You're not going to believe this one.

Our weekend events would make the plot of a good movie.  Oh, wait a minute.  I think it may have already been made.  Ever see "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"?  Yep, that would be it.  We went to Indianapolis this weekend for a family birthday party.  Left Monday morning and then started back after breakfast on Sunday.  Our time there was fabulous fun.  The trip.....not so much.  I will try to give you the Reader's Digest version.

• Hub and I have had a really rocky week to start out with.  The long-term stress of #1 is really taking a toll on us and our marriage.  While #2 had earphones plugged in his ears in the backseat, up front we talked, argued, cried (that would be me) and of course, there were the silent times.  All of that makes the trip seem to take an eternity.  We got to the hotel about 8:30 (9:30 their time) and just settled in, watched some TV and fell to sleep early.
• I had planned to visit our mutual friend, Birdie, while I was there.  In typical fashion, I had the time of the party confused.  I thought it was an evening party and it was actually at 2:00 in the afternoon.  We lounged around in the morning; found out about the time error and then did not have time to visit her before the party and she had plans for the evening.  :(   We did have a nice visit on the phone, but I was disappointed.  Hopefully, we will be back in the summer and I will do some better planning.
• Skip to Sunday.  We had breakfast with a cousin and his family.  Love, love, love them.  Get in the car and start out.  We were making pretty good time and all of us seemed to be on the obsession to get home quickly.  Hub was still short tempered and not a happy camper.  We stopped for a gas and potty break at a small town in Illinois.  #2 and I ran inside to the restrooms while Hub walked the dog and pumped gas.  Evidently, these were old fashioned pumps and you had to take your credit card inside to pay.  Hub told us to watch the pump and he ran in and tossed them his credit card on his own way to the restroom.  He came out saying "no more pit stops" (yeah, right) and off we went.
• We get down the highway a little ways and all of a sudden, Hub says "Oh, no" and then we hear a siren.  We pull over and a trooper gives him a speeding ticket for $140.  The speed limit in Illinois is 65.  (Illinois is the only state that the limit isn't 70.)  Hubs argues with him that it is too slow and that he won't be coming back to Illinois.  Rather silly argument as he was clocked going 86 mph. Not much of an argument.  This puts him in an even better mood. (Not.)  Oh, and the trooper had a yellow stuffed monkey sitting on his dashboard.  How weird is that?
• Two hours more down the road, through Missouri and entering Arkansas, yep.......I needed to go.  We stopped at a little town and decided to also pick up some fast food.  It was about 3:30.  We all chose to do a quick drive through of Sonic.  Got to the Sonic and it had burned down.  Went back up to Wendy's and placed an order at the drive up window.  Hub reached to get our credit card and didn't see it.  He got out of the car and pulled everything out of his wallet and it was not there.  He is so not in the mood for this.  He grabbed his jacket to check the pockets and then slung it into the back of the SUV.   He gave them another card....and it was expired.  I gave him my debit card, he pays and pulls the car over to the side. 
• We start looking around for the card.  THEN, we realized his wallet is now missing.  He had just had it and we all saw it.  That pushed him totally over the edge.  We all are looking frantically around beside the seats, etc.  Then he tells us all to get out and he proceeds to throw everything out of the car on the ground.  Yes, everything.  Luggage, dirty clothes, computer bags, snack bags, pillows, etc.  By this time, the clerks at Wendy's are all leaning out the window watching; there is a car that was behind us that just stops to watch, cars are slowing down.  He is having a complete meltdown as #2 and I step back and watch in horror.  I go back and look in the drive through and he does, too.  I went in and spoke to the clerk.  Nothing. 
• Hub finally remembers about the gas station and that he never picked his card back up after filling up with gas.  The wallet...don't have a clue.  Still a mystery.  All we can do at this time is drive back up two hours and pray that we remember the station and that they are still opened.  We don't even have a receipt to look the name or city.  We are going back over every action trying to make some sense.  #2 tells us that the car behind us in line went around the building slowly and 3  times while we were there.  Hub is driving like a mad man (which he was) and #2 and I are all over the Internet and GPS trying to remember where the gas station was.  We made all kinds of calls, but didn't reach where we narrowed our search down to which was, of course...Illinois.  I bought a cappachino there and I remember it being in my hand when we were pulled over.
• While we are driving back, we receive a call on my cell phone from the police station in Arkansas.  Hub's wallet was found at Wendy's.  Seems like everything is there.  Hub explains that we are driving back for a credit card and will be back in about 3-1/2 hours.  The wallet is still a mystery, as we both had gone back to look and it was not there.  We really think that the car behind us must have picked it up while Hub was causing all the commotion.  He probably saw what was going on and felt guilty.  I'm sure that we looked like we had enough issues at the time.
• We happily found the service station in Illinois and it was still opened.  The same girl was still there and glad to see us.  We got the card (I put it in my purse this time).  Hub is outside trying to talk ANOTHER officer out of our ticket.  Oy vey.  (And remember that Hub is driving without a license.)   We needed gas again, but Hub refused to buy it in Illinois. 
• Also, I forgot to mention that Hub had left his company card in a restaurant while in southern Louisiana last week.  He went back twice and they said that they didn't have it.  After he cancelled it, they found it.  See a pattern?
• We drove back to the Arkansas police station and got there about 9:30 and signed papers to get back his wallet.  All they had is that it was found in the drive through.  I was curious about how they got my cell phone number.  They had called the police department where we live and had someone come out to our house.  Must have found a neighbor.
• We got gas, more food as no one was in the mood to eat the Wendy's food 4 hours ago, and drove home.  We got home about 11;30.  ONLY about 6 hours later than the GPS originally set out ETA.

