My friend has cancer.

My friend has the big "C". Challenge? Confusion? Cause? Crusade? Crud? Cowlick? Yes to all, except maybe cowlick. My friend has cancer. Not the words that anyone wants to hear. But what do you do? Cry? Of course. Be sad and then mad. Yep! Talk it out with friends and family to try to make sense of this and then comfort and encourage them? That's what we do. We are women...hear us roar. We may bitch a little, or a lot. But YES, we roar.

My friend is a beautiful woman. Will she lose the eyes that have such a beautiful vision of the world? No. Will she lose the ears that listen to others wanting to understand their position? Seriously? She's not a squeeze toy that the eyes pop out when the pressure is on.  She's a woman.

Will she lose her sense of humor? Probably some days. She is such a positive person, that I don't expect it to be many. Besides, she has a host of strange friends to keep her smiling. How can you not smile. We love her. Besides, she's a woman. That's what she does.

Will she lose that beautiful "longer" hair? 'Fraid so. But you know, I hear bald is the new black. (Boy was that lame! Sorry.) Anyway, scarves are totally chic now days and wow is there a beautiful selection. Don't forget wigs! Black women have rocked them for years. You can always go check out the Kim Zolciak line of wigs. (If you don't know who that is, check out the "Real Housewives of Atlanta". Just don't copy her boob job. Please!) Personally, I have always loved seeing women just go au naturelle with their heads though. They look beautiful and strong and free. Besides, bald is beautiful. Why should only the men get the good stuff. Bald IS beautiful. Recognize this beautiful head?

Will she lose a breast?  Yep.  A friend of mine has a t-shirt that says "Save the Ta-Ta's".   Wonder if we could find one that reads "Save the Ta-Ta"?  I'm just talking out loud here.  Boobs are so over rated.  For goodness sake.  You also call a stupid person a "boob".   Have you ever been running on the beach and have those things bouncing up and down?   Me neither, but I bet it hurts.   I have sat in the massage chair while getting a pedicure and looked down to see the glands shaking like Jello.  Not attractive. 

Anywho, this woman is a hero.   Not because she has cancer right now.  That part sucks.  But because she is smart, strong, healthy and a spitfire.   She will soon be past this and encouraging and helping other women on this journey.  She's a Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister and faithful friend.  Yep, my friend has cancer.   But that doesn't define her.

Later.

I'm off to join the circus.

"Goodbye" she said. "I'm off to join the circus."

This is the cover graphic I added to my computer case. Like it? I found it a few months ago and thought it was totally me. It does make me smile.

I took my son to register for school yesterday. Is the summer break actually almost over? We have crammed so much into the last couple of months. What happened to the lazy days of summer. I sure could use one...or seven.

On another note, we went to see "Cowboys and Aliens" yesterday afternoon. I had really looked forward to it. With Indiana Jones and James Bond in it, how could it not be great? Disappointment. We went with several members of my son's youth group. Only the younger teens actually liked it. Great company; not so great flick. That's my review anyway.

So yesterday I wrote about a pretend (soap opera) life. Today, the ugly truth. #1 son had surgery on his hand. Really concerned about him and pain meds. He does need some, but he is an addict. Also, he is in need of money. He has been hitting us up and trying to play both of us. That's always fun. He got in his car the other night (that he doesn't have a license to drive due to two DUIs), ran over something, bent two rims and lost a tire. He got into a fight and messed up his splint/cast. He took it off himself. The doctor had told him how important it was to keep it still and not re-tear the ligament. The house that they rented is in a tough part of town. With his big mouth, things are not going to well there either. This past weekend emotions ran high. He had all kinds of plans running from moving to Minnesota to live with his birth-grandfather that he has spoken on the phone once with; calling a cousin and asking for a gun; looking for multiple AA meetings to go to; to going back to an employer who used him before and still owes him money, etc. The AA meetings was the only idea that was reasonable. I just hope his intentions are pure and that he will follow through.

