Best Laid Plans

Like most moms who work in the home, I suffer for the syndrome that my plans are not always/usually my own or my priority. When you work outside the home, we tend to be more like the hubs. (Sorry guys!) It will have to wait until after work...unless it just can't.

Now before you get on to me for making such sexist statements, remember that the opinions expressed here are strictly the opinions and observations of the writer from her own crazy life. Right, wrong or otherwise, this is my reality.

I do take ownership of letting myself get distracted. This blog is a great example this morning. Hub is driving son to workshop and I have laundry that really must be done in lieu of nakedness. But at this moment, this is what I want to do.

I was complaining/whining to Hub last night about how I get really frustrated at the way I tend to handle stress and lots of issues to deal with at one time. I tend to freeze and shut down. It is VERY ineffective. I took a test yesterday that they were talking about on one of the doctor TV shows (Oz, Phil, etc.) According to this very scientific test, I probably am ADD. Not really surprised, as I self-diagnosed myself years ago. Just wish that I had the hyperactivity that sometimes goes with it. For years, I worked daily with affirming coping skills with #1 son to help him learn to adapt to his world. I need to take my own advice.

Last Friday, I was on the phone getting directions from the insurance investigator about what he needed me to do now regarding the stolen car. (Did I ever mention that they had found the car and it had been wrecked?) I was taking down a long list of names and fax numbers and what crazy things that all of these people need. The school called and said that #2 son was in the office from football practice complaining about an arm injury and that I needed to come get him. After 7 hours in the hospital emergency room, it was deemed that his wrist was broken. He was splinted up and told to get to an ortho doc in a few days. (Same E.R. room, same E.R. doc, and same ortho doc that I saw a few weeks ago for myself.) We went on Monday and a cast was put on his arm. He has been in a lot of pain stayed home another day. On Friday, another cast was put on as swelling was still going down and his first cast was getting too loose. It has been something like that every, single day. All things that need to be done. Just little pains in my bum.

I finally set up a local bank account this week. I didn't want to change until my direct deposits from the school district were done. No more checks from them now. :( While I was in the bank, I noticed a sign for a Financial Services Representative. (In other words, teller.) The girl that was setting up my accounts asked me if I worked and then started talking it up with me. She told me how to apply and all about the job. I did look into it and filled out an online application. I had to go back later and she told me that she had mentioned me to her branch manager. Anyway, things look a "bit" promising. Not sure what this will mean without a second car and getting Andrew to workshop and hopefully, to a job. Working is good for me, but I feel like I am still recovering from this summer.

Also, I finally got a new driver's license. I have been renewing my license for the last 10 years and have not had a new picture taken. OMG. My mother's picture is now on my driver's license. The last 10 years have really taken their toll. REALLY depressing. I'm going to lose weight; let my hair grow; get a face lift (maybe not) and then go have my picture retaken. Vanity!

Well I am going to force myself to be productive and focused; at least this morning. I am having lunch with a new friend. A fun distraction.

Have a great weekend!

Later.

Progress (?)

After a really tough weekend, things seem to be settling just a little. We were really blessed to find out about a 5-week workshop at a local church that was exactly what son #1 needed. He was a little hesitant in the beginning, but we offered him $50 spending money for each week he goes. It is dealing with setting personal goals, accountability, resume writing, interview techniques, BUDGETING, personal presentation, obtaining job training, etc. They have had speakers come in and also took a field trip to a food distributor and met with their HR department in their conference room. It's really a wonderful program. He seems to be feeling so much better about himself. It is helping me, too. The break between 9 and 3 every day while he is gone has been good. A well spent $50.

I have to share a smile with you though. He came in here the other day when I was on my computer.

Son: "Mom, would you look up something for me when you get a chance?"

Me: "Sure. What do you need?"

Son: "I need you to look up where a sperm bank is. You know, a place to donate sperm. I can get $400 a pop there. I may not have to get a job!"

So I sit there trying not to laugh or look totally amazed that this is his game plan. After all, who wouldn't want his sperm. He's a good looking man. He just happens to have ADHD; learning challenges; a prison record; addiction to drugs and alcohol and a birthmother who the state has committed more than once. What's there not to love?

I did google a local agency and showed him all of the criteria. They look at health, lifestyle, education, and family background going back 2-3 generations. So then we had a touchy conversation.

Son: "So you are saying that a kid of mine would be defective?"

Me: "I'm not saying that at all. Don't talk about my grandchildren that way. I'm just saying that they have a strict criteria and this is what it is. It's their bank and they get to make the rules."