So.....back to "Trains, Planes and Automobiles"......get my drift?  So how was your weekend?

Later.

Thanks, Oprah!

Two posts in two days!  Haven't done that in awhile. 

I actually want to use this as kind of a "note to self" because I want to remember what I just heard.  I saw a bit of a show one Sunday morning and set it to record.  I just now turned it on today.  I already know that I need to watch it again to digest it all.  The show is called "Super Soul Sunday" and it is hosted by who else but Oprah Winfrey.  That woman is STILL teaching me lessons.  Thanks, Oprah!

This show has been filled with so many nuggets of wisdom that I want to remember and use to make decisions, comfort myself, live by, etc.

•  The first thing that reached out and grabbed me was that you can't "un-happen" things.  I think that somewhere deep down inside myself that I look for the troubles that we deal with to somehow "un-happen".  Maybe if I wait to deal with this, then I will find out that I don't need to.  It will "un-happen".  FAIL.  Not going to happen.  It's still here and still needs to be handled in some way.  Give up the hope that the past will be different.   Don't live in the space of "if only that hadn't happened."
• There was the analogy used of a picture of what you thought that your life would be hanging on the wall.  It falls down and breaks in a million pieces.  You sit there and look at it and know that it will never put itself back together.  But you can put the picture back together.  It will be a different picture but it can be a good picture.  You just have to put it together yourself. 
• Look for the message in every problem.  Don't fight the problem.  Every problem teaches a message.
• Pay attention to "life".   It's speaking to you all the time.
• Create what you want instead of be stuck on what you don't have.
• "You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people.  But until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will ooze through and stain your life.  You must find the strength to open the wound, stick your hand inside, pull out the core of the pain, the memory, and make peace with it?  Make peace with the past."
• When you hold onto the pain, it goes from being baggage to being monogrammed luggage.
• Under the anger is the hurt; and under the hurt is the love.
• Your life is like a rosebud.  We have to "break open" in order to blossom to the beautiful flower that we are intended to be. 
• It is not that we are unhappy because of what we are not getting.  We are unhappy because of what we are not giving.
• When we are in intense pain, we must go forward well.  We are the only models that our children have as to how to deal with pain.  We are their teachers.
• When you look at life through the lens of gratitude, you don't see as many obstacles or hindrances.  You see potential and possibilities.   Then you are an open vehicle for spirituality

Later.