I wrote that I was tagging along with hub on a business trip. We left last Sunday and had a nice trip. I accompanied him to a couple of opening sessions on Monday since I work for the same company. Then I went back to the room; took a nap and freshened up for dinner. Hub and another district manager took about 20 clients to a fabulous restaurant. Really different and really yummy! What a good day! Tuesday was to be "my day"; or so I thought. Started out great with sleeping in and then ordering room service breakfast. Leisurely got ready and scoped out on the internet as to where all I wanted to go. I've been having some real pain in my knee which I had been self-treating with ibuprophen. I noticed that it was a little worse as I was walking down to the elevators. It was close to time for Hub to be breaking for lunch, so I decided to wander down there to see how his presentations were going. On the way, something buckled in my knee and I could go no farther. I sat down at the nearest table as I could put no weight on my leg. Hub came out and he brought both of us lunch over to that table thinking it would get better. Oh and while I was there, I made the faux pas of asking a lady, who was going to sit down with us for lunch, to get me a water. Hub gave me a strange look and I later found out that she was the Senior Executive Vice President. Oops! She had just flown in for the day and I had never met her. Oh, well. She was kind. Anywho, I got to ride in a wheelchair back to the room (no drama) and asked Hub to take me to the hospital when he was through with his last session. I wasn't in pain unless I tried to move my leg or walk. The ER just put a leg immobilizer on me, gave me crutches and meds for swelling and pain. They told me to contact an ortho as soon as I returned. That night was suppose to be the big dinner and casino night. I had been looking forward to casino night. :( I had Wendy's in the car on the way to the hotel from the hospital. Instead of staying an extra day, we came home a day early. Saw an ortho; had a MRI on Friday; got results Monday and will see ortho again next Monday when he gets off vacation. MRI shows a torn meniscus, a cyst and arthritis. It is getting much better. I'm down to one crutch. Nurse said that this usually means surgery but we will see what the doc says. Hate to get so much better to go back. Hub says he doesn't want me to go to any more meetings with him. :( I had planned to go to New Orleans with him in November. Surely, he will forget before then.

Hub is out this week. Probably good for both of us. I have plenty to keep me busy and #2 is here again.

Guess it is time for me to put on my big girl panties and get on with things.

Later.

Soap Opera or Real Life?

I always thought that my life was a bit of a soap opera. Probably most of you would say the same things. Especially if you have a spouse, children, a job, a pets, a life....well, you get the picture. But right now I seriously wish my life was a little more of a soap. Not just any soap though. I am a die hard All My Children fan. I have watched AMC pretty much since it began. Since we were probably the last family in America to acquire a VCR, it was sometimes hard to keep up with the storylines, but as a dedicated fan, I did okay. Sometimes I scheduled appointments around my TV schedule. Yes, I must confess that I have been known to pick up a Soap Digest while waiting in line at the grocery store; check out the spoilers for AMC, and then put it back. That's right I did it. A DVR rocked my world though. Haven't missed one since. Before you send people in white coats to pick me up and take me to a 12-step program for TV addicts, I have to share with you that All My Children is going off the air in September. Take a moment. Sniff...

As much as I will miss my pretend friends of AMC, I have to share with you how they are ending this. It was only announced a couple of months ago that the show would not be continued. That left a lot of loose ends and storylines that needed to be settled. So what did they do? They had the main character sent to the mental hospital. And who would you find there but all of the funny ladies that have left the show without being killed off. Of course they are all in the mental hospital together. That makes sense. Actually, it has been really funny. But that leaves the well loved character that have been killed off. Oh, yeah. The brilliant, yet deceitful, Dr. Hayward has yet another secret. Somehow, he got to all of these people after they died (and before embalming evidently) and he has been using them as guinea pigs in a process of being the dead back to life. That's believable. Right? Whatever. But it makes for a lot of fun. I'm sure they will have to end with Erica Kane getting married for the umpteen time so everyone will have to be there.

