Things are still the same for our friend. His family is spending their days outside the room, praying for survival. The prognosis is still not good. One person can go in at a time but they can not touch him. He is still in a coma and on life support. The brain pressure has gone down just a little. There has been talk of trying to stimulate him a little and see what happens. Also, they talked of seeing if his lungs would kick in. Right now, that is just talk; they've done nothing. My brother got to go in the other night. Of course, he said that he was unrecognizable.
I keep putting myself in his mom's place. (I guess that's a weird quirk of mine, but that's how I deal with things. Unless it is actually happening to me; then, avoidance is the quirk.) They have already been told that what made him "him" is already gone. The only positive thing I've heard is that he may have a little sight. Earlier, they felt that the optic nerves were so damaged that there would be none. Would he be aware if he can see? Would there ever be any communication? Would he ever be more than a body? Only God knows. I would think that there would be some wrestling with these facts going on in the family.
As parents, there is so much moral, social, heart-led pressure that we would want our child with us "no matter what". We would be considered terrible, unworthy, selfish parents/people if we didn't. Right? But what about the child? IF he had a moment of realization would know that he is trapped in a hellous existence forever. What about the mother and father that will sacrifice their lives to keep a body clean and safe? What about a daughter that has to watch her parents continue to suffer and know that when they are gone that the mantra would pass to her? But we want him to be here no matter what or how. He's our son and brother. Right?
Having a child who has lived a hurtful, painful life seems to open up other mom's to some hard truths. I've had two different moms confess to me really hard mom secrets. One very close friend lost her son at 20. We met when our boys were both very small and often traded off babysitting. They bore the same name and both broke our hearts. One with alcohol and the other with drugs. Her son seemed to finally be on a more positive path, but one night by himself at his apartment, he drank until he passed out, vomited and choked to death. What a legacy. Anyway, one night his mom and I were talking about the boys and she said that I was the only one she could say this out loud to, but that it was a bit of a relief. It was always something with him; always waiting for the other shoe to fall. Wondering where he was or getting a call from the police or from jail. She knew that he too was miserable. Now at least he found peace. Another mother's son was taking a very, very similar path as ours. He was just about a year behind and going into a second rehab. She shared a conversation that they had. She told him that if this was the path that he felt he had to take, that she would rather have him dead. My husband was floored and thought she was heartless. I understood.
So I have lots of questions and viewpoints, yet I do realize that there is only one answer. The one that God has decided. It will be the best even if we don't see it. It sill just makes me wonder.
Later.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Prayer Request
Where do I start? I want to ask for your prayers and thoughts for a dear family that is living a total nightmare right now. We got word this morning that the 24 year old brother of our niece-in-law killed himself last night. He was upset over a girlfriend breakup, put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. His mother was home, heard the shot and held him while the ambulance came. They spent the night at the ER trying to stabilize so that his organs could be harvested and taking care of the "business" of donation. Then, they said goodbye to their son. They left early this morning to run home and shower and return to escort him to the funeral home.
Later this morning, things took a different path. The law says that there has to be a second opinion before organs can be donated. The second neurosurgeon decided that there was some, yet faint, brain activity. He was taken into surgery for several hours and large portions of his damaged brain was removed. He is now on life support. They said he did raise his hand to try to remove a throat tube. No way of knowing at this time how much activity is there.
What do you pray for now except "Thy will be done". I have been known to pray boldly and specifically for cures and recovery and jobs, etc. But now what? For this type of hell to go on for years? What path do you pray for?
This boy/man was so full of love and life. Always a smile. Always something funny to say and he said it with a marvelous English accent. He was singer for a band that seemed to finally be getting a little of a following. I remember dancing with him at his sister's wedding. He was 19 and wanted me to teach him the two-step. Didn't go to well, but he was fun. :) I remember how sweet it was for his band to play a set at this fabulous reception. I remember him singing to his sister. It was a very happy day.
My mind has been on his mom all day. How will she deal with the sound of that shot echoing in her head forever. We had become good friends with his parents as the nephew's wedding truly united two families. Wonderful people and so very much fun to be around. She and I clicked right off and we see them every time we go to visit my brother & family. They lived a life of privilege with love for others at the center. About a year ago, we went to see the new home that they had built. He is soon to retire and they decided to stay in Texas instead of moving back to England. They built a dream home to entertain family and friends. Not much of a dream home right now.
Anyway, thanks for letting me get some thoughts out. My heart is so heavy. Please pray for all of them. They will all need lots of prayer and compassion right now; whatever the turn out.
I think I will go hug my son now....go hug yours.
Later.
Later this morning, things took a different path. The law says that there has to be a second opinion before organs can be donated. The second neurosurgeon decided that there was some, yet faint, brain activity. He was taken into surgery for several hours and large portions of his damaged brain was removed. He is now on life support. They said he did raise his hand to try to remove a throat tube. No way of knowing at this time how much activity is there.
What do you pray for now except "Thy will be done". I have been known to pray boldly and specifically for cures and recovery and jobs, etc. But now what? For this type of hell to go on for years? What path do you pray for?