Thanksgiving......family, food, fun, and foolishness.  How much more can one day take?   We had our usual gathering with family.  It was a smaller group this year, but that was good, too.  This time it was just family members so I got to visit more with personally with people I love.   It's all good.  The food...amazing as always.  My sister is the best cook that I know of.  We all brought our contributions to the feast, but she just has that way to put it all together.  YUM!  Fun....there is always family football, crafts and games.  The day goes very fast.  Lots of smiles.   Lots of teasing.  Lots of hugs, kisses and "I love you".  Just what it is suppose to be. 

So then why did I come home sad?  Oh, yes.  There's the foolishness.  That would be added to the mix by my darling boy, #1.  As you know he has himself in a deep well of trouble.  One that no one could escape unscathed.  He has large debts to pay.  Some with money; some to society.  Actually, I think he finally realizes it.   A little too late.  When he and a friend were on foot in the middle of a heavy storm, they sought shelter under the roof of an abandoned house.  They were ticketed with trespassing which broke the agreement of his parole.  There is a warrant out for him.  He told us he was going to run.  We exhausted every chance to talk him out of it.  While we were at a restaurant in Texas, he called a friend to pick him up and disappeared with him.  This can't end well.  They may not want him bad enough to spend a lot of time looking for him, but we all know, that one day he will mess up.  Then the punishment will be more.  I can't blame him for not wanting to go back to prison.  He is so scarred from that nightmare.  I'm also afraid that he won't make it out of this alive.  That is really hard to say/write.  He is depressed about his situation; the girlfriend; the future.  How do you parent this child?   Where is the sage advice that I'm suppose to have?  I've got nothing.   I'm so mad at him and my heart is hurting for him at the same time.  I have no answers.  Only prayers.

Later.

Thank You

If this blog was a person, she would be model thin by now from lack of food.  I haven't been very consistent in feeding it lately.   I mostly use this to "talk to myself" and as a sounding board for the expert therapy that my "bloggy buddies" offer.  For both of those reasons, this has become very valuable to me.  I have made some sweet friends.  I have learned and grown from each of you.  I've learned about crafts and hobbies that look amazing and I want to try, will never try, could not possibly do or don't have a clue about.  I have learned family dynamics from other perspectives.  I've learned more about my own family dynamics through other eyes. 

Some of my biggest laughs have come from right here.  Some people just tell a story so well and I love to listen/read.  I've learned invaluable life lessons.  My eyes have been opened to different viewpoints and ways to live life.  You've cried with me through family losses and trials and I have cried with you for the same.  I've seen you grow as human beings and hopefully, you have seen me grow a little, too.

So, we are entering in to the Thanksgiving season.  Everyone is putting on their thankful.  I want to put mine out and tell you that I am thankful for you.  You are my own private, special friends.  You fill a special place in my heart and life.  You've offered me your hearts, you ears, your tears your guidance and your encouragement.  You've been an anchor and you've been my wings.  Thank you.

Later.

Another Life Lesson

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...."   WAIT!   There is sunshine!  Actually, the sun is shining really brightly and we can see it.   YEA!!!

Yep!  She's gone.   We took her to the bus station yesterday!  Whew!  Hub and I then went out for a celebratory breakfast.  I do feel just a little ashamed that I am so happy she has left, but it was just time.  She's not a bad girl, but this "failure to launch" problem needs to be handled by her family; not ours.  She has really set us back financially, not to mention the stress and fights that she has caused.   No more spending two hours of my day, much gas, and even more frustration every day getting her to and from a job.  #2 has been totally disgusted with us that she was living in our home.  She even gave us $200.  Let's see, $200 for supporting her for close to a year.   We should all find a deal like that.  Let me wipe the word sucker off of my forehead.

So...it is just the three of us in our home......until next Wednesday when a dear friend and her daughter are coming to visit for a few days.   Then the next day, #1 gets out of jail.  He will be here for a bit.  He has other legal issues to deal with.  Sigh......