Can you imagine this in "real life". People that make your life a little miserable sent right out to a hospital to be total entertainment. You know where they are. They are not going to bother you. You can take them out and play with them if you want then put them back up. All is well. The best part though is that the people that have left you in death to actually have been revived and are in a hospital somewhere waiting to come back into your life. Could be complicated. But what a dream. Anyway, I am totally enjoying it and all of this will probably make me miss my AMC habit even more.

So enough about my dream life. Lots going on. Not sure if I want to send someone to a hospital or go myself. Both would work for me at the moment.

Later.

News Flash! I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!

So nice to know that after all 28 years, my husband and I still really enjoy each other's company. Do I sound surprised? Maybe I am...a little. We have been so busy just going through the motions of life that I am afraid that we have neglected each other a bit. As so many couples, we have been on auto-pilot; ships passing in the night; text and e-mail buddies; getting by; friendly neighbors...you get the idea. Last week was different though. The young adults were in their own home (thank you, God) and #2 son was gone for a week on vacation with a friend. We were A-L-O-N-E. Just us. The two of us. No kids. No one else's kids. Scary stuff. It was greatness! We really didn't even do much. Hung out together. Laughed a lot. Enjoyed the hummingbirds. Watched late movies and slept late. Hub worked from home except for one day that he was gone for about 6 hours. Guess what! I missed him! Isn't that fabulous? We did paint and redecorate our son's bedroom while he was gone. That was even fun. What a great week!

This week...well, this week has been a little more normal for us. #2 son flew home Saturday bringing his friend to spend the week with us. He got off the plane asking for ibuprofen. He has double ear infections. He has come in our bedroom every night crying with pain and has ended up sleeping in a recliner in our bedroom. He was running pretty high fever, too. We were at an emergency clinic on Sunday morning and I took him back to the doc today. You would think he would be symptom free after 4 days of antibiotics. He is just now feeling a bit better. We are doing everything that we can to help him. His friend flies home on Saturday and on Sunday, #2 is leaving for a week at the beach with another friend and family. He has got to be well. Mommy and Daddy want another fun week. :)

On Sunday night, we received a call from #1 son's girlfriend. He was sharpening a knife and his hand slipped, slicing open his thumb. They spent the night in the E.R. He cut a tendon which will require surgery. That is now scheduled for next Monday. He will not be able to use his hand for 4-6 weeks. Great for his new job! Someone also threw something through the window in his ghetto home. Hub went over there today and replaced the glass for them. Hub has actually been pretty good about leaving them to handle things themselves lately. (Knock on wood.) As soon as he saw blood, #1 expected us to jump in the car and come take care of him. When they called, I just said "It sounds like you need stitches. Better go to the hospital." He couldn't believe we weren't coming, but they did just fine. They did call several times during the night with the last one being at 5 a.m. But hey, that's improvement. One of the calls was actually kind of funny when they were trying to give the hospital the car insurance card instead of the health insurance card. We totally enjoyed it, too, when they came over on Monday AND THEN LEFT!!! After they left, I told Hub to make sure that the garage door was down and the door was locked. Just in case.

Well, we are looking forward to another childless week next week. Hub has a business trip next week and I plan to tag along for a few days. He will be in meetings most of the days, but I am quite happy to entertain myself. One night, they are having casino night so that ought to be fun. We plan on staying an extra day.

Hope your weeks are going well. Go fall in love with your husband.....again.

Later.

'

They're out!!!!!

It finally happened! Sh-hhh. Did I say that out loud? My son and the girlfriend have moved out. Is that angels I hear singing in the background? We spent yesterday getting their things over to their new address. There is just a bit still here. #1 son called at 8:00 this morning about it. Us: "No! Stay there. We will bring it to you this afternoon!" It is sad how excited we are.

After all of the months of looking on the internet and newspaper for housing (that would be me looking, of course) and them poo-pooing signing even a 6-month lease, the girlfriend picked this house out on her own. It is a 2-bedroom, holes in the wall, foundation shifting home in the ghetto with a one year lease that they will be paying at least $200 a month too much for. I don't think I would be able to get any sleep there. And the kitchen....ew-w-w-w. She didn't even realize that it did not have a refrigerator until after they had signed. So much to learn! My mantra is now "I'm sure you will figure something out."