This boy/man was so full of love and life. Always a smile. Always something funny to say and he said it with a marvelous English accent. He was singer for a band that seemed to finally be getting a little of a following. I remember dancing with him at his sister's wedding. He was 19 and wanted me to teach him the two-step. Didn't go to well, but he was fun. :) I remember how sweet it was for his band to play a set at this fabulous reception. I remember him singing to his sister. It was a very happy day.
My mind has been on his mom all day. How will she deal with the sound of that shot echoing in her head forever. We had become good friends with his parents as the nephew's wedding truly united two families. Wonderful people and so very much fun to be around. She and I clicked right off and we see them every time we go to visit my brother & family. They lived a life of privilege with love for others at the center. About a year ago, we went to see the new home that they had built. He is soon to retire and they decided to stay in Texas instead of moving back to England. They built a dream home to entertain family and friends. Not much of a dream home right now.
Anyway, thanks for letting me get some thoughts out. My heart is so heavy. Please pray for all of them. They will all need lots of prayer and compassion right now; whatever the turn out.
I think I will go hug my son now....go hug yours.
Later.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Drama.
I have a confession to make. It's morning and I just had an egg.....followed by a snack size Hershey bar. I need an intervention with LHCA (Leftover Halloween Candy Anonymous). I feel so much better admitting that. Not really. I will probably have another one in a bit.
A lot of "busy" has been going on here. We got through the birthday party/family reunion/family zoo. It was fun and so good to see everyone (almost). My week consisted of (1)go to grocery store; (2) cook; (3) clean; (4) repeat. I don't know what I was thinking, but most people came in earlier than I had expected. Of course, that means more meals and entertaining. I stayed busy throwing frozen lasagnas in the oven, making homemade chili and cornbread, salads and sandwich trays, appetizers, and anything else easy to keep large groups fed. I was so glad that I had dinner catered the night of the party.
#1 son brought two 20-ish friends (a guy and a girl) with him to the party. Actually, they were here for 4 days. Everyone brought their laundry to wash here. Everyone was first on the spot when food was being served. Everyone left their towels and sometimes clothes in the bathroom. To be fair, his friends were good houseguests...to the best of their ability. They all stayed upstairs in the loft except for the constant trips back and forth to the back patio to smoke. :( I knew the girl from years past. She was a friend of a girl/slut that #1 was crazy about for years. She would came over to the house with her and was definitely the better of the two. Since then, she had married, had a baby, been deserted by husband and at one time was dancing to pay the bills. She wore Daisy Duke shorts with low cut tops showing her tattoos (and other things) the whole time she was here. I asked #1 if she had anything else to wear for the party, but he said that most of her clothes were stolen by a roommate recently. Everything she had was going to feed her baby. She really was a sad case. Very sweet but definitely not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Couldn't help but like her and also feel sorry for her. I decided to take her to Goodwill and buy her some clothes, but I'm sad to say that when I could finally get away, they were leaving.
These guys caused plenty of drama the night of the birthday party. One of our nephews came who is 32 with the maturity and mentality of maybe a 15 year old. He decided to just "crash" here instead of going to the hotel room that his mom had reserved for him. (Not sure why I didn't go to the hotel and use his room.) He did fit in well with our three 20-ish people; but he did add fuel to the flame....literally. During the party, I looked out the window to see a very large fire on my back patio. I ran out to see my chimnea crammed with wood sticking out of the top and burning.....on my COVERED back patio. The four stooges were just sitting there admiring their work not seeing anything wrong with this plan. They never got up. Hub came out and helped to move it just past the roof and then went back in. I think everyone thought that I was mad and upset enough that they should stay out of my way. They were probably right. It had been a stressful day. Anyway, big sparks are still flying out the top and going toward the roof and everywhere else. I was fit to be tied. I got the garden hose and started trying to put it out. It was a really hot fire and I couldn't understand why it was so hard to get out. There was a thick column of black smoke that just kept coming. I found out later that Einstein had added some diesel fuel to the chimnea to get it started. They were using treated 2X4's and not the kindling that we had for it. The scary thing is that Einstein is not only is 32 but he owns a large farm/horse ranch. (Brother-in-law left the kids really well off.) Out of everyone, he should known better. (If he only had a brain.)
Late that night after everyone had gone to bed, I was cleaning up the kitchen and started hearing yelling upstairs. I could hear a girl crying and my son yelling to everyone to get the ____ out of his (?) house. I was afraid that it was close to getting physical and woke up Hub who ran upstairs in his undies. (Never a dull moment.) I told the girl to come downstairs and talk to me. She's crying about how she and the guy were breaking up and she didn't know what to do. #1 came down and put in his two-cents. The other boy decided to get in his truck and leave. He was drunk and it had been raining and he slid into a ditch not too far from the house. He got his truck out just as a policeman came by. He just told the boy to be careful going home. I'm sure it was a funny picture as he was wearing my sons pajamas. (Sock monkey pajamas that I had bought him one Christmas.) He came back and was crying, too. He loved her. (Oh, Brother. Where's Hub you ask? Back in bed.) Finally at around 3 A.M., I called a Come-To-Jesus meeting on the front patio with the three 20-ishs. Our nephew never came down. (Maybe he does have a little bit of a brain.) I got on to all of them because they had been drinking all day long and were just acting stupid. I reminded the girl that this behavior could easily cost her custody of her son. #1 and the other boy are also crazy about the baby so I told them that they owed it to him also to set an example and to not make it an unsafe, unhealthy place for him. They had formed a bit of a "family unit" and they can't forget it. Finally, I sent them all to bed and told them not to talk about any of it until the next day.