We've had an "interesting" week in the financial world.  On Tuesday night, Hub received a call on his cell phone from the State Police.  They said, "Mr. ________, are you missing a check book?"  That's a question that will start your heart.  Since I'm the family banker, this immediately went to me.  I didn't understand as I keep a pretty good eye online of our accounts.  Well, to make a long story short, wrong Mr. _______.   But wait; it was our son.  When he moved out from the girl, he took his things and moved into a house with some other misfits for a while.  (Misfits is the nicest word that I can come up with.  Coke whore first came to mind.)  Anyway, he was just there for a few days and came to his senses.  Went back though and everything he had there was gone.  We're talking furniture, clothes, obviously checks, car keys, and even a car door that had been bought to work on his car.  Very expensive lesson.  Anyway, Hub told the police to lock up the people and throw away the key.  The account had been closed long ago, so there were no repercussions there.

The next day, I checked our account on-line.  I noted three charges from our debit card for purchases at a computer company .com amounting to about $400.   Whoa!   I called the company and they said that the orders were started in CA and were shipped to NH and PA.  The items had already shipped so there was no stopping the order.   They gave me the account number and marked the account as fraud.  Not much help to me.  Called the bank and they red carded my debit card so that it any other charges would be tagged.  Still doesn't help me get back my $400.  Went to the bank to start the process to "contest" the charges.  The manager had to cut up my debit card.  That hurt to watch.  Especially since my new one hasn't come in yet.  Then I had to go to the Police Station to file a report.  The detective takes one look at my statement and cheerfully says "Oh, I ordered a computer from them."   Congratulations.  Did you use my card?  He also let me know that probably not much would happen except show the bank that I am serious about getting my money back.  Not what I wanted to hear, but I appreciate his honesty.

So what have we learned from this experience?

1. Officer said that to use credit card versus debit card for online purchases.  It is easier to get a credit issued than try to get money back.
2. If you are trying to make a purchase online and there is an issue and it sends you back to the start to re-enter everything, stop right there.  You can be being sent to a hacker's site and never even know it.    (I actually had this happen 2-3 weeks ago, so I think this is when they got the numbers.)
3. Don't let anyone else use a debit card with your name on it.  The bank manager said that Visa may give us trouble because my husband had my card in his wallet for 2-3 days.  I'm the only one that carries our debit card.  We went out to eat the Sunday before and I didn't want to carry my purse.  I gave it to him and he put it in his wallet.  The restaurant even had him sign the ticket as sometimes happens when they run it through as a credit instead of a debit.  Proof positive that he had it for Visa.  Doesn't even matter that we are married and the card is on a joint account.  Isn't that nuts?
4. I hate mean, dishonest people.

Got to go finish cleaning the guest room and guest bathroom.

Later.

Call the "whambulance"!

Please pardon me while I whine "a little".   Could turn into a full blown rant, so hang on.  Let me get the bullets going.  (Not real bullets, silly.  Not yet anyway.)

