Opera or Real Life?

I always thought that my life was a bit of a soap opera. Probably most of you would say the same things. Especially if you have a spouse, children, a job, a pets, a life....well, you get the picture. But right now I seriously wish my life was a little more of a soap. Not just any soap though. I am a die hard All My Children fan. I have watched AMC pretty much since it began. Since we were probably the last family in America to acquire a VCR, it was sometimes hard to keep up with the storylines, but as a dedicated fan, I did okay. Sometimes I scheduled appointments around my TV schedule. Yes, I must confess that I have been known to pick up a Soap Digest while waiting in line at the grocery store; check out the spoilers for AMC, and then put it back. That's right I did it. A DVR rocked my world though. Haven't missed one since. Before you send people in white coats to pick me up and take me to a 12-step program for TV addicts, I have to share with you that All My Children is going off the air in September. Take a moment. Sniff...

As much as I will miss my pretend friends of AMC, I have to share with you how they are ending this. It was only announced a couple of months ago that the show would not be continued. That left a lot of loose ends and storylines that needed to be settled. So what did they do? They had the main character sent to the mental hospital. And who would you find there but all of the funny ladies that have left the show without being killed off. Of course they are all in the mental hospital together. That makes sense. Actually, it has been really funny. But that leaves the well loved character that have been killed off. Oh, yeah. The brilliant, yet deceitful, Dr. Hayward has yet another secret. Somehow, he got to all of these people after they died (and before embalming evidently) and he has been using them as guinea pigs in a process of being the dead back to life. That's believable. Right? Whatever. But it makes for a lot of fun. I'm sure they will have to end with Erica Kane getting married for the umpteen time so everyone will have to be there.

Can you imagine this in "real life". People that make your life a little miserable sent right out to a hospital to be total entertainment. You know where they are. They are not going to bother you. You can take them out and play with them if you want then put them back up. All is well. The best part though is that the people that have left you in death to actually have been revived and are in a hospital somewhere waiting to come back into your life. Could be complicated. But what a dream. Anyway, I am totally enjoying it and all of this will probably make me miss my AMC habit even more.

So enough about my dream life. Lots going on. Not sure if I want to send someone to a hospital or go myself. Both would work for me at the moment.

Later.

News Flash! I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!

So nice to know that after all 28 years, my husband and I still really enjoy each other's company. Do I sound surprised? Maybe I am...a little. We have been so busy just going through the motions of life that I am afraid that we have neglected each other a bit. As so many couples, we have been on auto-pilot; ships passing in the night; text and e-mail buddies; getting by; friendly neighbors...you get the idea. Last week was different though. The young adults were in their own home (thank you, God) and #2 son was gone for a week on vacation with a friend. We were A-L-O-N-E. Just us. The two of us. No kids. No one else's kids. Scary stuff. It was greatness! We really didn't even do much. Hung out together. Laughed a lot. Enjoyed the hummingbirds. Watched late movies and slept late. Hub worked from home except for one day that he was gone for about 6 hours. Guess what! I missed him! Isn't that fabulous? We did paint and redecorate our son's bedroom while he was gone. That was even fun. What a great week!

This week...well, this week has been a little more normal for us. #2 son flew home Saturday bringing his friend to spend the week with us. He got off the plane asking for ibuprofen. He has double ear infections. He has come in our bedroom every night crying with pain and has ended up sleeping in a recliner in our bedroom. He was running pretty high fever, too. We were at an emergency clinic on Sunday morning and I took him back to the doc today. You would think he would be symptom free after 4 days of antibiotics. He is just now feeling a bit better. We are doing everything that we can to help him. His friend flies home on Saturday and on Sunday, #2 is leaving for a week at the beach with another friend and family. He has got to be well. Mommy and Daddy want another fun week. :)

On Sunday night, we received a call from #1 son's girlfriend. He was sharpening a knife and his hand slipped, slicing open his thumb. They spent the night in the E.R. He cut a tendon which will require surgery. That is now scheduled for next Monday. He will not be able to use his hand for 4-6 weeks. Great for his new job! Someone also threw something through the window in his ghetto home. Hub went over there today and replaced the glass for them. Hub has actually been pretty good about leaving them to handle things themselves lately. (Knock on wood.) As soon as he saw blood, #1 expected us to jump in the car and come take care of him. When they called, I just said "It sounds like you need stitches. Better go to the hospital." He couldn't believe we weren't coming, but they did just fine. They did call several times during the night with the last one being at 5 a.m. But hey, that's improvement. One of the calls was actually kind of funny when they were trying to give the hospital the car insurance card instead of the health insurance card. We totally enjoyed it, too, when they came over on Monday AND THEN LEFT!!! After they left, I told Hub to make sure that the garage door was down and the door was locked. Just in case.