At 7:15 the next morning, we were awaken by the two cousins from Indianapolis who stopped by to tell us goodbye. (Good thing I am crazy about them. I was really sleepy.) I opened the back door to let the dogs out and found our nephew outside asleep in two chairs pulled together. He came in for coffee and was talking at Hub around the breakfast table. (I say "at" because that's how he rolls. He never shuts up and knows everything.) I curled up in a chair in the den, but could hear. He said that he went out there after the drama. He was complaining that it had started raining a bit so he had to pull in closer to the house. Then, he started feeling water in his face. The sprinklers were going off. See! There is justice in this world. I loved it!!!!
Later.
A lot of "busy" has been going on here. We got through the birthday party/family reunion/family zoo. It was fun and so good to see everyone (almost). My week consisted of (1)go to grocery store; (2) cook; (3) clean; (4) repeat. I don't know what I was thinking, but most people came in earlier than I had expected. Of course, that means more meals and entertaining. I stayed busy throwing frozen lasagnas in the oven, making homemade chili and cornbread, salads and sandwich trays, appetizers, and anything else easy to keep large groups fed. I was so glad that I had dinner catered the night of the party.
#1 son brought two 20-ish friends (a guy and a girl) with him to the party. Actually, they were here for 4 days. Everyone brought their laundry to wash here. Everyone was first on the spot when food was being served. Everyone left their towels and sometimes clothes in the bathroom. To be fair, his friends were good houseguests...to the best of their ability. They all stayed upstairs in the loft except for the constant trips back and forth to the back patio to smoke. :( I knew the girl from years past. She was a friend of a girl/slut that #1 was crazy about for years. She would came over to the house with her and was definitely the better of the two. Since then, she had married, had a baby, been deserted by husband and at one time was dancing to pay the bills. She wore Daisy Duke shorts with low cut tops showing her tattoos (and other things) the whole time she was here. I asked #1 if she had anything else to wear for the party, but he said that most of her clothes were stolen by a roommate recently. Everything she had was going to feed her baby. She really was a sad case. Very sweet but definitely not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Couldn't help but like her and also feel sorry for her. I decided to take her to Goodwill and buy her some clothes, but I'm sad to say that when I could finally get away, they were leaving.
These guys caused plenty of drama the night of the birthday party. One of our nephews came who is 32 with the maturity and mentality of maybe a 15 year old. He decided to just "crash" here instead of going to the hotel room that his mom had reserved for him. (Not sure why I didn't go to the hotel and use his room.) He did fit in well with our three 20-ish people; but he did add fuel to the flame....literally. During the party, I looked out the window to see a very large fire on my back patio. I ran out to see my chimnea crammed with wood sticking out of the top and burning.....on my COVERED back patio. The four stooges were just sitting there admiring their work not seeing anything wrong with this plan. They never got up. Hub came out and helped to move it just past the roof and then went back in. I think everyone thought that I was mad and upset enough that they should stay out of my way. They were probably right. It had been a stressful day. Anyway, big sparks are still flying out the top and going toward the roof and everywhere else. I was fit to be tied. I got the garden hose and started trying to put it out. It was a really hot fire and I couldn't understand why it was so hard to get out. There was a thick column of black smoke that just kept coming. I found out later that Einstein had added some diesel fuel to the chimnea to get it started. They were using treated 2X4's and not the kindling that we had for it. The scary thing is that Einstein is not only is 32 but he owns a large farm/horse ranch. (Brother-in-law left the kids really well off.) Out of everyone, he should known better. (If he only had a brain.)
Late that night after everyone had gone to bed, I was cleaning up the kitchen and started hearing yelling upstairs. I could hear a girl crying and my son yelling to everyone to get the ____ out of his (?) house. I was afraid that it was close to getting physical and woke up Hub who ran upstairs in his undies. (Never a dull moment.) I told the girl to come downstairs and talk to me. She's crying about how she and the guy were breaking up and she didn't know what to do. #1 came down and put in his two-cents. The other boy decided to get in his truck and leave. He was drunk and it had been raining and he slid into a ditch not too far from the house. He got his truck out just as a policeman came by. He just told the boy to be careful going home. I'm sure it was a funny picture as he was wearing my sons pajamas. (Sock monkey pajamas that I had bought him one Christmas.) He came back and was crying, too. He loved her. (Oh, Brother. Where's Hub you ask? Back in bed.) Finally at around 3 A.M., I called a Come-To-Jesus meeting on the front patio with the three 20-ishs. Our nephew never came down. (Maybe he does have a little bit of a brain.) I got on to all of them because they had been drinking all day long and were just acting stupid. I reminded the girl that this behavior could easily cost her custody of her son. #1 and the other boy are also crazy about the baby so I told them that they owed it to him also to set an example and to not make it an unsafe, unhealthy place for him. They had formed a bit of a "family unit" and they can't forget it. Finally, I sent them all to bed and told them not to talk about any of it until the next day.
