My bubble is burst. It took a whole month, but I have seen the light. Our office/school is not void of office politics as I once thought it was. I can see where I am being courted by both sides as they are testing the waters to see where I stand. I'm not stupid. This isn't my first rodeo. But I am very happy sitting this one out, thank you very much.
You know men have joked for years about women not being able to get along. They do it as well only we don't seem to enjoy pointing it out nearly as much as they do us. It is such a cliche'. I hate being a cliche'. It's like when they portray Texans we always have cowboy hats and oil wells. I have neither for the record. Or if there is an eye witness to a tornado it's always a toothless person in an undershirt. Sorry, I got off track for a minute.
Anyway, the woman who is "trying to open my eyes" has so much true drama going on in her personal life that I have no idea why she is wasting her time with this junk. Birdie, I don't think this is the "woman who know what is really going on". She's just a busybody. It is just irritating. These are grown professional women. Who needs it!
Back to the real world....I was afraid Friday afternoon that I was witnessing a true nightmare. We were all trying to finish up and call it a day. The doors were locked but I had not turned off my outside cameras yet. A woman was banging on the door saying that her son hadn't come home from school. I let her in and then she went hysterical. He hadn't gotten off of the bus and school had been out for almost an hour. I asked if she had checked with his friends. She said he had no friends. I asked if he was in football, theatre, etc. She said no, nothing except for band. I called the band hall to see if he was there. The director said no and he thought that he had been absent that day. I check attendance and sure enough he had never come to school. The mom and the band director both said that this was a really good kid and this was not like him. Having had a rebellious kid myself, I asked her if they had had a disagreement or anything. First she said no and then she said that his grades were down and they had taken away TV privileges. Anyway, the police were called. His brother had stayed at their house in case he showed up and she kept on the phone with him. They found his backpack and instrument case there. I was really freaking out when the police told her to tell him to check the attic and their shed. You know 13 year old with absolutely no friends and lost privileges.... I was so scared that they would find him there. I asked her if he had a bike and it turned out that the bike was gone. Then they discovered that his horn was missing from the case. To make a long story short, he finally contacted his older brother who was on the way out of town to a high school football game. The woman and the police finally left and I'm left with the thought of a 13 year old friendless boy with a horn under his arm and riding a bicycle away from home. What a lonely picture. I'm sure he will have consequences to pay, but I also hope that someone wakes up to see that he needs help and guidance, too.
I'm going tomorrow to visit my lonely, lost boy......in prison.
Later.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Men and Football
I am really having a hard time feeding this blog. This "work" thing is eating up my time. I can't believe that I have to do it for five days EVERY week. :) The weather is fabulous. I would much rather be outside tooling around and pretending that I had a tractor like Rox....and had the land to warrant it....and knew how to drive it.....maybe I don't want one either. That's beginning to sound like work, too.
Our son's football is taking up a lot of our family time. He has practices twice a week and then games on Saturday. Watching the practice last night gave me lots of things to groove on. I'm watching twelve 10-year olds in full gear being coached by about 6 dads. The kids - they are just excited to put on all of this cool equipment. The dad - this is serious, serious business.
I really think it is so interesting to watch the posturing of men around other men when a sport is the issue. Watch them. They stand there with their manly poses: feet spread apart and their arms crossed like they are Mr. Clean or something. Then there are the serious looks and pulling up the pants. (Some adjusting, but that's a whole other subject.) Put a football in the hand of one of them. All of a sudden they have to pretend that they are throwing passes. You know , they cradle the ball in both hands,the arm goes back with the ball, they have the follow through, they turn and the hand comes down...still with the ball in it. They use this move like a punctuation mark. Either that are they want to look like the young men in the underwear ads of the Sear's catalog. Then there is the part where they all want to coach a little. Somehow every man has some innate theory that they know the RIGHT way to throw, catch, run, etc. If they are so good, why are they not on NFL teams and making extraordinarily big bucks?
The best part is when they play a game with the boys. These men are so excited to prove that they "still have it". Wonder how many of them are soaking a body part the next day.
I have spent almost 11 years with this child teaching him not to hit, push, knock down, steal, or be mean. Now dads are coming behind telling them to do all of these things. They are telling my baby to be an animal and always attack the ball. Knock down everyone out of their way to get to what they want.