Well, we are looking forward to another childless week next week. Hub has a business trip next week and I plan to tag along for a few days. He will be in meetings most of the days, but I am quite happy to entertain myself. One night, they are having casino night so that ought to be fun. We plan on staying an extra day.

Hope your weeks are going well. Go fall in love with your husband.....again.

Later.

'

They're out!!!!!

It finally happened! Sh-hhh. Did I say that out loud? My son and the girlfriend have moved out. Is that angels I hear singing in the background? We spent yesterday getting their things over to their new address. There is just a bit still here. #1 son called at 8:00 this morning about it. Us: "No! Stay there. We will bring it to you this afternoon!" It is sad how excited we are.

After all of the months of looking on the internet and newspaper for housing (that would be me looking, of course) and them poo-pooing signing even a 6-month lease, the girlfriend picked this house out on her own. It is a 2-bedroom, holes in the wall, foundation shifting home in the ghetto with a one year lease that they will be paying at least $200 a month too much for. I don't think I would be able to get any sleep there. And the kitchen....ew-w-w-w. She didn't even realize that it did not have a refrigerator until after they had signed. So much to learn! My mantra is now "I'm sure you will figure something out."

We got in Thursday night from a week of travel. The car says we drove over 1800 miles. We met family at their lakehouse in Kentucky for a couple of days. #2 son took a friend with him and they had a blast jet skiing all day. Lots of fun visiting and then a bonfire and s'mores in the evening. Good family time.

From there we went to Indianapolis. That was where the boys dubbed our trip "The Dead People Tour". Hub had promised his aging aunt to take her to her parents (his grandparents) graves. He had not been there since he was 10, so we were relying on her to get us there. Oops! It is a huge cemetery and we had two cars, four adults and two boys looking at every tombstone while the aunt waited in the car. Bless her heart. She was embarrassed that she was so confused, but after probably an hour or wandering, we found them. So next we had to go across town to another cemetery to find another set of grandparents. This cemetery was actually pretty cool. Even the boys were a bit fascinated. It was very ornate; lots of fancy monuments and even a few celebrities including President Benjamin Harrison and John Dillinger.

After that adventure, we went over to a cousin's home for a 4th of July celebration. Lots of family, lots of little babies to hold, lots of fabulous food and great fun. I love being with my husband's cousins. We spent the next two nights at one of the cousin's farm. That is a treat in itself. SO beautiful! Such a different lifestyle than mine. Don't know that I would want to do it, but sure is fun to visit.

While on this trip, I got to have my very first Bloggy Buddy visit. I met "Birdie" from strelitziamusings.blogspot.com at a mall for lunch. She was gorgeous and gracious just like I knew she would be. So much fun! We chatted and chatted while we were serenaded by a pianist and a soloist in the atrium. Not a bad lunch!

We left there and took the young teens to a Children's Museum. Knowing that they would not be seen from anyone from their school, they had a great time and didn't worry about looking cool.
There was also a travelling exhibition of Barbie there. (Sigh.) I walked all through it and remembered all my Barbie's and the outfits they had on display that I had once played with. Barbie has had so many careers. Ken is still a moocher with no job. He still was just hanging out at the Barbie Dreamhouse and driving her convertible. ;)

That evening, we had the next stop of our "Dead People Tour". (That sounds so bad!) While we were driving up from Kentucky, we received a call that one of Hub's Indianapolis aunts had passed away. She was 92 and had a great life. The visitation was that night so we all went over there to see her son that we had not seen in many years and pay our respects. #2 son's friend had never seen a dead body so this was an experience. After greeting family, I just let them go to a side room with their I-pods. My family didn't stay for the funeral the next day as none of had brought appropriate clothes or shoes.

We decided to break up the long trip home and drive 6 hours back to the lakehouse and then 6 hours home the next day. On the way, we saw a sign for Abraham Lincoln's birthplace. (Never knew that he had been born in Kentucky.) Since this was our "Dead People Tour", we drove 20 miles off the route, toured and learned more about Lincoln. We started out again and then Hub thought about Mammoth Cave. He and I had been there with #1, but #2 and his friend had never been a cave. Here we go again traipsing through the countryside. Kentucky designs the roads thinking that you need to enjoy all of the state's beauty. The roads are winding and it take twice as long to get anywhere. We got there late in the day but just in time to catch the last tour. It's not as pretty as Carlsbad but it is interesting. Also, at Carlsbad Caverns, you take an elevator down into the earth. Here you walk down. Lots and lots and lots of stairs. It is 54 degrees in the cave so it is okay. But then, you have to come out. Up lots and lots and lots of stairs. We were all sweating by the time we got out and I am sure my face was beet red. Next time, I will just wait in the gift shop. Our 6 hour drive had now turned into almost 12. The next day was rainy, so there was no skiing. We were all anxious to get home Thursday night.