At 7:15 the next morning, we were awaken by the two cousins from Indianapolis who stopped by to tell us goodbye. (Good thing I am crazy about them. I was really sleepy.) I opened the back door to let the dogs out and found our nephew outside asleep in two chairs pulled together. He came in for coffee and was talking at Hub around the breakfast table. (I say "at" because that's how he rolls. He never shuts up and knows everything.) I curled up in a chair in the den, but could hear. He said that he went out there after the drama. He was complaining that it had started raining a bit so he had to pull in closer to the house. Then, he started feeling water in his face. The sprinklers were going off. See! There is justice in this world. I loved it!!!!
Later.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Countdown
This time next week, it will all be over. Hub's big birthday party is next weekend. I'm really looking forward to it but also feeling the self-imposed pressure that we women seem to thrive on. Lots to do between now and then.
My #2 son flew back this morning from his weekend in Texas. He had a great time. It was just right. A little taste of independence to celebrate being 13. Now he is planning all kinds of back and forth trips. We may have created a flying monster.
Hub had a flight out this morning as well. Turned out that our son got off of the same plane that he was going to get on. Can't believe that it turned out so well. I'm scheduled to work the book fair at school tomorrow and then finish up the house, laundry and grocery shopping. The first guest flies in Wednesday morning and Hub flies back Wednesday night. Then we go back to the airport late Friday night, Saturday to a private airport and trips back to both airports on Sunday. We have a couple of families arriving by car on Saturday along with #1 son and his entourage. (That's a whole other story.) Brother-in-law leaves Tuesday night; Hub on Wednesday, and me......I see a glass of wine and a long jacuzzi Wednesday afternoon. Also, we want to do family portraits this weekend since Hub's daughter-who-never-sees-us will be here. I'm working on that, too, but the scheduling is getting really tricky.
I still can't get the Chilean miners off of my mind. When this drama started back in August, I just kept trying to imagine how you could possibly get through that. I'm HIGHLY claustrophobic and it freaks me out. Even the restraint of the cast made me get my weird on. The whole thing just seemed impossible. The fact that they found out they were alive 17 days later. Then when they estimated that it would be Christmas before they could get them out! Un-imagianable! Of course, I watched the rescue late into the night and the next day. What a beautiful thing. It was also so beautiful that for just a little while the world was one together, holding their collective breaths, and celebrating each man's freedom. I read today about the men returning to their homes of poverty. One family lined the street with white bags filled with air because they could not afford balloons. Can't you just see the Wal-Mart bags waving? These men have to be so very changed on the inside, but now what do they do. Many will probably return to the mines due to necessity. Can you imagine? They kept talking about what celebrities they will be, etc. I hope that there is help for them financially, spiritually, mentally, etc. Of course, there are going to be the blood suckers coming to take advantage. I heard that they realized that someone was working to get them out, that they made a pact to never tell what happened during that first 17 days. I would be very surprised if that holds up. Someone will get to one of them and offer "their price" and they will tell. I'm as curious as anyone else. I just hate it when others prey on the weak.
We moved to Midland, Texas soon after the "Baby Jessica" incident. For those who might not remember, she was an 18 month old baby that fell down an open 8" well pipe in a relative's back yard. She was down 22 feet for 58 hours and they had to drill a parallel hole and then a horizontal crossover through rock to get her. It seemed like people across the country held their breath for her as well. Of course, Oprah came with everyone else. I recently saw an interview with her. She is now 24 and a mother herself. They showed her taking her baby, that is about how old she was then, back to the scene to see the capped off well. She's had 15 surgeries to repair her injuries. Living in Midland, there was always someone who knew the family or something about the situation. (Of course, we had to drive by the house.) The parents broke up soon after that. There was talk of the mother going through a lot of the donations frivolously. (There is still suppose to be a rather healthy trust fund that she should get soon.) Several of the rescuers had serious post tramatic issues after that. The man who actually pulled her up committed suicide. She says that she doesn't remember any of it. (Thank you, God.) It just makes me wonder what path those associated with the Chilean miner story will take. Life can take strange turns.
Later.
My #2 son flew back this morning from his weekend in Texas. He had a great time. It was just right. A little taste of independence to celebrate being 13. Now he is planning all kinds of back and forth trips. We may have created a flying monster.
