My Ms M

Have you ever seen or spoken with someone and known that this would be the last time you would ever see or speak with them? I have had this happen a few times in my life. Not that it was some mysterious psychic connection. Some of these people were literally on their death beds. Like my aunt that passed away last January. Our family had totally lost connection with her and then I discovered her granddaughter on Facebook. I got to visit with her on the day that she died. I was named after her, spoiled by her and loved her dearly, yet lost precious time. I was the last to hold her hand. It was just she and I and I got to tell her how special she was.

When my mother was in a nursing home, her close friend and neighbor, Mrs. H, was there as well. They were in different buildings, but would go visit each other as long as they could and later I would wheel Mother down to see her or just go myself. Mrs H was the friend Mother could depend on whether she needed someone to watch me for a little while or watch the house when we were out of town. We did the same for her family. One day I was coming in to visit Mother and was stopped by another family friend who told me that Mrs. H was not doing well. I went down to her room to check on her and felt like I had stepped into a movie set for a 40's movie. She was alone in her room and with the head of her bed raised. The drapes were open and sunlight was pouring on her face. The sunshine and white sheets made her glow. I know that sounds weird, but seriously the woman was beautiful and glowing. I thought she was asleep and then she opened her eyes, gave me a sweet smile and called me by name. (Remember Scarlett & Melanie's death scene in "Gone With the Wind"? Do you hear the soft music playing?) We spoke for a little while and I told her how much I enjoyed coming to her home as a child and how much I loved her. When I left her room, I felt like something special was going on in there. It was. Mrs H died later that day.

Well, I think I told someone goodbye tonight. I haven't felt like sending out Christmas cards for the past few years. Too much stinkin' thinkin' going on here I am sorry to say. I mailed out 60 Christmas notes this past Thursday. This afternoon, I got two calls from people that I have known for probably 30 years and were thrilled to get a note and to know where we are now. One of them had been my mentor, substitute mother, colleague, confider, advisor and best friend. We met when we both had offices on the same floor of an office building. I was young, single and thought I had it all. She was a retired social worker that wanted something else to do and decided to go to work for an oil company. Everyone loved M. Her office was located close to the elevator and to the coffee shop and her door was always open. I'm sure it was a challenge to do her job as there was always someone sticking their head in to say hello. She worked for an old sourpuss that was her own age and she just laughed him off. He never even knew that behind the drapes that covered a fake window in her office, she had hung a poster of Tom Selleck. That was M and that was one of the reasons I loved her. When I started dating my Hub, he had to get her approval even before he was introduced to my parents. When we were first working on adoption, M was the first to write a reference letter for us and use her connections as a social worker. Anyway, M got my card today and gave me a call. Although she sounds the same with her laughter and deep Southern accent, M is now 90 and says that she is using a walker. She says the first thing that she pulls out every Christmas is a pillow that I made for her 25+ years ago that says "Joy Y'all". She hopes that her children will love it later and keep it out. She brought up the subject that she is now 90 and knows that things will be changing soon. She said that she made a deal with God to take her when he's ready. She just hopes that he takes her in an accident so that her sons will receive double insurance money. That's my M. Well, she told me not to worry about her. I told her that not too long ago, I had realized that I was someone's Miss M. There was a first year teacher at school that was a long way from home and we became friends. She wanted me to meet her new boyfriend and then fiance. Then she wanted to cry on my shoulder when it didn't work out. She is about the age that I was when I met M and I am getting closer to the age that M was. I am someone's M. I told her that was a big responsibility, but I'm trying to live up to her example.

So, anyway, I think I told someone goodbye tonight. We said all the things that you do just in case you never have another chance to say them. I feel so good about her. If you have not sent out Christmas greetings yet, throw some in the mail. You never know what blessings are out there looking for you.

Later, and just in case, Merry Christmas!