Anyway, I just think that men can be really strange characters when it comes to sports. Can't live with.....can't kill them.
Later.
Our son's football is taking up a lot of our family time. He has practices twice a week and then games on Saturday. Watching the practice last night gave me lots of things to groove on. I'm watching twelve 10-year olds in full gear being coached by about 6 dads. The kids - they are just excited to put on all of this cool equipment. The dad - this is serious, serious business.
I really think it is so interesting to watch the posturing of men around other men when a sport is the issue. Watch them. They stand there with their manly poses: feet spread apart and their arms crossed like they are Mr. Clean or something. Then there are the serious looks and pulling up the pants. (Some adjusting, but that's a whole other subject.) Put a football in the hand of one of them. All of a sudden they have to pretend that they are throwing passes. You know , they cradle the ball in both hands,the arm goes back with the ball, they have the follow through, they turn and the hand comes down...still with the ball in it. They use this move like a punctuation mark. Either that are they want to look like the young men in the underwear ads of the Sear's catalog. Then there is the part where they all want to coach a little. Somehow every man has some innate theory that they know the RIGHT way to throw, catch, run, etc. If they are so good, why are they not on NFL teams and making extraordinarily big bucks?
The best part is when they play a game with the boys. These men are so excited to prove that they "still have it". Wonder how many of them are soaking a body part the next day.
I have spent almost 11 years with this child teaching him not to hit, push, knock down, steal, or be mean. Now dads are coming behind telling them to do all of these things. They are telling my baby to be an animal and always attack the ball. Knock down everyone out of their way to get to what they want.
Anyway, I just think that men can be really strange characters when it comes to sports. Can't live with.....can't kill them.
Later.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Caring
Well, my husband thinks that I have found the perfect job for me. Actually, I suspect that any job that keeps me out of the house and has a paycheck would be a "perfect job for me" to him. That's another story though.
I was telling him about some of the kids there and how they are getting under my skin and I want to do something to relate to them and try to be an adult friend to them. You do get a bird's eye view of home life on some of these kids. They are getting to be the age that some start trying to go back home after the parents leave because they are upset. They don't realize that school may be their salvation during some of these hard family times. There are so many broken families and the kids are caught in the middle of adults who can't get along. We have one family where the only son has stayed in the family home and the parents take turns living there with him one week at a time. Sounds like a good plan, but the parents fight like cats and dogs. Last year it was so bad that a judge said that he was taking the son away from both of them. One of our counselors stepped in and let him live with her for a time to try to give him a chance at normal. This year they are back to the old plan, but trying to get along or at least being quiet about it. They are both nuts. The boy....he just wants to get away and he is begging for a boarding school.
You have to laugh at some of these kids though. Another girl that tugs at my heart really needs some special services but has not been identified yet by the school district. She has an outside diagnosis as oppositional defiant disorder. Isn't that just another work for teenager? Anyway, she has a habit of being tardy to class. I probably issue her a tardy at least 3-4 times every single day. She has all kinds of detentions, but they haven't seem to get her attention until this week. I finally saw a little reaction in her about it this week. I'm trying to understand her. She was going out the door after getting one more tardy and earning a Saturday detention. She says "This is stupid." I jumped on the chance to communicate with her and told her to come back and asked her why she thought that. She said that Saturday just wasn't good for her. That SHE had a life besides school! I just had to put my head down. There's no arguing with that. She is much too busy to deal with this. Maybe she could pencil us in on another day!
Anyway, hub came up with an interesting concept. When they first said that I would be working with 7th and 8th graders, I thought what have I got myself into. Give me the sweet little elementary types. Not raging hormones. But he said that I am at the perfect school. He reminded me that our son was in middle school when he started going off track. I can relate to some of the parents that come in telling me about their struggles. I see kids that have to be called out of class for a visit with their probation officer. I see kids that are embarrassed about having to go to the nurse every day for the medications. These are the same kids who soon will make the decision that they don't need that med and refuse to come get it. They don't want to be singled out. So the bottom line is, I hope that I am in a spot that maybe I can stop another child for going down that path.