• I have automatic notices set up if our bank accounts get below a certain level.  Got one of those e-mails on Wednesday.  Pulled up my account and there were three charges to a company called NewEgg.com.  Never heard of the company; never made the charges.  I called the company and told them that they were not ours.  They said that the orders had already shipped to New Hampshire and Pennsylvania but that they would tag the account.  Whoopee!  I'm still out $400.  I called the bank and they red lined my account.  I went up there to start the paperwork to challenge the charge.  She took my debit card and CUT IT UP!  (That hurt.)  She ordered me a new one with a different number but it will take a few days to get it.  I'm in withdrawal.  She said that my best hope was to demand that the company give me a refund.  She said the Visa may give us trouble as the card was not always in my possession.  Hub had it and used it part of last week.  Even though it is a joint account and we are married, that shows that I authorized someone else to use my card.  NUTS!  I did call the company back and tried everything, but nothing.  They said that the bank should not have approved it.  They could care less.  I went to the police station and filled a report.  The officer took one look at my statement and said "Oh, I bought a computer from them."  Congratulations.  He took the info but basically he admitted that we are just going through the motions.  He did give me a website to register this complaint that is put up by the FBI.  Funny thing though, Wednesday night several of us were waiting for the kids to get out of youth group.  I told someone what had happened and another gal said that the same thing happened to her husband last week.  Both of had 3 charges from the same company.  Can't figure this out as we use different banks and they were out of state most of the week.  Couldn't find anywhere that both of us had used our debit card.  Moral of this story:  Use a credit card instead of a debit.  Easier to get a credit than money.  Also, don't let hubby use a card with your name on it.
• Our youth group has been studying purity all month and we will have a purity banquet this Sunday.  They really want to make it nice and important for the kids.  They are dressing up as if for prom and everything is decorated very wedding-ish.  I love doing this type of thing.  Did it at our previous church.  A formal sit-down dinner for 2,000 of my closest friends was my pride and joy.  Came out beautifully if I say so myself.  We had such a good team.  I'm excited.  Then I find out....we have no budget.  No, zero, nada, nothing.  This is a small church and they are paying for purity rings for everyone.  That took it all.  So..I went shopping at ..My House, and then a friend's house.  Someone scoured the warehouse at church.  A new member just got married a couple of months ago.  She brought us tons of tulle.  We are pulling it all together.  Actually, I think it will be fine.  I've scoured Pinterest.
• I went this afternoon to Garden Ridge to pick up some ribbon, branches (I know, Viv.  I should of sprayed my own.), picks, etc.   Just a few things to finish out.  Had a good time with it and even found a roll of Christmas leopard print wire ribbon for me. (Score!)  Waited in a long line.  Checked e-mail.  Get to the check out.  Ooh.  Mama also want a piece of chocolate.  Adds up to $43.  Start to write a check...they don't take checks.  Remember, I don't have a debit card right now.  Pull out a credit card that I very seldom use and slide it.   It's expired.  I have like $11 in my purse.  I beg him not to put it back and I run out to try to find a bank.  It's 5:20 on a Friday afternoon and I still have to pick up our "guest that won't leave" at 5:30.  Don't see a branch of our bank around so I run to pick the girl up.  I start scanning my phone for a bank branch.  TRAFFIC GALORE!  Find one on the same street that she works on.   We fly out of there.  We go 10 minutes...in the wrong direction.  We turn around and are so hemmed in that at 5:58.. I gave up.  Actually, I'm about to cry.  We have a lot to do and people are meeting at the church at 10:30.  Problem is that #2 has his last baseball game tomorrow at 9:30.  We will be tied up until about noon.
• Well, and back to the girl.  This is my son's girlfriend that we have already supported and carted around since Christmas.  Yep, we're suckers.  She and our son have been broken up for over a month and we had told her that she could stay with us again instead of their ghetto house.  Just so she could get her things ready to moved to California and have some money to go.   Well the first weekend that she was with us, she came home on payday with lots of bags.  Seems that she needed some clothes and shoes.  (?)   Then, she was suppose to be out two weeks ago, but turns out that she was overdrawn at her bank.  Duh!   She kept getting bank notices every day and she just said that they were statements.  She wouldn't even open them.  So now it has been another two weeks.  She was to have gotten her check today.  Nope.  Won't be in until Monday.  She owes us money, too.  Actually a lot more but that's another story.  The way she talks, I think she is planning to go and hang out with her grandfather instead of living with her mother.  I came down on her tonight and told her she needs to step up and get a job and support herself wherever she lands.  And get a job close to her home.  I spend an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon round trip getting her to and from work.  Two hours of my day plus car expenses.  (Certify me now.)  I told her that even her mother would probably not do that for her.  She snapped back, "Well, sorry if I am such an inconvenience."  Hey, she finally got it!  I need my guest room.  I have a sweet friend that is dying to visit.  I've bought new pillows and everything to put out when she leaves.  So leave already!
• One more gripe about the girl (and my husband).   How come men are so easily manipulated by a young girl?  Her mother calls Hub telling him that she has never had a father figure and looks at him as her father.  (Barf!  Wonder where she learned manipulation.)  The girl plays it up big time.  You know when another woman is playing up your husband.  She tells me one thing and then cries on his shoulder with "the truth".   Of course, I get to play bitch to her poor little thing.   I'm really done. 

