Thanksgiving......family, food, fun, and foolishness. How much more can one day take? We had our usual gathering with family. It was a smaller group this year, but that was good, too. This time it was just family members so I got to visit more with personally with people I love. It's all good. The food...amazing as always. My sister is the best cook that I know of. We all brought our contributions to the feast, but she just has that way to put it all together. YUM! Fun....there is always family football, crafts and games. The day goes very fast. Lots of smiles. Lots of teasing. Lots of hugs, kisses and "I love you". Just what it is suppose to be.
So then why did I come home sad? Oh, yes. There's the foolishness. That would be added to the mix by my darling boy, #1. As you know he has himself in a deep well of trouble. One that no one could escape unscathed. He has large debts to pay. Some with money; some to society. Actually, I think he finally realizes it. A little too late. When he and a friend were on foot in the middle of a heavy storm, they sought shelter under the roof of an abandoned house. They were ticketed with trespassing which broke the agreement of his parole. There is a warrant out for him. He told us he was going to run. We exhausted every chance to talk him out of it. While we were at a restaurant in Texas, he called a friend to pick him up and disappeared with him. This can't end well. They may not want him bad enough to spend a lot of time looking for him, but we all know, that one day he will mess up. Then the punishment will be more. I can't blame him for not wanting to go back to prison. He is so scarred from that nightmare. I'm also afraid that he won't make it out of this alive. That is really hard to say/write. He is depressed about his situation; the girlfriend; the future. How do you parent this child? Where is the sage advice that I'm suppose to have? I've got nothing. I'm so mad at him and my heart is hurting for him at the same time. I have no answers. Only prayers.
Later.
3 comments:
Wow. Oh wow. I don't know what to say...what a bittersweet post.
Okay, starters, glad you had such a great holiday! I HOPE I pull off Christmas with as much grace.
The son. Oh, the son. The son who is a man. How does one parent a man? You can't. You can only love him. It's so hard to watch someone drive their life into the ditch, especially someone you love with all your heart. You can always love him and try your best to guide him, but that's all you can do. Text me when you have time for a chat and I'll give you a shout...big hugs, til then.
Bless your heart. I have a cousin who began running from the law back in the early 70's. He's still running, that is if he's still alive. His mother went to her grave not knowing where he was or if he was still around. It's sad, how two people who are so kind and giving can end up with a child who is selfish and uncaring. He's grown, and like you said, now knows the outcome of his actions. Does he ever think "what if?"
Oh, sweetheart, prayers are what get us through sometimes. Let it go, let it go, let it go. You cannot control what another person does, only what you do. Love him, let him know, and pray for him—as I am for you and your family.
Post a Comment