The weather has been gorgeous around here. For all of you Canadian geese type people.....sorry. It is just gorgeous. The sun is shining. It's not too hot. I would love for it to stay this way although we probably wouldn't appreciate it to much. With football games on Saturdays and two practices during the week, I'm getting to be out and enjoy it.
We had dinner last night with three other couples that we have been close friends with for several years. It is really hard to find a night with all eight of us can get together, so this was special. The four women always get together for birthday lunches, etc. It was so fun to be with everyone. We all have a friend that is going through a terrible time and we are afraid that we are going to lose her so it tends to make us all a little more thankful for each other. This gal is very sick with not a lot of hope of getting better. Two years ago, she was a vibrant active mom. I saw her a couple of weeks ago and she looks like a skeleton. My heart breaks for her, her husband and daughter. You never know what tomorrow can bring.
Tell someone you care today.
Later.
I was telling him about some of the kids there and how they are getting under my skin and I want to do something to relate to them and try to be an adult friend to them. You do get a bird's eye view of home life on some of these kids. They are getting to be the age that some start trying to go back home after the parents leave because they are upset. They don't realize that school may be their salvation during some of these hard family times. There are so many broken families and the kids are caught in the middle of adults who can't get along. We have one family where the only son has stayed in the family home and the parents take turns living there with him one week at a time. Sounds like a good plan, but the parents fight like cats and dogs. Last year it was so bad that a judge said that he was taking the son away from both of them. One of our counselors stepped in and let him live with her for a time to try to give him a chance at normal. This year they are back to the old plan, but trying to get along or at least being quiet about it. They are both nuts. The boy....he just wants to get away and he is begging for a boarding school.
You have to laugh at some of these kids though. Another girl that tugs at my heart really needs some special services but has not been identified yet by the school district. She has an outside diagnosis as oppositional defiant disorder. Isn't that just another work for teenager? Anyway, she has a habit of being tardy to class. I probably issue her a tardy at least 3-4 times every single day. She has all kinds of detentions, but they haven't seem to get her attention until this week. I finally saw a little reaction in her about it this week. I'm trying to understand her. She was going out the door after getting one more tardy and earning a Saturday detention. She says "This is stupid." I jumped on the chance to communicate with her and told her to come back and asked her why she thought that. She said that Saturday just wasn't good for her. That SHE had a life besides school! I just had to put my head down. There's no arguing with that. She is much too busy to deal with this. Maybe she could pencil us in on another day!
Anyway, hub came up with an interesting concept. When they first said that I would be working with 7th and 8th graders, I thought what have I got myself into. Give me the sweet little elementary types. Not raging hormones. But he said that I am at the perfect school. He reminded me that our son was in middle school when he started going off track. I can relate to some of the parents that come in telling me about their struggles. I see kids that have to be called out of class for a visit with their probation officer. I see kids that are embarrassed about having to go to the nurse every day for the medications. These are the same kids who soon will make the decision that they don't need that med and refuse to come get it. They don't want to be singled out. So the bottom line is, I hope that I am in a spot that maybe I can stop another child for going down that path.
The weather has been gorgeous around here. For all of you Canadian geese type people.....sorry. It is just gorgeous. The sun is shining. It's not too hot. I would love for it to stay this way although we probably wouldn't appreciate it to much. With football games on Saturdays and two practices during the week, I'm getting to be out and enjoy it.
We had dinner last night with three other couples that we have been close friends with for several years. It is really hard to find a night with all eight of us can get together, so this was special. The four women always get together for birthday lunches, etc. It was so fun to be with everyone. We all have a friend that is going through a terrible time and we are afraid that we are going to lose her so it tends to make us all a little more thankful for each other. This gal is very sick with not a lot of hope of getting better. Two years ago, she was a vibrant active mom. I saw her a couple of weeks ago and she looks like a skeleton. My heart breaks for her, her husband and daughter. You never know what tomorrow can bring.
Tell someone you care today.
Later.
Monday, September 15, 2008
MONDAY WITH MR. JERK
After 25 years, I have finally figured out that Monday Night Football may be something to be embraced. Right now my guys are having a great time watching football with friends. I have the house to my self for a little while. This has become an infrequent happening since I started to work and today was a really good time to have a little solitude.
I had heard the rumor that the woman who had my job before me just didn't like doing it. I was surprised at this. She was really good at it, thought well of, seemed really happy, etc. She is still at the school, only in a different position. Today I may have understood.
