Success

Success:

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.


Copied this from a dear friend of mine. Just wanted to remind myself.

Make it a happy day!

Later.

Southern Comfort

We're here! Actually, we are all over the place here in "box city". I feel like we should be further along with unpacking after a week, but it is what it is. Each room is partially done. Nothing completely. A lot of things are in closets and shelves that will need to be re-done. Some things are still waiting to be found in a box somewhere. Guess this is all part of the process.

We are finding our home to fit us even better than we thought. Things are coming together. I don't think that I had totally bought into this house before. It was a symbol or a very hard transition in our lives. I knew it was a great house....for someone. I just didn't think it would really be for me. Surprise. We're here. Our ever growing stuff is here, too. It will be okay.

We were happy to find a boy across the street who is in the same grade as our son. He loves baseball, too. YEA! Also, his mom said that she is on the board of the PTO for the school that we wanted and expected him to be in. She said that she can get him in. No problem. She will be my new hero if she pulls that off. We have only met one other family in the neighborhood, but found out that there is a huge block party here for the 4th of July. Wonder woman across the street is one of the instigators. That will be a great way to meet people. The church that we have been going to is also having an old fashion church picnic that day. Sounds like a busy social day. Also, sounds like a multiple shower day. I'm just saying... It has really been hot and humid here.

The people here continue to entertain me. Really good, honest country people. People that you don't know tell you so much. We had to call for an A/C repair and the little lady that schedules appointments told me all kinds of things about her kids and grandkids. Including the fact that her grandson was the principal at the middle school we want to go to. Turns out that he is actually assistant principal. You know how proud grandmas are. We went to a country style restaurant for lunch today. The gift shop is full of redneck sayings. "You may be a redneck goddess if you have ever worn a tube top to a wedding." There was actually a NEW city ordinance that was just passed. It states that it is against code to park a car in your front yard on the grass within the city limits. Unbelievable that this had to be addressed in 2010. I really don't want to sound like I'm making fun of the people. They have been super friendly and welcoming to us. I am enjoying them. I just have never felt so much like a "city girl" before. But, the "sweet tea" here is super good. Ye-haw. I will adjust.

Y'all come see us now. Ya hear? Just don't park in the "fronchard".

Later.

The Next Chapter

It's very late, or actually early in the morning ,and I'm sitting here in a torn up house of boxes. Tomorrow they will be packing up my dear computer so I will be having withdrawals. I have got to progress to a laptop. I'm not even sure where I am going to set up this thing. I'm accustomed to having a kitchen desk, but the new house doesn't have one. :(

People will be crawling this house at 8 a.m. and "maybe" get all of our things out by the end of the day. This has all been so surreal. I'm actually dreading the house being empty. It's turning from a home into a house right before my eyes. There is so much of our history connected here. So many laughs and so very many tears. In the past ten years since we have lived here, we have celebrated 10 Christmas', watched our little boy go from 2 to 12, watched first love, many babies born to friends and family, lots of barbecues, many flowers bloom and wonderful sunsets. Even some double rainbows. We've also lost. Had a son taken away due to drugs, lost 2 mothers, a dad, a brother, a brother-in-law, a cousin, several aunts & uncles. We went almost a year without a job. We've seen divorces. We also got to be here when a young couple in the neighborhood came to us because they were ready to split up. We talked to them quite a bit and went to a marriage recovery seminar with them. They didn't split. Are now happily married and the parents of precious twins. It wasn't by accident that we were here. During the happy times there were people we wanted to share it with. During the sad times, we had "friends who are family" here to share that with also and comfort us.

This is one of those changing times of life. Finally, just tonight, I think I'm okay with this. It has been a long time coming. I feel a little bit of closure. My son will be home in less than a month. Our family will be together again, and I think we all may appreciate it a little more. So on to our next chapter.

Later.

Honey, I love you but give me Park Avenue.

OK. So I just have to laugh. This has been a day of discovery. Now that I'm not working, I am trying to get the business of the move under control. Things like when and where and who. Things like electricity, phone, water. This is some of what I found out today.

• Our buyers are still calling wanting to close on the 13th. Today's the 8th. Now they have figured out that they will lose their locked in rate if they don't. Should of thought of that before. Anyway, house is closing early. We're not moving early. All is well.
• I have been trying to get the moving company to hold off delivery until after the weekend. We have some painting we wanted to do and have done before the furniture was in. Found out that the painter our realtor recommended said that it would be at least $2000-$3000. That is just for 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and the loft. No way, Jose. The movers can't hold off and are delivering on Friday. Oh, well. At least the main areas of the house were just done. We will get it done room by room.
• I called the Chamber of Commerce to get who all the utility numbers for the city. Lady was really nice and gave me a full page worth of numbers.
• Found out today that our new home is not in the city limits. You would think we would have known that, but no. Our address is one town, our school district is another, and we are somewhere out there. Big surprise! I found that out when I called the city to start services. After much talk and looking, she came up that we had no services with them. She said that they use to handle the sewer but they turned it over to the water co-op. She said that people in the trailer park would come in and not sign up to pay and they couldn't track them. Think about it. (Insert giggle here.)
• Found out that there is no trash/garbage services except for independent contractors. She gave me several names and numbers. Found another one on our disclosure papers. Can you imagine all of the trucks coming up and down the streets? I'm going to wait on this one until we are there and can get the "dirt" (pun intended) from the neighbors about who to use.
• Called the gas company to start service. Got the good news that you have to come to the office in person to get it started. The ONLY way to do it. She finally looked it up and said that she didn't show service to that address anyway. We have an all electric home. Didn't know that they still built those. Another thing we should of checked. Should have asked for the electric bill averages. I can only pray now.
• Called the electric company and got the same thing that I had to be there in person to get service. I asked about doing anything online or by fax. The lady said "Look, we are not in the 20th century here. You have to come in and we don't take cards. Bring cash or a check." I told her we were driving in from Texas one day and the furniture would be here the next morning. I really needed electricity and asked if there was any other way. She checked and the current owners have not put in a disconnect so she is going to write herself a note not to turn it off and just transfer it to us. She will even let me wait until Monday morning to come in to her office. Gotta love this lady. I just get a picture of Carol Burnett as Eunice.
  