So no "adults" living up stairs now. #2 son flew out this morning to go on vacation with family friends in Texas. Mom and Dad have the house to ourselves for a week to chase each other around. Woo-hoo!

Later.

Reality TV

Reality TV. My addiction. There....I've said it. No sense in signing me up for "Reality TV Anonymous". I'm quite happy with my addiction. It makes me feel more sane and normal. It makes me feel good about myself. I don't feel the need to get new boobs, lips and hair extensions. I don't dream of being a singer or designer. I don't live in a world where turning over a table is part of a normal dinner party. I don't have to say "Yes" to a dress while my mother and best friends pick it apart. (I now know why I went by myself to find my own wedding dress. Good decision.) No one called me a Bridezilla.....I don't think. I wouldn't last long on a deserted island fending for myself. I don't have a bunch of celebrity sisters or a pushy mother that keeps me in the magazines. I can kind of cut hair but have no desire to run a salon. But boy do I like watching all of this.....stuff.

At the moment, I'm watching "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". The Gypsy or Irish Traveler culture is SO different and very closed off. I've never seen wedding dresses of this kind of gaudy opulence. Way, way over the top in bling, ruffles and material alone. Only to be topped by the bridesmaids. Interesting enough, the culture is totally male driven. Girls marry young and are then virtually the property of their husband. Their entire life is geared to becoming a cooking, cleaning machine of a housewife in a small trailer. (A little like me. NOT.) Yet, they show these young girls dressed like hookers at really young ages out to attract men. The Pussycat Dolls have nothing on these girls as they dance the part as well. It's also interesting to me that they portray that in this culture, girls don't drink and certainly don't have sex before marriage. Still this show has more bare midriffs and more boobs spilling out than any of the "Real Housewives".

Big, fancy dresses are not just for weddings. They're showing a 7 year old little girl's first communion in a princess style dress made with 550 yards of pink netting. The dress weighs twice as much as she does. She can hardly walk. She arrives at the church in a stretch with her friends drinking sparkling cider. Huh?

So why do I like reality TV so much? I still have the prodigal son in my home. Glad he came back but it is way past time for him to find his own place again. Then there is his girlfriend that we are raising. I keep encouraging her to make amends with her father. It's time for her family to step up. Oh, I didn't tell you that we finally got them to take their dog somewhere else. Of course, I was deemed evil, but the backyard can finally be reclaimed. This weekend was the latest in a line of "deadlines" that Hub had placed on them to be out. They have decided that they are moving back "again" to where we lived. Until then they will be living with his boss. Oy vey!

Yep, reality TV seems to be a great diversion. Everyone has their family stuff. This is how I get through mine. Oh, and I just found out that Hub has asked #1 son and the girlfriend to come back here and house sit while we are away for about 6 days. Looking for a party? My house - next weekend.

Wonder what is coming on TV next...........

Later

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

Dear Diary,

Father's Day 2011 is almost over. It doesn't take Hallmark to remind me of Daddy. I can only wish that I could send him a card. I still miss him every day. Not so much the missing that makes you weep or sends you spiraling out of control. Just the reminder that I'm just talking to him in my head about daily life. He was my cheerleader with all of the answers. Not that he would just hand those answers over. He took way too many pschology classes for that. But somehow, he would direct me into finding my own answer. (Or at least thinking it was my own answer.)

Life can be really hard sometimes. He was my constant. Always there. Always believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. Always loved me. I really want to ask him about what to do with his grandson. He is driving us over the cliff. Of course, I do know in my heart what he would say. He would just say "Love him." He would say it quietly, powerfully, and in a way that I knew he understood.

Daddy was my first boyfriend. My brother told me once that when I was little I never called him "Daddy". I called him "My Daddy". Guess I was marking my territory. When I became an adult and lived in another city, it was not unusual for him to call me on Monday mornings as I was walking/running into the office. On the other end: "Hi Kid. Just called to say hello and tell you I love you. Have a great week."

Anyway, can't send him a card. He left for Heaven 27 years ago next month. If I could it would say something like...."Thank you for the wings you gave me. Thank you for the guidance you gave me even when I paid it no mind. I still heard you. Thank you for loving me like no other. I miss you, Daddy and I will love you forever."

Yep, Dear Diary, that's what it would say.

Happy Father's Day, My Daddy.

I hope I'm never the same.

