Yep! She's gone. We took her to the bus station yesterday! Whew! Hub and I then went out for a celebratory breakfast. I do feel just a little ashamed that I am so happy she has left, but it was just time. She's not a bad girl, but this "failure to launch" problem needs to be handled by her family; not ours. She has really set us back financially, not to mention the stress and fights that she has caused. No more spending two hours of my day, much gas, and even more frustration every day getting her to and from a job. #2 has been totally disgusted with us that she was living in our home. She even gave us $200. Let's see, $200 for supporting her for close to a year. We should all find a deal like that. Let me wipe the word sucker off of my forehead.
So...it is just the three of us in our home......until next Wednesday when a dear friend and her daughter are coming to visit for a few days. Then the next day, #1 gets out of jail. He will be here for a bit. He has other legal issues to deal with. Sigh......
We've had an "interesting" week in the financial world. On Tuesday night, Hub received a call on his cell phone from the State Police. They said, "Mr. ________, are you missing a check book?" That's a question that will start your heart. Since I'm the family banker, this immediately went to me. I didn't understand as I keep a pretty good eye online of our accounts. Well, to make a long story short, wrong Mr. _______. But wait; it was our son. When he moved out from the girl, he took his things and moved into a house with some other misfits for a while. (Misfits is the nicest word that I can come up with. Coke whore first came to mind.) Anyway, he was just there for a few days and came to his senses. Went back though and everything he had there was gone. We're talking furniture, clothes, obviously checks, car keys, and even a car door that had been bought to work on his car. Very expensive lesson. Anyway, Hub told the police to lock up the people and throw away the key. The account had been closed long ago, so there were no repercussions there.
The next day, I checked our account on-line. I noted three charges from our debit card for purchases at a computer company .com amounting to about $400. Whoa! I called the company and they said that the orders were started in CA and were shipped to NH and PA. The items had already shipped so there was no stopping the order. They gave me the account number and marked the account as fraud. Not much help to me. Called the bank and they red carded my debit card so that it any other charges would be tagged. Still doesn't help me get back my $400. Went to the bank to start the process to "contest" the charges. The manager had to cut up my debit card. That hurt to watch. Especially since my new one hasn't come in yet. Then I had to go to the Police Station to file a report. The detective takes one look at my statement and cheerfully says "Oh, I ordered a computer from them." Congratulations. Did you use my card? He also let me know that probably not much would happen except show the bank that I am serious about getting my money back. Not what I wanted to hear, but I appreciate his honesty.
So what have we learned from this experience?
- Officer said that to use credit card versus debit card for online purchases. It is easier to get a credit issued than try to get money back.
- If you are trying to make a purchase online and there is an issue and it sends you back to the start to re-enter everything, stop right there. You can be being sent to a hacker's site and never even know it. (I actually had this happen 2-3 weeks ago, so I think this is when they got the numbers.)
- Don't let anyone else use a debit card with your name on it. The bank manager said that Visa may give us trouble because my husband had my card in his wallet for 2-3 days. I'm the only one that carries our debit card. We went out to eat the Sunday before and I didn't want to carry my purse. I gave it to him and he put it in his wallet. The restaurant even had him sign the ticket as sometimes happens when they run it through as a credit instead of a debit. Proof positive that he had it for Visa. Doesn't even matter that we are married and the card is on a joint account. Isn't that nuts?
- I hate mean, dishonest people.
Later.
4 comments:
Can you spell S-E-N-I-L-E? I just realized that I had shared my bank story already. Can you tell it is driving me nuts? So sorry.
You have been under a lot of stress, you deserve to get it off your chest as many times as you wish. I'm glad you are one less burden under the roof. Now remember our words for when #1 gets out "what you permit, you promote." I know he's your son, but you can not let even your own child jeopardize your home and family, financially, physically and emotionally. You wouldn't allow a stranger off the street or your enemy do some of the things he's done. Show him how much you love him by allowing him to grow up and face his problems on his own. He's created his life, so he's the one who has to live it. When it came to our daughter, I had to let the hubby (the strong one) be the one to make the decisions as to how we would help her. When she'd call and ask for money, I'd have to tell her that she would have to talk to Dad. She knew that he would give her the hard sell, so she would find her own solution to her problems, which usually meant working a double and not going out with friends or not coming home for a holiday. As adults we have to make hard decisions, so we have to let them be adults.
Jomama is right, tough love and all. I happen to be the heavy in our house, and I'm good with that. There always has to be a good cop/bad cop scenario.
I'm glad the chick is gone. It's one thing, dealing with your own child/adult but it's a totally different thing when you're dealing with someone else's child/adult.
My SIL says that when you shop online with a CC, you should use one with a low limit, that way if someone ever gets ahold of it, they can't wrack it up. I only shop at https sites. (The s stands for secure!) I just hate when people screw people over. It makes me crazy too. And I'm just as senile, so carry on! LOL!
I have never trusted debit cards or ATM cards, so we don't have them. This way the husband has to go to the bank to get cash—or get it from me. Much easier to manage. And no fees!
After you settle up the account mess, it sounds like things might be calming down at home. As long as you don't take on #1's problems, you might end up with far less drama and stress for a while. Here's wishing you well!
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