Hub had a flight out this morning as well. Turned out that our son got off of the same plane that he was going to get on. Can't believe that it turned out so well. I'm scheduled to work the book fair at school tomorrow and then finish up the house, laundry and grocery shopping. The first guest flies in Wednesday morning and Hub flies back Wednesday night. Then we go back to the airport late Friday night, Saturday to a private airport and trips back to both airports on Sunday. We have a couple of families arriving by car on Saturday along with #1 son and his entourage. (That's a whole other story.) Brother-in-law leaves Tuesday night; Hub on Wednesday, and me......I see a glass of wine and a long jacuzzi Wednesday afternoon. Also, we want to do family portraits this weekend since Hub's daughter-who-never-sees-us will be here. I'm working on that, too, but the scheduling is getting really tricky.
I still can't get the Chilean miners off of my mind. When this drama started back in August, I just kept trying to imagine how you could possibly get through that. I'm HIGHLY claustrophobic and it freaks me out. Even the restraint of the cast made me get my weird on. The whole thing just seemed impossible. The fact that they found out they were alive 17 days later. Then when they estimated that it would be Christmas before they could get them out! Un-imagianable! Of course, I watched the rescue late into the night and the next day. What a beautiful thing. It was also so beautiful that for just a little while the world was one together, holding their collective breaths, and celebrating each man's freedom. I read today about the men returning to their homes of poverty. One family lined the street with white bags filled with air because they could not afford balloons. Can't you just see the Wal-Mart bags waving? These men have to be so very changed on the inside, but now what do they do. Many will probably return to the mines due to necessity. Can you imagine? They kept talking about what celebrities they will be, etc. I hope that there is help for them financially, spiritually, mentally, etc. Of course, there are going to be the blood suckers coming to take advantage. I heard that they realized that someone was working to get them out, that they made a pact to never tell what happened during that first 17 days. I would be very surprised if that holds up. Someone will get to one of them and offer "their price" and they will tell. I'm as curious as anyone else. I just hate it when others prey on the weak.
We moved to Midland, Texas soon after the "Baby Jessica" incident. For those who might not remember, she was an 18 month old baby that fell down an open 8" well pipe in a relative's back yard. She was down 22 feet for 58 hours and they had to drill a parallel hole and then a horizontal crossover through rock to get her. It seemed like people across the country held their breath for her as well. Of course, Oprah came with everyone else. I recently saw an interview with her. She is now 24 and a mother herself. They showed her taking her baby, that is about how old she was then, back to the scene to see the capped off well. She's had 15 surgeries to repair her injuries. Living in Midland, there was always someone who knew the family or something about the situation. (Of course, we had to drive by the house.) The parents broke up soon after that. There was talk of the mother going through a lot of the donations frivolously. (There is still suppose to be a rather healthy trust fund that she should get soon.) Several of the rescuers had serious post tramatic issues after that. The man who actually pulled her up committed suicide. She says that she doesn't remember any of it. (Thank you, God.) It just makes me wonder what path those associated with the Chilean miner story will take. Life can take strange turns.
Later.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I talked to my friend.
I'm finally alone in my house for a few hours. Is that time really important to you, too? There has been someone, or many someones, here 24 hours a day for several days now. I just want a little time to do things in my order or way and not be interrupted. Not that the telephone doesn't ring and change plans. Not that I am not easily distracted with things like being at the computer right now. This is my "me time" and I'm finding it more and more important. I love my family, but I need to be alone with myself to have a conversation with myself. Sometimes even out loud, but that's another story.
Son #2 is O-fficially 13 years old now. It just sounds wrong to say "teen" at the end of his age. He is really proud of it and he has been busy reminding us that he is a teenager now and with that comes all sorts of new freedoms. Not always but he thinks it should. He invited 3 boys to spend the night last Friday. Only 1 could due to a non-custodial parent visit and the fact we're new and other parents don't know anything about us. I'm really good with that. I am more likely to agree to him going somewhere that I know the parents think that through. The one boy that could stay is living with his grandparents due to his mom's drug usage. He was very open about all of this and touched my heart. He kept saying that he wanted to stay here and that he had lived in the ghetto. He is a very charming, witty, funny kid. I'm sure he is covering up a lot. I hope he comes back often. We took them to a movie. We ended up having to see a more immature cartoon movie as one of the boys was not allowed to see PG-13 unless his parents were there. (Not surprisingly, it was the same boy that was not allowed to spend the night.) The boys were so funny at the movie. Hub and I laughed so hard at them. #2 was mortified when I told him that not only were we going to the same movie, but that we were going to sit in the back and make out. We did end up having to go to the same movie due to the time frame, but they sat in the back and we were told to sit up front where they could see us. They all seemed to have a great time. The next morning, we let #2 and his friend blow up the last of the 4th of July fireworks to celebrate his birthday. (Wouldn't you like to be our neighbor?) I think that the boy that couldn't spend the night will be allowed to next time. His mom chatted for about 30 minutes when she picked him up; asked if we would like to come to dinner sometime; called Sunday wanting to meet us for lunch but I didn't get the message in time, and her son has asked to spend the night this weekend and has also invited #2 to go with his family to the State Fair. I think we've been approved now. :)
I did had a totally high point this week. Rox and I had a marathon phone conversation on Tuesday. Don't worry about the world. We got all of the world's problems solved. You're very welcome. :) Rox, I TOTALLY enjoyed our visit. Thanks for calling and I want to do that again soon.