Don't get me wrong, I do still enjoy my job - except for the getting up early and doing it every day parts - but seriously there are a lot of jerks out there. We have some of the most amazing parents who are there for their children, offer to do whatever to help, and will thank you for the time you put into their children. Then there are the people that think that as a taxpayer, you work directly for them and that gives them the right to treat you badly. Hey, I'm a taxpayer, too. I'm trying to do the best by my own kids and yours, too. Can you tell I had to deal with a huge jerk today? Too much of a jerk to totally go into and it would probably just get me all work up again. At least I work with a really good administration who is very supportive and encouraging.
Anyway, it has been an eventful Monday. I left later to work and arrived right at starting time, instead of the usual 20 minutes early. The first call was from a mom who had just left school and saw a suspicious man in a car in the parking lot. Figured it was just a male teacher :) but gave her the number to an officer since ours was on vacation. Then a football player comes in saying that he had been thrown to the ground by his face mask and now he couldn't move his neck. Did I mention that the nurse was out today? Told him to lie down and I would get him ice and call his parents. He really seemed pretty good except for a stiff neck and he said that he wanted to call home himself. While I am getting ice, a young girl comes in from the tennis courts in tears where she had done a swan dive mainly on her face. She had a big, bloody skinned up chin, and scraped knees and hands. She was really hurting and by the way, it was her birthday. Poor girl! Then we overhear the football player sensationalizing his injuries to his parents. Yikes! What are they going to think? Do I hear lawsuit? We got the principal involved and went through all of the procedures. The dad came in and he was actually pretty good about it. This was all before 9 a.m.
Then I had a call from a mom asking me to get her daughter out of class and have her ready for release. Family emergency. She had just gotten a call from the hospital that her husband was in critical condition and in the ICU. Mom shared with me that he had been sick for awhile and that they now thought it was pancreatic cancer. How do you tell your 13 year old that? This little girl is diabetic so I see her quite a bit checking her blood sugar.
So Mr. Jerk can just go off and yell at someone else. I will always be professional to him, but he will not be getting what he wants when he wants it just because he's loud and obnoxious. Hey, I have a job to do and I'm seeing where I can make a little impact on a kid's life. School is the emotional safe place for many when they don't feel it at home. I'm glad I can be here for them. Especially Mr. Jerk's daughter. She may need someone most of all.
Sure am glad the nurse will be back tomorrow though. Being the gatekeeper is tough enough for me.
Later.
I had heard the rumor that the woman who had my job before me just didn't like doing it. I was surprised at this. She was really good at it, thought well of, seemed really happy, etc. She is still at the school, only in a different position. Today I may have understood.
Don't get me wrong, I do still enjoy my job - except for the getting up early and doing it every day parts - but seriously there are a lot of jerks out there. We have some of the most amazing parents who are there for their children, offer to do whatever to help, and will thank you for the time you put into their children. Then there are the people that think that as a taxpayer, you work directly for them and that gives them the right to treat you badly. Hey, I'm a taxpayer, too. I'm trying to do the best by my own kids and yours, too. Can you tell I had to deal with a huge jerk today? Too much of a jerk to totally go into and it would probably just get me all work up again. At least I work with a really good administration who is very supportive and encouraging.
Anyway, it has been an eventful Monday. I left later to work and arrived right at starting time, instead of the usual 20 minutes early. The first call was from a mom who had just left school and saw a suspicious man in a car in the parking lot. Figured it was just a male teacher :) but gave her the number to an officer since ours was on vacation. Then a football player comes in saying that he had been thrown to the ground by his face mask and now he couldn't move his neck. Did I mention that the nurse was out today? Told him to lie down and I would get him ice and call his parents. He really seemed pretty good except for a stiff neck and he said that he wanted to call home himself. While I am getting ice, a young girl comes in from the tennis courts in tears where she had done a swan dive mainly on her face. She had a big, bloody skinned up chin, and scraped knees and hands. She was really hurting and by the way, it was her birthday. Poor girl! Then we overhear the football player sensationalizing his injuries to his parents. Yikes! What are they going to think? Do I hear lawsuit? We got the principal involved and went through all of the procedures. The dad came in and he was actually pretty good about it. This was all before 9 a.m.