Okay.   I've gotten a bit of my whine out.   Wish I had some wine to go with it.  I'll try to make my next post more up.  Maybe I will tell you what a wonderful banquet we had.  Maybe I will tell you that the bank refunded my money plus interest for my trouble.   Maybe I will tell you that the Rangers won the World Series.  Maybe not.

Later.

Ladies, start your engines!

Busy, busy times.  October is the start of the “family season”.  Not only the Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s train gets rolling, but my son and husband have birthdays, there’s Halloween, and of course, in our house anyway, there is the World Series and the Super Bowl.  (Especially when the Texas Rangers are playing.  Go Rangers!)  I really enjoy decorating for fall, but somehow I seem to relate decorating for Christmas with high stress.  Every year I promise myself to do it differently; more sanely and more sweetly.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy the holidays; there is just so much expectation that goes along with it.  There are a lot of fun special opportunities.  There are parties.  Our church calendar is already filling up with fun and worthwhile service activities.  There are special things going on around town that we want to take advantage of.  Christmas movies are part of our traditions.  What is Christmas without “Rudolph”, “Frosty the Snowman”, “White Christmas”, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Christmas Vacation”?  Those are all part of our traditions.  It’s just so darn busy.  I am always so relieved when it is time to go to church on Christmas Eve.  That is when I know that whatever is done or not, there is no more I can do.  It also brings me back to what it’s all about.  Time to exhale.  Whew!  But for right now, “Women, start your engines.”

So in the interest of keeping connected, this is what has been going on:

·         #2 son turned 14.  OMG.  As soon as he studies and takes a test, he will be awarded a learner’s permit to drive.   Crazy stuff.  He was sick on his birthday and the day before.  He wanted only one thing for his birthday.  (How many times did I hear “only one thing”?  He’s not spoiled much. ) He wanted a 32” flat screen mounted in his room.  Good for him, Best Buy had a special on installation or that wouldn’t have happened.  He went on a weekend church retreat with 3 of his friends and his dad was a counselor, so I would say that he had a pretty good birthday.

·         A week ago today, #1 went to court for one of his escapades.  The attorney told him the day before that he may not get a plea bargain as he had chosen not to respond when they sent him one.  The sentence could be as much as 9 years.  Luckily, he received 30 days and 5 years of probation.  He will get out just in time to appear for his next issue.  This never gets any easier.  I just try to remove myself from it.  Sometimes, I can actually do it.  Only sometimes. 

·         He and the girlfriend are going separate ways.  We had told her that she could stay with us while she got things ready to move to California with her mother.  We didn’t want her to stay by herself in the ghetto home they had rented.  But now I am really ready for her to go.  You have to push her with everything.  Yes, I am pushing.  We’ve supported her for 7 months.  That’s plenty.

·         Hub’s birthday is this Friday.  He is getting his “birthday weirdness” on.  He is such a girl some times.  We had a big party last year since he turned 60.  This year, not so much.  I couldn’t even invite his sis as our guest room has someone living in it.  L

·         Our youth group had a lock/in/out/down this past weekend.  #2 invited 5 of his friends to go.  They needed another chaperone so I went.  I intended to just stay until about 2 a.m. but ended up staying all night.  We started at the church and then went bowling and had pizza.  Then we went ice skating and broom ball.  Maybe I should say they went ice skating.  I did bowl though (and rather well I might say).  We went back to the church about 5 and a sweet mom was there with eggs, hot biscuits and sausage gravy.  I’m not usually a gravy person, but I have to admit it was really tasty.  I came home, took a Tylenol PM and slept until about 12:30.  Then we went to a “wienie” roast, hayride, and bonfire out in the beautiful country.  So beautiful and so much fun.  I love the people at our church…and toasted marshmallows, too.

·         Don’t know if I mentioned it or not, but I did find a new home for my grand dog.  Everyone promised to, but didn’t.  I finally put her on Craigslist and actually had several responses.  I’m sure she is much happier and I know that I am.

Hope you guys are enjoying the fall.  Have you discovered Pinterest?  It is my newest obsession.  If you haven’t decorated for fall, just go there.   I’m sure you will be inspired.

Later.