It is so easy to chat with a "intimate stranger" like a serious blog buddy. We've have only talked live one other time, but have so much more of an insight into each other due to blogs and e-mails. When I think about the fact that she, and some of you, know me so much more intimately than most of the people in my daily life, it just sounds a little strange. Not to sound like I'm not really, really grateful for these cherished friendships, it's just that I'm thinking about that fact. At this particular time, I don't have any close, close personal friends in my daily, reach-out-and-touch life. (Except for Hub, of course.) I move; they move, friendships tend to change. Would I have different relationships in my life if there was no "social network"? Anywho, this is just a strange little place that my mind wandered to today. Thanks for being my intimate, internet friends.
Big hugs to all.
Later.
Son #2 is O-fficially 13 years old now. It just sounds wrong to say "teen" at the end of his age. He is really proud of it and he has been busy reminding us that he is a teenager now and with that comes all sorts of new freedoms. Not always but he thinks it should. He invited 3 boys to spend the night last Friday. Only 1 could due to a non-custodial parent visit and the fact we're new and other parents don't know anything about us. I'm really good with that. I am more likely to agree to him going somewhere that I know the parents think that through. The one boy that could stay is living with his grandparents due to his mom's drug usage. He was very open about all of this and touched my heart. He kept saying that he wanted to stay here and that he had lived in the ghetto. He is a very charming, witty, funny kid. I'm sure he is covering up a lot. I hope he comes back often. We took them to a movie. We ended up having to see a more immature cartoon movie as one of the boys was not allowed to see PG-13 unless his parents were there. (Not surprisingly, it was the same boy that was not allowed to spend the night.) The boys were so funny at the movie. Hub and I laughed so hard at them. #2 was mortified when I told him that not only were we going to the same movie, but that we were going to sit in the back and make out. We did end up having to go to the same movie due to the time frame, but they sat in the back and we were told to sit up front where they could see us. They all seemed to have a great time. The next morning, we let #2 and his friend blow up the last of the 4th of July fireworks to celebrate his birthday. (Wouldn't you like to be our neighbor?) I think that the boy that couldn't spend the night will be allowed to next time. His mom chatted for about 30 minutes when she picked him up; asked if we would like to come to dinner sometime; called Sunday wanting to meet us for lunch but I didn't get the message in time, and her son has asked to spend the night this weekend and has also invited #2 to go with his family to the State Fair. I think we've been approved now. :)
I did had a totally high point this week. Rox and I had a marathon phone conversation on Tuesday. Don't worry about the world. We got all of the world's problems solved. You're very welcome. :) Rox, I TOTALLY enjoyed our visit. Thanks for calling and I want to do that again soon.
It is so easy to chat with a "intimate stranger" like a serious blog buddy. We've have only talked live one other time, but have so much more of an insight into each other due to blogs and e-mails. When I think about the fact that she, and some of you, know me so much more intimately than most of the people in my daily life, it just sounds a little strange. Not to sound like I'm not really, really grateful for these cherished friendships, it's just that I'm thinking about that fact. At this particular time, I don't have any close, close personal friends in my daily, reach-out-and-touch life. (Except for Hub, of course.) I move; they move, friendships tend to change. Would I have different relationships in my life if there was no "social network"? Anywho, this is just a strange little place that my mind wandered to today. Thanks for being my intimate, internet friends.
Big hugs to all.
Later.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Change, Change, Change
Change is the only thing that is constant. Isn't that just profound. The rules keep changing. Not even the characters stay the same. How am I suppose to keep up?
Okay, so now I'm distracted a bit. Justine Bateman just came on TV. Where did that teenage face of hers go? She's looking really old! She would probably say the same thing about me.....if she saw me.....and if she knew me. Oh, well! Now where was I?
Change - Son #1 decided that he wants to go back to Texas to live. Sound familiar? He has been out less than 3 months and this is the 2nd time he's made this decision. This does give us a bit of a breather for which I should be grateful. You are always on guard as to what will happen the next minute when he is around. Hubby has a big birthday toward the end of the month and a lot of family is coming in for it. Hub keeps saying that all he wants is for all of his kids to be here. Anyone want to take a bet as to whether son #1 will decide he wants to hang out here for awhile after the birthday? Actually, Hub seems to have his eyes a little more open this time. Now if we can just keep him from blinking... He finally seems to be seeing how the boy/man has been using him. We've got to back off. We are not helping him.
I really think that there is a girl in Texas that still has quite a hold on our son. He went to high school with her and he was obsessed with her. This girl's insecurities are so obvious and she will do anything for male attention. Anything! She collected boys like a charm bracelet. Our son was so very drawn to her and she wouldn't let him go; not even when she did not want him. I always had the fear that they will end up together. So many times I prayed "God, please don't make me have to love this girl". I thought that I had dodged the bullet as she had a baby a couple of years ago never wrote our son or anything. I thought that I heard that she had married but turns out I was wrong. Son #1 thinks her baby girl is just the best. Oh, brother! Oh, and if that isn't enough, this girl has dropped out of college and is a go-go dancer (according to our son) in a club. Do they even have go-go dancers anymore? I'm thinking that any dancing that she is doing has a pole and tassels in the act. Did I tell you that she was a really nice girl and how much I like her? I didn't? Guess not.