We got in Thursday night from a week of travel. The car says we drove over 1800 miles. We met family at their lakehouse in Kentucky for a couple of days. #2 son took a friend with him and they had a blast jet skiing all day. Lots of fun visiting and then a bonfire and s'mores in the evening. Good family time.

From there we went to Indianapolis. That was where the boys dubbed our trip "The Dead People Tour". Hub had promised his aging aunt to take her to her parents (his grandparents) graves. He had not been there since he was 10, so we were relying on her to get us there. Oops! It is a huge cemetery and we had two cars, four adults and two boys looking at every tombstone while the aunt waited in the car. Bless her heart. She was embarrassed that she was so confused, but after probably an hour or wandering, we found them. So next we had to go across town to another cemetery to find another set of grandparents. This cemetery was actually pretty cool. Even the boys were a bit fascinated. It was very ornate; lots of fancy monuments and even a few celebrities including President Benjamin Harrison and John Dillinger.

After that adventure, we went over to a cousin's home for a 4th of July celebration. Lots of family, lots of little babies to hold, lots of fabulous food and great fun. I love being with my husband's cousins. We spent the next two nights at one of the cousin's farm. That is a treat in itself. SO beautiful! Such a different lifestyle than mine. Don't know that I would want to do it, but sure is fun to visit.

While on this trip, I got to have my very first Bloggy Buddy visit. I met "Birdie" from strelitziamusings.blogspot.com at a mall for lunch. She was gorgeous and gracious just like I knew she would be. So much fun! We chatted and chatted while we were serenaded by a pianist and a soloist in the atrium. Not a bad lunch!

We left there and took the young teens to a Children's Museum. Knowing that they would not be seen from anyone from their school, they had a great time and didn't worry about looking cool.
There was also a travelling exhibition of Barbie there. (Sigh.) I walked all through it and remembered all my Barbie's and the outfits they had on display that I had once played with. Barbie has had so many careers. Ken is still a moocher with no job. He still was just hanging out at the Barbie Dreamhouse and driving her convertible. ;)

That evening, we had the next stop of our "Dead People Tour". (That sounds so bad!) While we were driving up from Kentucky, we received a call that one of Hub's Indianapolis aunts had passed away. She was 92 and had a great life. The visitation was that night so we all went over there to see her son that we had not seen in many years and pay our respects. #2 son's friend had never seen a dead body so this was an experience. After greeting family, I just let them go to a side room with their I-pods. My family didn't stay for the funeral the next day as none of had brought appropriate clothes or shoes.

We decided to break up the long trip home and drive 6 hours back to the lakehouse and then 6 hours home the next day. On the way, we saw a sign for Abraham Lincoln's birthplace. (Never knew that he had been born in Kentucky.) Since this was our "Dead People Tour", we drove 20 miles off the route, toured and learned more about Lincoln. We started out again and then Hub thought about Mammoth Cave. He and I had been there with #1, but #2 and his friend had never been a cave. Here we go again traipsing through the countryside. Kentucky designs the roads thinking that you need to enjoy all of the state's beauty. The roads are winding and it take twice as long to get anywhere. We got there late in the day but just in time to catch the last tour. It's not as pretty as Carlsbad but it is interesting. Also, at Carlsbad Caverns, you take an elevator down into the earth. Here you walk down. Lots and lots and lots of stairs. It is 54 degrees in the cave so it is okay. But then, you have to come out. Up lots and lots and lots of stairs. We were all sweating by the time we got out and I am sure my face was beet red. Next time, I will just wait in the gift shop. Our 6 hour drive had now turned into almost 12. The next day was rainy, so there was no skiing. We were all anxious to get home Thursday night.

So no "adults" living up stairs now. #2 son flew out this morning to go on vacation with family friends in Texas. Mom and Dad have the house to ourselves for a week to chase each other around. Woo-hoo!

Later.

