A Day of Freedom

This is the week we have been waiting for. On Friday, we will pick up our son and our family will start another new chapter.....all together again. I am excited and apprehensive at the same time. Hub is leaving Wednesday for a big business meeting. He got permission to leave early on Thursday and will fly down to Houston where we will meet him at the airport that night. Then on Friday morning, we will be sitting outside waiting for my baby to walk through the gates. You don't have a specific time. Just some time that day; hopefully morning. I'm sure that it will seem like forever. A bit like waiting for Santa to come. It will surely be a scene. Lots and lots of tears. Hub says that he wants to pick him up and carry him out. That could prove interesting with a 22 year old man. :)

This is the one time I will not get on to him for shooting the finger. As long as it is discreet enough not to get him in trouble. I may be doing it myself. What a trial this has been. Not that it was not deserved, but the society that lives within those walls is hellish. The evil community that breeds off of the weaker and destroys lives and families. Everyone in there is seeking a prey. The uniforms are just as bad. It is a nasty circle that leaves scars everywhere. They call the outside the "real world". How do you truly leave behind this "unreal world" behind? Although we hope that the lessons learned here are retained forever, how do you unlearn that everyone is not out to get you and that you yourself do not have to fight and use others to rise above? I cannot imagine what is in his soul right now. He says that he couldn't see or feel God in there. As much as that saddens me, I can understand that. How do we rekindle that faith? His faith in God. His faith in others? His faith in himself?

He has had 3-1/2 years of doing nothing. We call that rehabilitation? I'm sure at first that he will be so very hyper that we can't stand him. But after that, 3-1/2 years of sitting and sleeping definitely makes a habit. He is already so far behind on the learning curve. He has been reading. Go figure, the kid with a learning disability has been reading like crazy. Hopefully, he will pick that back up and not associate it with where he was. When I think of the small area that he has been living in....well, I can't think of it or really imagine how that would feel. Will he feel insecure in a big room; be able to sleep in a soft bed; be able to be in a crowd without jumping out of his skin?

How long will it take for the rest of us to truly feel "normal"? To have that "family" closeness? To not hide medications or valuables? To not feel the need to double check everything he says? Maybe that was our normal, but I pray for something else.

Lots of questions. The one thing that I do know is that I can't wait to put my arms around him and feel his cheek against mine. To tell him over and over again how much I love him. To see his beautiful blue eyes, dimples and Tom Cruise smile. To hear him sing. He loved to sing. He has a whole new and different world to explore. Younger brother is so anxious to show him the new video systems and to finally be able to beat him in a game. I love to see my sons doing something together. Even if it is a video game.

We celebrated Independence Day yesterday and gave honor to the day and the ones who have given and are giving so much to preserve freedom on our behalf. But on Friday, July 9th, my family will celebrate our own day of Freedom and Independence. Please say a little prayer.

Later.