Didn't get to the rest of the utilities today. I wanted to leave some entertainment for tomorrow. Can't wait to call the water and sewer people!

All I want to know now is .........WHERE IN THE HELL AM I MOVING TO? Green Acres? :)

Later.

Changes

Life is moving fast now. This will be our last week here. Movers come the next week. I still feel in denial. I guess it will become real when they start taking things out of my hands and putting them in boxes. We have been dealing with this way too long. I'm ready for it to be done.



I'm glad to be done with school. Not really school, but I am ready for a break from the school schedule. The last day went so fast. I did really well with crying kids, etc. I had decided that I am all cried out these days. I was wrong because in walked a first year teacher that will be leaving to go to graduate school. She came in with tears in her eyes, grabbed me, and fell into the ugly, sobbing cry. Who can take that? From then on, it was down hill. About 30 of us went to happy hour together. That was fun. We went to a restaurant a little bit away so that hopefully we would not run into any of our students or their parents.



Our air conditioning upstairs went off last night. Not a good thing when it was 100 degrees yesterday. I went down a flipped some breaker switches (the only thing I know how to do) but it didn't start. Somehow in the wee hours it came on. Maybe it froze up. Anyway, I have to get it serviced this week and pray it lasts until the other people move in. We are buying them a home warranty, so they can handle whatever. Hub left today on a 4-day business trip. You know that something else will have to happen. It's the law. Murphy's law.



Our son will be home in a little over a month. Doesn't seem real after so long. There will be a lot of changes for all of us. Little brother has been an only child for a while now. I don't think he will like giving that up. Things are so different now and it will be a hard realization for our son. He left here a boy with us taking care of him that way. He is coming back a man. I'm afraid that he will be disappointed when he tries to come back into a life he remembered. Tough part of growing up and he will have it all at one time. He used to get between Hub and I. I'm not looking forward to that game. Don't get me wrong. Our family has been broken without him here. I want him here. At our table, and with us. It is just that it was really, really bad. We dealt so much with the drugs instead of with our son. I don't know that I really remember how to act like a "normal" family of four any more. Our dynamics will certainly have changed.

When you think about it, send up a little prayer for our family. We can really use it.

Later.

Exhaling

Thanks for bearing with me during my own little meltdown. Life, as we know it, just became too much for both of us. Much talking, apologies, more talking and praying and things now seem a little better. I've been with this man too long to throw it away. Don't know if he ever read all of that or not, but it was pretty raw and really truthful. Wouldn't take back a thing.

Hopefully, we are on a straighter course now. We still have a job and are still moving. We went to Arkansas this weekend and after much looking found another home. I think I like it even better than the first. The inspection came through today and it is great. Our picky inspector just found a few minor things. We should be there on the 21st. Just a couple of weeks before our son comes home. What a summer!

We just have two more days of school. I'm so ready. I also found out today that I still had two days of leave that I will lose and not be paid for. Sure is tempting to call it a day. Actually, I just want to have time to say goodbye. I am so going to miss these kids. The ones that know that I am leaving have been saying that they were sad that they couldn't come back and see me. Me, too! They have made a difference to me as I hope I have made to them.

So the synopsis is....still married, still employed, still moving, still leaving.....still breathing.

Later.

One more time.....

OK So I thought I was through with whining. Bear with me, I'm trying.

• Typical stressfull, busy morning at school on Friday. End of school is coming quickly and trying to get everything done so that I could take off 1/2 day and get out of town.
• Mid-morning I receive a nasty, poison e-mail that my husband has sent to me, his two sisters and their husbands. He's mad at everyone (including me) and says that no one but him has supported our son (including me) and that he is through with the whole bunch (including me). He will not be seeing anyone this weekend or any other.
• I come home, ready to talk him off the ledge again, and find him mowing the lawn. Some physical activity is good to get agression out....or so I think.
• He comes in; takes a shower; and tells me that he is going to see our son and that I am not welcome to come.
• Then he drops the bomb that the marriage is over. We have a buyer for the house so let's sell, divide the funds and get a divorce. With that he throws clothes in a suitcase, takes the ATM card and flies out. What do you do with that?
• So I'm left here with my son who thinks he leaving school early to go on a little family trip and once again try to explain his father's actions that there is no good explanation for. He's twelve. He doesn't need to deal with this emotional roller coaster. He has enough to deal with in the move/no move game. He's a smart, sweet boy and for all of the covering up, he just came in and said "is Dad mad again?" He ended up spending Friday night and a lot of Saturday with a friend; his own escape. He was very sweet and concerned about me. Wanted to know if I was okay.
• Hub did finally say he was sorry and wrote an apologetic e-mail to his sisters and brother-in-laws. May be too little, too late.

Hub, if you are still reading my things, please stop. Sometimes this is all I have. I need something that's just mine. I'm not okay. You really hurt me. Life is hard for all of us. Not just you. I'm tired of picking up the pieces when you go off half-cocked to get it out of your system. You talk about how much healthier it is than suppressing like I sometimes do. Throwing up on the ones you love is not cool. Watching you explode would make anyone want to keep things in. This time you didn't just do it to us. You did it to the rest of your family. You may never get that back either. Our lives really kind of suck right now. No blame, just a fact. I'm going through it, but not with a crazy man.

Later.