Then I had a call from a mom asking me to get her daughter out of class and have her ready for release. Family emergency. She had just gotten a call from the hospital that her husband was in critical condition and in the ICU. Mom shared with me that he had been sick for awhile and that they now thought it was pancreatic cancer. How do you tell your 13 year old that? This little girl is diabetic so I see her quite a bit checking her blood sugar.
So Mr. Jerk can just go off and yell at someone else. I will always be professional to him, but he will not be getting what he wants when he wants it just because he's loud and obnoxious. Hey, I have a job to do and I'm seeing where I can make a little impact on a kid's life. School is the emotional safe place for many when they don't feel it at home. I'm glad I can be here for them. Especially Mr. Jerk's daughter. She may need someone most of all.
Sure am glad the nurse will be back tomorrow though. Being the gatekeeper is tough enough for me.
Later.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
My Mother
Four years ago today, I lost my mother. I got a call about 8:30 in the morning from her nurse that she was passing. There was no way to get to her as she was a little over two hours away and her time was now. All I could do was to sit there with my thoughts. I looked up at the formal gown hanging on my bedroom door. We were all flying out the next morning halfway across the country to attend my step-daughter's big wedding. "Why now?" I selfishly thought. Then the next call came. It was over. She was gone. It had probably only been about 20 minutes. Seems like a pretty short piece of time for such an important event.
Really I had been in the process of losing my mother for about 3-4 years. Parkinson's disease and old age had been slowly taking her away from us. My mother's hands became very, very important to me. When she wasn't making a lot of sense and was losing her ability to communicate, her hands were the only things that seemed familiar. Mother always had beautiful hands. I could look at them and, although they were aging and getting more "life lines", they were still the hands that stroked me as a child and the hands that I had clung to and played with. I knew every finger and they always looked gentle and comforting to me. Even as an adult.
I miss my mother. Sometimes I think I miss her more now than the day she died. We had spent so long on the "business" of losing her (nursing care, many visits, cheerful cards and then memorials to be planned, houses to be emptied and sold, treasures to be divided, people to be remembered, etc.) that the emptiness is pushed back somewhere deep down. At the time, I was really blessed to somehow sense the happiness that my parents were now together in another life. They had a wonderful love story and had been apart for 20 years. I know it sounds crazy, but somewhere inside I could feel their joy. But right now, I feel like a child that misses the comfort and support that she provided. Someone to cry on about my son, her beloved grandson, and all that he is going through and all that he has put us through. Someone else that you can share it all with, holding back nothing and know that they will still love him in the end just like you do. Someone that you don't have to be strong for.
Those days four years ago were hard. Hub and I were torn between many emotions and family obligations. This all happened on a Thursday. He and I drove to my hometown to meet my brother & sister to make arrangements. My sister is the oldest by 13 years, then my brother and then me. I love my sister dearly, but somehow at these times she always has some kind of tantrum, chip on her shoulder or weird meltdown and makes it more of a nightmare. All of us are hurting and trying to be supportive of each other and then deal with her. Hub and I drive home and then he and my older son fly out Friday morning for the wedding. My younger son and I return to my hometown the next day and are there for the visitation on Saturday. The wedding was also on Saturday, September 11 (that's another story) and hub and son took a red-eye flight back to Texas. They arrived Sunday about an hour before the service. Then it was over. We all went back to our respective homes and lived our lives.
How weird are the rituals of lives? We seem to mark events as a way to celebrate them and sometimes as a way to just get through them. Some good, some bad. Births, birthdays, weddings, deaths, funerals and then we start over again.
Life can be strange, but I still miss my Mom.
Later.
Really I had been in the process of losing my mother for about 3-4 years. Parkinson's disease and old age had been slowly taking her away from us. My mother's hands became very, very important to me. When she wasn't making a lot of sense and was losing her ability to communicate, her hands were the only things that seemed familiar. Mother always had beautiful hands. I could look at them and, although they were aging and getting more "life lines", they were still the hands that stroked me as a child and the hands that I had clung to and played with. I knew every finger and they always looked gentle and comforting to me. Even as an adult.