Reality TV

Reality TV. My addiction. There....I've said it. No sense in signing me up for "Reality TV Anonymous". I'm quite happy with my addiction. It makes me feel more sane and normal. It makes me feel good about myself. I don't feel the need to get new boobs, lips and hair extensions. I don't dream of being a singer or designer. I don't live in a world where turning over a table is part of a normal dinner party. I don't have to say "Yes" to a dress while my mother and best friends pick it apart. (I now know why I went by myself to find my own wedding dress. Good decision.) No one called me a Bridezilla.....I don't think. I wouldn't last long on a deserted island fending for myself. I don't have a bunch of celebrity sisters or a pushy mother that keeps me in the magazines. I can kind of cut hair but have no desire to run a salon. But boy do I like watching all of this.....stuff.

At the moment, I'm watching "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". The Gypsy or Irish Traveler culture is SO different and very closed off. I've never seen wedding dresses of this kind of gaudy opulence. Way, way over the top in bling, ruffles and material alone. Only to be topped by the bridesmaids. Interesting enough, the culture is totally male driven. Girls marry young and are then virtually the property of their husband. Their entire life is geared to becoming a cooking, cleaning machine of a housewife in a small trailer. (A little like me. NOT.) Yet, they show these young girls dressed like hookers at really young ages out to attract men. The Pussycat Dolls have nothing on these girls as they dance the part as well. It's also interesting to me that they portray that in this culture, girls don't drink and certainly don't have sex before marriage. Still this show has more bare midriffs and more boobs spilling out than any of the "Real Housewives".

Big, fancy dresses are not just for weddings. They're showing a 7 year old little girl's first communion in a princess style dress made with 550 yards of pink netting. The dress weighs twice as much as she does. She can hardly walk. She arrives at the church in a stretch with her friends drinking sparkling cider. Huh?

So why do I like reality TV so much? I still have the prodigal son in my home. Glad he came back but it is way past time for him to find his own place again. Then there is his girlfriend that we are raising. I keep encouraging her to make amends with her father. It's time for her family to step up. Oh, I didn't tell you that we finally got them to take their dog somewhere else. Of course, I was deemed evil, but the backyard can finally be reclaimed. This weekend was the latest in a line of "deadlines" that Hub had placed on them to be out. They have decided that they are moving back "again" to where we lived. Until then they will be living with his boss. Oy vey!

Yep, reality TV seems to be a great diversion. Everyone has their family stuff. This is how I get through mine. Oh, and I just found out that Hub has asked #1 son and the girlfriend to come back here and house sit while we are away for about 6 days. Looking for a party? My house - next weekend.

Wonder what is coming on TV next...........

Later

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

Dear Diary,

Father's Day 2011 is almost over. It doesn't take Hallmark to remind me of Daddy. I can only wish that I could send him a card. I still miss him every day. Not so much the missing that makes you weep or sends you spiraling out of control. Just the reminder that I'm just talking to him in my head about daily life. He was my cheerleader with all of the answers. Not that he would just hand those answers over. He took way too many pschology classes for that. But somehow, he would direct me into finding my own answer. (Or at least thinking it was my own answer.)

Life can be really hard sometimes. He was my constant. Always there. Always believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. Always loved me. I really want to ask him about what to do with his grandson. He is driving us over the cliff. Of course, I do know in my heart what he would say. He would just say "Love him." He would say it quietly, powerfully, and in a way that I knew he understood.

Daddy was my first boyfriend. My brother told me once that when I was little I never called him "Daddy". I called him "My Daddy". Guess I was marking my territory. When I became an adult and lived in another city, it was not unusual for him to call me on Monday mornings as I was walking/running into the office. On the other end: "Hi Kid. Just called to say hello and tell you I love you. Have a great week."

Anyway, can't send him a card. He left for Heaven 27 years ago next month. If I could it would say something like...."Thank you for the wings you gave me. Thank you for the guidance you gave me even when I paid it no mind. I still heard you. Thank you for loving me like no other. I miss you, Daddy and I will love you forever."

Yep, Dear Diary, that's what it would say.

Happy Father's Day, My Daddy.