Next week, we will have a teenager in our family again. My baby is turning 13. Really can't believe it although he is developing a bit of the attitude. Why didn't I just freeze him at five years old? I miss that little guy. He thought I was fabulous! Now, we are starting the "don't let anyone know that I have parents" stage. Yuck! He's having 2-3 boys over tomorrow night. For his birthday, I have made arrangements for him to go back to Texas and spend a weekend with his best friend. I can't wait to tell him. He will be so excited. He will be flying by himself for the first time. (Scary for me.) His friend's mom seems to really be looking forward to it. It is such a blessing to have another family love your child. His friend already has a ticket to fly up here Thanksgiving and then we will take him back. Our son has just been missing his old friends so much lately that I thought that this was the best gift I could give him.
The weather is finally getting cooler. It has been absolutely beautiful. The trees are just beginning to change color just a little. I can't wait for Autumn! At least my hubby had the good sense to be born in the Fall. We have family coming from all four directions: Charlotte, NC, Houston, San Francisco and maybe Indianapolis. It should be beautiful when they are here!
Well, I have one more load of wash to get started and then I'm going to bed. What a glamorous life I live! (Not.)
Later.
Okay, so now I'm distracted a bit. Justine Bateman just came on TV. Where did that teenage face of hers go? She's looking really old! She would probably say the same thing about me.....if she saw me.....and if she knew me. Oh, well! Now where was I?
Change - Son #1 decided that he wants to go back to Texas to live. Sound familiar? He has been out less than 3 months and this is the 2nd time he's made this decision. This does give us a bit of a breather for which I should be grateful. You are always on guard as to what will happen the next minute when he is around. Hubby has a big birthday toward the end of the month and a lot of family is coming in for it. Hub keeps saying that all he wants is for all of his kids to be here. Anyone want to take a bet as to whether son #1 will decide he wants to hang out here for awhile after the birthday? Actually, Hub seems to have his eyes a little more open this time. Now if we can just keep him from blinking... He finally seems to be seeing how the boy/man has been using him. We've got to back off. We are not helping him.
I really think that there is a girl in Texas that still has quite a hold on our son. He went to high school with her and he was obsessed with her. This girl's insecurities are so obvious and she will do anything for male attention. Anything! She collected boys like a charm bracelet. Our son was so very drawn to her and she wouldn't let him go; not even when she did not want him. I always had the fear that they will end up together. So many times I prayed "God, please don't make me have to love this girl". I thought that I had dodged the bullet as she had a baby a couple of years ago never wrote our son or anything. I thought that I heard that she had married but turns out I was wrong. Son #1 thinks her baby girl is just the best. Oh, brother! Oh, and if that isn't enough, this girl has dropped out of college and is a go-go dancer (according to our son) in a club. Do they even have go-go dancers anymore? I'm thinking that any dancing that she is doing has a pole and tassels in the act. Did I tell you that she was a really nice girl and how much I like her? I didn't? Guess not.
Next week, we will have a teenager in our family again. My baby is turning 13. Really can't believe it although he is developing a bit of the attitude. Why didn't I just freeze him at five years old? I miss that little guy. He thought I was fabulous! Now, we are starting the "don't let anyone know that I have parents" stage. Yuck! He's having 2-3 boys over tomorrow night. For his birthday, I have made arrangements for him to go back to Texas and spend a weekend with his best friend. I can't wait to tell him. He will be so excited. He will be flying by himself for the first time. (Scary for me.) His friend's mom seems to really be looking forward to it. It is such a blessing to have another family love your child. His friend already has a ticket to fly up here Thanksgiving and then we will take him back. Our son has just been missing his old friends so much lately that I thought that this was the best gift I could give him.
The weather is finally getting cooler. It has been absolutely beautiful. The trees are just beginning to change color just a little. I can't wait for Autumn! At least my hubby had the good sense to be born in the Fall. We have family coming from all four directions: Charlotte, NC, Houston, San Francisco and maybe Indianapolis. It should be beautiful when they are here!
Well, I have one more load of wash to get started and then I'm going to bed. What a glamorous life I live! (Not.)
Later.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Best Laid Plans
Like most moms who work in the home, I suffer for the syndrome that my plans are not always/usually my own or my priority. When you work outside the home, we tend to be more like the hubs. (Sorry guys!) It will have to wait until after work...unless it just can't.
I do take ownership of letting myself get distracted. This blog is a great example this morning. Hub is driving son to workshop and I have laundry that really must be done in lieu of nakedness. But at this moment, this is what I want to do.