I miss my mother. Sometimes I think I miss her more now than the day she died. We had spent so long on the "business" of losing her (nursing care, many visits, cheerful cards and then memorials to be planned, houses to be emptied and sold, treasures to be divided, people to be remembered, etc.) that the emptiness is pushed back somewhere deep down. At the time, I was really blessed to somehow sense the happiness that my parents were now together in another life. They had a wonderful love story and had been apart for 20 years. I know it sounds crazy, but somewhere inside I could feel their joy. But right now, I feel like a child that misses the comfort and support that she provided. Someone to cry on about my son, her beloved grandson, and all that he is going through and all that he has put us through. Someone else that you can share it all with, holding back nothing and know that they will still love him in the end just like you do. Someone that you don't have to be strong for.
Those days four years ago were hard. Hub and I were torn between many emotions and family obligations. This all happened on a Thursday. He and I drove to my hometown to meet my brother & sister to make arrangements. My sister is the oldest by 13 years, then my brother and then me. I love my sister dearly, but somehow at these times she always has some kind of tantrum, chip on her shoulder or weird meltdown and makes it more of a nightmare. All of us are hurting and trying to be supportive of each other and then deal with her. Hub and I drive home and then he and my older son fly out Friday morning for the wedding. My younger son and I return to my hometown the next day and are there for the visitation on Saturday. The wedding was also on Saturday, September 11 (that's another story) and hub and son took a red-eye flight back to Texas. They arrived Sunday about an hour before the service. Then it was over. We all went back to our respective homes and lived our lives.
How weird are the rituals of lives? We seem to mark events as a way to celebrate them and sometimes as a way to just get through them. Some good, some bad. Births, birthdays, weddings, deaths, funerals and then we start over again.
Life can be strange, but I still miss my Mom.
Later.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Political Trash.....just my opinion.
Why does political news have to get so nasty? Does dragging out personal, private issues and struggles about someone else really make us look any better? It really ticked me off this morning when all the morning shows kept showing pictures of Sarah Palin and her family and highlighting their 17 year old daughter who's pregnant. I know Obama took the high road and said that "family was off limits" but he doesn't even have to say it because the news people have already run away with it. When her Mom was announced and her family introduced, did you notice that girl standing there holding her baby brother? I felt so sorry for her. She so looked like a deer in headlights. I have even heard it rumored that she is actually the mother of her baby brother. Give me a break. (Do they watch Desperate Housewives??) She has enough to worry about without worrying if she is hurting her mother's career. And just what does this say about Sarah Palin? That she's a mother of kids who sometimes make mistakes and have problems to deal with......just like us. That she is supporting her daughter when she needs it the most. It does confirm her abortion views....or I guess maybe her daughter's. I'm just really a little ticked at the media for making her such an issue. I really think that the scrutiny deters really good leaders from getting out there and trying to make a difference. They are protecting their families. Colin Powell once alluded that he would not run for president because he didn't want to put his family through that. Who could blame him.
OK. I'm really not a political junkie, but I will always be an advocate of children and families and this just got under my skin.
On a lighter note, I told you about the football coach that wanted my son to hold back in drills because he wanted him on his team. We got a call from another coach last night. This guy got a better number in the draft and drafted my son before the other coach got to him. They said he wasn't happy. It kind of tickles me. That's what you get when you try to cheat. My son had his first practice tonight and I think he's going to be a really good coach. I liked his attitude. Also, I met some of the other parents that were there and they seemed really nice, too. Bonus points for me. You spend a lot of time at practices and sitting in the stands with these people. Might as well be entertained.
That's all for me tonight, but I do feel better. (Thanks for asking.) :)
Later.
OK. I'm really not a political junkie, but I will always be an advocate of children and families and this just got under my skin.
On a lighter note, I told you about the football coach that wanted my son to hold back in drills because he wanted him on his team. We got a call from another coach last night. This guy got a better number in the draft and drafted my son before the other coach got to him. They said he wasn't happy. It kind of tickles me. That's what you get when you try to cheat. My son had his first practice tonight and I think he's going to be a really good coach. I liked his attitude. Also, I met some of the other parents that were there and they seemed really nice, too. Bonus points for me. You spend a lot of time at practices and sitting in the stands with these people. Might as well be entertained.
That's all for me tonight, but I do feel better. (Thanks for asking.) :)
Later.
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