May is my month. Between anniversary, Mother's Day and my birthday, I get a present almost every week. Poor Hub. He does a really good job of spoiling me. He had been out of town all last week and then came home with Corinthian Chimes (that I had hinted for at Mother's Day and thought he had forgotten) and a freshwater pearl bracelet that we had seen together at a local jewelry store. The chimes have such a rich, deep, perfect tone and I love them on my back patio.

Even better though, the man did for me what I truly wanted. I felt so very drawn to go to Joplin, MO and see if we could be of help. Getting the news that a friend of ours who now lives there was trapped in the Wal-Mart and missing for several hours, it just made it so personal. Not sure what to do or expect, we loaded up an SUV with 32 cases of water and headed out early Saturday morning. Poor Hub. It's a 4-1/2 hour drive and he had just driven back on Friday afternoon from a 7 hour trip in the same direction. What a guy!

We got there and went to our friend's church where there was a hub of activity. People and trucks were pulling in from all over the country. The people in Tuscaloosa, AL, who had just been through a similar situation, sent truck with things as well. People of all ages were drawn there to help in all kinds of ways. There was one man there that clearly had been a victim of a severe stroke. He was passing out waters and shuffling big trash cans back and forth relentlessly. I spent most of that day inside the church sorting through clothing and supplies. Hub was outside unloading trucks and helping to set up tents. Crews with chain saws were going out from place to place to cut trees so that they could be moved. Other crews went out to help people gather what they could salvage from their homes and to offer food, supplies and comfort. Another crew kept fresh food prepared for all the volunteers and survivors. The large church building was full of makeshift bedding and many people who had lost their homes were staying there along with the volunteers. We had brought bedding and had actually planned to just sleep in the back of the SUV. Kind of romantic, I had thought beforehand, but after a long day of work and sweating, we were happy to go home with a couple we had been working with when they offered us a shower and a place with A/C to sleep.

When we first drove into town, our GPS took us a bit around the outskirts of town so we saw very little destruction. Hub had gone into town with a guy to pick up more tents. He came back very somber just saying "You won't believe it!". He drove me through on the way to the home of our hosts for the night. He was right. It as all very apocolyptic. I expected to see Bruce Willis coming out from behind somewhere. It struck me how mostly void everything was of color. The pictures do not do it justice. Everything was in bits and mangled. Paint was pulled off of most things and trees were stripped of bark. You would be looking at something and realize it was a car. No, two or three cars tangled together. People were sitting on piles around their place to protect it from looters. (Our friend said while she was crawling out from Wal-Mart, that there were already people looting the store.) Everyone looked somber and many still disoriented. I looked at it in unbelief. I actually felt a bit guilty of taking pictures of their nightmare. People had literally been sucked out of the sunroofs of their cars while their seatbelts were still belted. I can't comprehend a force like that.

But I also saw a powerful resilience in people. There were several American flags hung on to pieces of metal and bare branches. On one torn house we saw, someone had spraypainted "We will be okay." We saw other relief centers scattered throughout the city. Lots of people in each of them. On Sunday, Obama came to town. We saw lines of people on the streets waving flags and holding signs that read "God loves Joplin" and "Joplin will rise". It was great for the President to come and acknowledge and comfort these people. Someone made the comment though that so many are so deep in the devastation, that they may not even get the word that he would be there. The devastated area is wide and they are working in from the perimeter to clear. You can barely get to the center areas. That will probably explain for some lost people.

On another note, the President's visit halted most of the work for the day until he had left. Curfew had been set from 9 p.m. until 9 a.m. so no one could even get in the areas in the morning before he arrived due to security. That wasn't good. Many, many people were able to be there because it was a holiday weekend. Hated to lose most of a day and all of the workers that had to leave. Bush was criticized severely for flying over New Orleans as to not interfere with the work. Not sure what the answer is but I guess Presidents just can't win this one.

Anyway, I feel changed a bit by what I saw and experienced. The areas around Joplin are truly beautiful. It did make me note the comparison between the natural beauty that God had created and the man-made creations that was crushed, crumpled, shattered and devoid of color. Our hosts said that the tornado was heading directly toward their beautiful property and then abruptly turned a different way. Their front yards had been cleared that day by teenagers of about 9 leaf bags of little pieces. They found a few personal effects from unknown homes. A few snapshots. I noticed out a back window where it had not been touched. Little pieces and shreds of gray everywhere. There was a piece of sheet metal wrapped around a branch high in a tree. Will probably have to stay there. Looked like a pink top laying on the ground. Mostly, though pieces not 2"x 2".

What a mighty God we worship. People asked "Where was God?" I saw him everywhere. In the power of destruction and in the hands, hearts and faces of people there to help other people. There are lots of stories of sacrifice, heroism, miracles, etc. Lots of hugs and lots of shared tears. That's where God was. Make no mistake about it.

Later.