Son: "Well, they don't have to know."

Me: "You have to be honest and they will find out anyway. You can't play with a couple's lives and feelings that way. They have a right to have all of the information available and then make their decision." (Been there, done that.)


And just when I think he's not getting or accepting any of this, he says:


"So.....do you get paid when you donate blood or is that like just a donation?"


Always thinking, that one! :)



Later.

I'll take "Dull Moments" for $500, Alex.

Not sure where to begin. Never a dull moment around here. In fact, I think I'm going to start praying for dull moments. Not days, just moments. Is that too much to ask for?

• Son #2 started middle school. There is no traffic to speak of in this town, but every car, truck and mini-van is at this school in the morning and afternoon. This complex houses an elementary, middle school, 9th grade academy and high school. A round trip to deliver or pick up takes almost an hour because of lines and lines of cars. Checked into buses, but the ride is really long with a change of buses. Picked up son the first day and he burst into tears that he did not want to play football. Said he was just doing it because daddy wanted him to. I told him to talk to dad. Finally the truth came out that the coach had humiliated him in front of the whole squad because he said "yes" instead of "yes, sir". We talked to him; hub went to school the next day and talked to counselor and coach; everything is cool....or so we thought. Football came and my silly son forgot to say "yes, sir" again. This time another coach called him out in front of the squad and yelled at him "What wrong? Do you have a learning disability?" Those are fighting words to this mom. You NEVER say something like that to a student. We both went up there yesterday and asked the counselor to get him out of there. She agreed and we discussed that we had heard there was room opening up at the school that we are actually zoned for. She made some calls that afternoon and got him in over there. God bless her.
• While we were at school talking to the counselor, Hub got a call from Son #1. He is still in Texas (with Hub's car), living with an old friend and told us last week that he now has gotten a job......as a security guard. Not so sure that I believe any of this story, but that is a whole other subject. Hub still is sending him money and telling him how proud he is of him for getting a job. All of that translates into "Hub and I have not been the best of friends lately". Back to the phone call. Son got up, looked outside and the car was gone. Stolen. He says that he locked the doors but left the windows down so that it wouldn't be so hot. (Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.) He called the police and filed a report. I called insurance and started that end. Again, all of this sounds fishy, but I don't know what else to do but go with it.
• Late yesterday afternoon, Son #2 called Hub and told him that he wanted to come home. He told him that he had done some drugs and knew that he was not strong enough to live there with those influences and stay away from them. I'm sure all of these stories are somehow connected. Not sure if we will ever know the complete truth. Anyway, Hub said that we would send him a bus ticket. I kept trying to tell him to get the ground rules down before he came and that he has to go to counselling. It hasn't been working the way it was. Actually, I think Hub knows that he is enabling, (Lord, knows his wife has pointed it out enough) but he is so afraid that we will lose him and he will have regrets. He doesn't want to see him in a casket. If anything happened to him, Hub would lay all the blame on me. Not fair, but fact. There is no room for me to try to help my son this way. Hub left out of town and I bought a ticket and called him with the details. I will drive to pick him up about 45 minutes away tonight. Hub won't be back until Wednesday night. Perfect!
• Took #2 son to new school this morning. Love it, love it, love it. The people at the other school were really nice (except for the coach), but this school just feels good. I would love to work there. Son was so excited. He wants to play football now just to show the other coach what he lost. :) Can't blame him. My son is a big kid and coaches are always surprised that he is also fast. He will go to school with the boy across the street and they can ride the bus together. Big bonus for mom! I'm so glad that he is there.
  

Okay, let me squeeze some gratefulness out of this:

1. So thankful for the counselor at the first school that showed an interest in him. I had even shared with her what was going on in the family with #1 son and how #2 had been affected. Turns out her brother is in prison for drugs so she truly understands. I think she will be a great resource.
2. Happy about the new school. Everything positive there.
3. I'm grateful that #1 son at least says that he knows he can't do it by himself now. Not sure what all of this means for our family, but it is a start.
4. My family will be grateful that I went to the grocery store after I left school this morning. We were out of everything interesting. Now we are not. Shouldn't have gone to the store hungry.

Later.