I was complaining/whining to Hub last night about how I get really frustrated at the way I tend to handle stress and lots of issues to deal with at one time. I tend to freeze and shut down. It is VERY ineffective. I took a test yesterday that they were talking about on one of the doctor TV shows (Oz, Phil, etc.) According to this very scientific test, I probably am ADD. Not really surprised, as I self-diagnosed myself years ago. Just wish that I had the hyperactivity that sometimes goes with it. For years, I worked daily with affirming coping skills with #1 son to help him learn to adapt to his world. I need to take my own advice.
Last Friday, I was on the phone getting directions from the insurance investigator about what he needed me to do now regarding the stolen car. (Did I ever mention that they had found the car and it had been wrecked?) I was taking down a long list of names and fax numbers and what crazy things that all of these people need. The school called and said that #2 son was in the office from football practice complaining about an arm injury and that I needed to come get him. After 7 hours in the hospital emergency room, it was deemed that his wrist was broken. He was splinted up and told to get to an ortho doc in a few days. (Same E.R. room, same E.R. doc, and same ortho doc that I saw a few weeks ago for myself.) We went on Monday and a cast was put on his arm. He has been in a lot of pain stayed home another day. On Friday, another cast was put on as swelling was still going down and his first cast was getting too loose. It has been something like that every, single day. All things that need to be done. Just little pains in my bum.
I finally set up a local bank account this week. I didn't want to change until my direct deposits from the school district were done. No more checks from them now. :( While I was in the bank, I noticed a sign for a Financial Services Representative. (In other words, teller.) The girl that was setting up my accounts asked me if I worked and then started talking it up with me. She told me how to apply and all about the job. I did look into it and filled out an online application. I had to go back later and she told me that she had mentioned me to her branch manager. Anyway, things look a "bit" promising. Not sure what this will mean without a second car and getting Andrew to workshop and hopefully, to a job. Working is good for me, but I feel like I am still recovering from this summer.
Also, I finally got a new driver's license. I have been renewing my license for the last 10 years and have not had a new picture taken. OMG. My mother's picture is now on my driver's license. The last 10 years have really taken their toll. REALLY depressing. I'm going to lose weight; let my hair grow; get a face lift (maybe not) and then go have my picture retaken. Vanity!
Well I am going to force myself to be productive and focused; at least this morning. I am having lunch with a new friend. A fun distraction.
Have a great weekend!
Later.
Now before you get on to me for making such sexist statements, remember that the opinions expressed here are strictly the opinions and observations of the writer from her own crazy life. Right, wrong or otherwise, this is my reality.
I do take ownership of letting myself get distracted. This blog is a great example this morning. Hub is driving son to workshop and I have laundry that really must be done in lieu of nakedness. But at this moment, this is what I want to do.
I was complaining/whining to Hub last night about how I get really frustrated at the way I tend to handle stress and lots of issues to deal with at one time. I tend to freeze and shut down. It is VERY ineffective. I took a test yesterday that they were talking about on one of the doctor TV shows (Oz, Phil, etc.) According to this very scientific test, I probably am ADD. Not really surprised, as I self-diagnosed myself years ago. Just wish that I had the hyperactivity that sometimes goes with it. For years, I worked daily with affirming coping skills with #1 son to help him learn to adapt to his world. I need to take my own advice.
Last Friday, I was on the phone getting directions from the insurance investigator about what he needed me to do now regarding the stolen car. (Did I ever mention that they had found the car and it had been wrecked?) I was taking down a long list of names and fax numbers and what crazy things that all of these people need. The school called and said that #2 son was in the office from football practice complaining about an arm injury and that I needed to come get him. After 7 hours in the hospital emergency room, it was deemed that his wrist was broken. He was splinted up and told to get to an ortho doc in a few days. (Same E.R. room, same E.R. doc, and same ortho doc that I saw a few weeks ago for myself.) We went on Monday and a cast was put on his arm. He has been in a lot of pain stayed home another day. On Friday, another cast was put on as swelling was still going down and his first cast was getting too loose. It has been something like that every, single day. All things that need to be done. Just little pains in my bum.
I finally set up a local bank account this week. I didn't want to change until my direct deposits from the school district were done. No more checks from them now. :( While I was in the bank, I noticed a sign for a Financial Services Representative. (In other words, teller.) The girl that was setting up my accounts asked me if I worked and then started talking it up with me. She told me how to apply and all about the job. I did look into it and filled out an online application. I had to go back later and she told me that she had mentioned me to her branch manager. Anyway, things look a "bit" promising. Not sure what this will mean without a second car and getting Andrew to workshop and hopefully, to a job. Working is good for me, but I feel like I am still recovering from this summer.
Also, I finally got a new driver's license. I have been renewing my license for the last 10 years and have not had a new picture taken. OMG. My mother's picture is now on my driver's license. The last 10 years have really taken their toll. REALLY depressing. I'm going to lose weight; let my hair grow; get a face lift (maybe not) and then go have my picture retaken. Vanity!
Well I am going to force myself to be productive and focused; at least this morning. I am having lunch with a new friend. A fun distraction.
Have a great weekend!
Later.
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