Tomorrow

• Tomorrow, my son starts school for the first time in a new state. My normally shy son is excited. Ready for a new adventure. I asked him if he had laid out some clothes to wear. He said "Why?" Definitely not raising a girl here.
• Tomorrow, my son starts the 7th grade. Wasn't it just last year that he was looking at me with desperate eyes as I was leaving him in his kindergarten class? I thought he was going to bolt.
• Tomorrow, he will meet his football coach. He has played league ball before, but playing for a school is different. Soon it will be high school ball and hopefully college. What about his T-ball? I loved it when he played T-ball. Can't he still just play T-ball?
• In about six weeks, my son turns into a teenager. A TEENAGER! Are you kidding me? He has already started getting some of the teenager attitude. The eyes are rolling and he is mortified if I say anything to one of his friends. (OK. The last part is a little fun.) Hub heard that in this state you can get a driver's license at 14. Nuts!

I guess I am just missing my baby. His beautiful blue eyes are still there, but the white blonde locks have turned dark and he won't let me comb it anymore. Those little toes that I use to kiss....not kissing those big feet. Instead of looking down and reaching for him, I'm looking him straight in the eye. Soon I will be looking up. The little boy that depended on me for life is starting to find his own way. He will do well. He's a good boy. I look forward to see all the places he will go.

• Tomorrow, I become a different kind of mother. A middle school mother to my last child. It's suppose to be this way. Why does it make me a little sad? Oh, Lord, what will I do when he goes off to college?

Later.

Red-Letter Day

I told you that I would post a house pic sometime. I guess this is the time. Y'all come see me!

Today is a red-letter kind of day. I got three rejection letters from three different jobs. Shoot! They were even the impersonal, automated, generic letters that e-mail out. Doesn't really surprise me. With school jobs, you have to know someone. Fact of life. I know that. Every mom wants to work in the school for the school schedule. Me, too! But then, if you're lucky, you realize there is something greater than that. Making a difference in a child's life. Many times it comes in really unexpected ways. For some kids, school is the only place they feel safe. Letting them know that someone who doesn't have to love them (i.e. parent) sees them for themselves and likes them ........priceless. Maybe by next year I will "know someone". I really find it rewarding and will miss it.

Now I need to find something else to do that doesn't cramp my style. Whatever that may be. :) Last school year check will be at the end of this month. Hub likes me working. Part of me does, too. The other part...not so much.

We got all of our Friday the 13th repairs made. Plumbing - $300. Lawnmower - hub knew how to fix. Yea, Hub! Car :( Luckily the engine wasn't blown as Hub thought it might be. The A/C was blowing a fuse that was stopping the engine. New A/C - $1200. Hub wants to just get it back here and make a decision whether to pour more money in. They replaced the fuse and got it running again without an air conditioner for $100. Now if we can just get it home. I know I won't be driving it.

Our older son is still in Texas. :( He was suppose to be back Monday. I was afraid that this would happen if he got that close to where we use to live. Hub and I even made a bet on it on whether he would come back on time. (Hub still lives in denial.) After the car problem, that couldn't happen but they did get the car ready yesterday afternoon. His cousin drove him over last night and they spent the night at his sister's. He left there early this morning. I have been so concerned all day because he wouldn't answer our calls or texts and had not shown up. As a mom, I had visions of him in a ditch. But it turns out that he decided to check in on old friends. Very dangerous for him. He finally called late this afternoon when we tricked him with another phone and he didn't recognize the number. He's decided to stay over until Thursday. He says that he really wants to go to church Wednesday night. I would love for that to be the case. My radar tells me that it is a convenient excuse. Oh, and guess what. Hub believes it. Of course, he does. Actually I think he chooses the path of less resistance. So until our son gets back, if he comes back, we have one car. I told him that he better hope that Hub doesn't report the car stolen.

Okay, so back to being grateful, hmmm...

• We entertained Sunday night for the first time in this home. Good company, good food, good time.
• Since we had people coming over, a lot of little details got taken care of. YEA!
• Younger son and I got all of his school supplies today. Check that off of the list.
• School starts here on Thursday, but I don't have to start a new job. Maybe I'm just a little grateful for that.

Later.

Friday the 13th

OMG! This is the third posting this week. I'm rather chatty. Or rather "typey".

It's Friday the 13th. I usually giggle at people that pay attention to that old superstition. The only time I remember changing anything that I was going to do on Friday the 13th was when I was a home decorator. I found out that my afternoon appointment was a real life witch. This came from a strong, credible source. (ie mayor/neighbor) I really didn't want to do business with people that worship the devil, but I had made the appointment a couple of weeks out and professionally felt the obligation to keep it. When I realized the date, I decided that was enough and I didn't want to push the subject. I cancelled.

Thursday the 12th may be a different story though. Older son (#1) was mowing out lawn to be overpaid with gas money. He got halfway through, and the handle of the mower came apart. Hub says that he thinks the mower can be fixed but until then, half-mowed lawn. Then #1 left in Hubs's car to go visit his cousin at college in Texas for a long weekend. Hub and I had words about this because he has been on an extended, very expensive vacation for the last 5 weeks and not really looking for a job. After he left, younger son (#2) went to get the mail and notice water spraying from a pipe in the front yard. Hub went out to check. Hub thinks that #1 had to have ran into the pipe and cracked it while mowing. Never said a word. When he tried to tighten a valve, it broke off in his hand. Now we have a tall geyser. I called the water department. They came out and said it was a pipe to the sprinkler system and past the point of their responsibility. I called our Home Warranty people and was told that they don't cover anything outside of the house. Hub turned off the water and I called the plumber we had used a month ago. He was over booked, but promised to be out first thing today. We turned the geyser back on just long enough to fill up sinks and pitchers, and flush potties. Ewww!

Then #1 called. He was about 4 hours away and the low fuel pressure light was on. He pulled over and the car started dying. He got it started and Hub told him to turn around but he refused. Instead of following the driving directions that we printed out, he went to the town we moved here from and to a favorite hangout. He said he could only go about 30 mph for the last hour and the car happened to stop there. Amazing! He calls us after about half an hour. A repair place that we had used and trusted was not too far away. Hub told him to try and get it started and take it there. In the mean time, the cousin is driving over from college about 1-1/2 hours away and his sister is picking up #1 and will meet him halfway. Everyone is trying to help and I'm still a little ticked at the situation.

Well the plumber came this morning to the house-of-dirty-people. He said that the way it was installed was stupid and should be changed. About $300. He would take the piece back to his shop and see if he can re-tool it to make it work. Today it is just $100. He cut off only the water to the sprinklers so now at least we have water in the house.

Hub called the car repair place and his mechanic thinks that it may not be as bad as we thought. Hasn't given us the what and how much yet, but we can be hopeful.

Gratitude list:

• Happy to have water. Showers are going, dishwasher and clothes washer. Makes me a little more compassionate about people in third world countries. I am so spoiled.
• Thankful for cousins who will go out of their way at 10 p.m.to help my son.
• I'm grateful that half that is mowed is the front lawn instead of the back.
• I'm excited that I knew some of the answers on Jeopardy today. Usually, that show makes me feel really stupid.

Later

Crazy Trash

Note to self: Read your posts a little closer before you publish. You sound like a moron.

"I have got to learn to be more gratitude." Maybe I should try learning a little grammar while I'm learning to be more grateful. Oh, well. I'm sure you got the drift.

Things to be grateful for today:

• Got my nails and toes done today. I'm REALLY grateful for that. Toes were looking rough. Hubby should be grateful, too.
• Went to a fish fry at church. Yum! We would be there EVERY Wednesday if they always did that. I'm bad.
• We will be entertaining for the first time Sunday night. We are hosting a church group at our house. Found some really cute plates at Wal-Mart today. I'm excited. After all, it is the little things.
• While at Wal-Mart, I also found my new favorite drink Minute Maid Cherry Limeade on sale. It was $1.00 a half gallon. I came home with four cartons. I'm not the only one that loves it. Again...little things. You really ought to try it. Big yum!

I'm sure our neighbors truly think that the Beverly Hillbillies have so moved in. Every trash day, we still seem to have a huge pile of crazy, obnoxious stuff. Luckily, in a small town, the trash people will take whatever you put out. I make my son wait until after dark to drag it out. (Sad, but true. I try to hold on to a little dignity.) We have replaced two different beds since we have been here. So on two different times, we have had mattresses stuck out there on top of tons of boxes. Found out that Hub had put his dad's old bed up in the attic after he passed. FIL had been ill and of course the mattress was stained badly. Yuck! That went out, too. What was Hub thinking? Today I think we topped it all though for crazy trash. In our old house, we had an ironing board that folded out from a wall in the master closet. (Pure genius on my part.) Master closet here doesn't have a wall to put one on so I had to go out and buy an ironing board. Since I'm not that vested in ironing boards, I didn't invest a lot in one. Translation = the cheapest one Target had. It's been a little temperamental but today we had it up and neither one of us could get it to fold up. We both inspected, struggled, banged, etc. with no success. I finally told Hub, "It's trash day. Put it out." So on top of all our other treasures, there was an ironing board. A new ironing board with a new cover. Standing up defiantly and ready to go. I probably should have taken a picture. Poor neighbors. Someday we will be normal.

As the Clampetts would say, "Y'all come back now, ya hear!"

Later.