Call the "whambulance"!

Please pardon me while I whine "a little".   Could turn into a full blown rant, so hang on.  Let me get the bullets going.  (Not real bullets, silly.  Not yet anyway.)

• I have automatic notices set up if our bank accounts get below a certain level.  Got one of those e-mails on Wednesday.  Pulled up my account and there were three charges to a company called NewEgg.com.  Never heard of the company; never made the charges.  I called the company and told them that they were not ours.  They said that the orders had already shipped to New Hampshire and Pennsylvania but that they would tag the account.  Whoopee!  I'm still out $400.  I called the bank and they red lined my account.  I went up there to start the paperwork to challenge the charge.  She took my debit card and CUT IT UP!  (That hurt.)  She ordered me a new one with a different number but it will take a few days to get it.  I'm in withdrawal.  She said that my best hope was to demand that the company give me a refund.  She said the Visa may give us trouble as the card was not always in my possession.  Hub had it and used it part of last week.  Even though it is a joint account and we are married, that shows that I authorized someone else to use my card.  NUTS!  I did call the company back and tried everything, but nothing.  They said that the bank should not have approved it.  They could care less.  I went to the police station and filled a report.  The officer took one look at my statement and said "Oh, I bought a computer from them."  Congratulations.  He took the info but basically he admitted that we are just going through the motions.  He did give me a website to register this complaint that is put up by the FBI.  Funny thing though, Wednesday night several of us were waiting for the kids to get out of youth group.  I told someone what had happened and another gal said that the same thing happened to her husband last week.  Both of had 3 charges from the same company.  Can't figure this out as we use different banks and they were out of state most of the week.  Couldn't find anywhere that both of us had used our debit card.  Moral of this story:  Use a credit card instead of a debit.  Easier to get a credit than money.  Also, don't let hubby use a card with your name on it.
• Our youth group has been studying purity all month and we will have a purity banquet this Sunday.  They really want to make it nice and important for the kids.  They are dressing up as if for prom and everything is decorated very wedding-ish.  I love doing this type of thing.  Did it at our previous church.  A formal sit-down dinner for 2,000 of my closest friends was my pride and joy.  Came out beautifully if I say so myself.  We had such a good team.  I'm excited.  Then I find out....we have no budget.  No, zero, nada, nothing.  This is a small church and they are paying for purity rings for everyone.  That took it all.  So..I went shopping at ..My House, and then a friend's house.  Someone scoured the warehouse at church.  A new member just got married a couple of months ago.  She brought us tons of tulle.  We are pulling it all together.  Actually, I think it will be fine.  I've scoured Pinterest.
• I went this afternoon to Garden Ridge to pick up some ribbon, branches (I know, Viv.  I should of sprayed my own.), picks, etc.   Just a few things to finish out.  Had a good time with it and even found a roll of Christmas leopard print wire ribbon for me. (Score!)  Waited in a long line.  Checked e-mail.  Get to the check out.  Ooh.  Mama also want a piece of chocolate.  Adds up to $43.  Start to write a check...they don't take checks.  Remember, I don't have a debit card right now.  Pull out a credit card that I very seldom use and slide it.   It's expired.  I have like $11 in my purse.  I beg him not to put it back and I run out to try to find a bank.  It's 5:20 on a Friday afternoon and I still have to pick up our "guest that won't leave" at 5:30.  Don't see a branch of our bank around so I run to pick the girl up.  I start scanning my phone for a bank branch.  TRAFFIC GALORE!  Find one on the same street that she works on.   We fly out of there.  We go 10 minutes...in the wrong direction.  We turn around and are so hemmed in that at 5:58.. I gave up.  Actually, I'm about to cry.  We have a lot to do and people are meeting at the church at 10:30.  Problem is that #2 has his last baseball game tomorrow at 9:30.  We will be tied up until about noon.
• Well, and back to the girl.  This is my son's girlfriend that we have already supported and carted around since Christmas.  Yep, we're suckers.  She and our son have been broken up for over a month and we had told her that she could stay with us again instead of their ghetto house.  Just so she could get her things ready to moved to California and have some money to go.   Well the first weekend that she was with us, she came home on payday with lots of bags.  Seems that she needed some clothes and shoes.  (?)   Then, she was suppose to be out two weeks ago, but turns out that she was overdrawn at her bank.  Duh!   She kept getting bank notices every day and she just said that they were statements.  She wouldn't even open them.  So now it has been another two weeks.  She was to have gotten her check today.  Nope.  Won't be in until Monday.  She owes us money, too.  Actually a lot more but that's another story.  The way she talks, I think she is planning to go and hang out with her grandfather instead of living with her mother.  I came down on her tonight and told her she needs to step up and get a job and support herself wherever she lands.  And get a job close to her home.  I spend an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon round trip getting her to and from work.  Two hours of my day plus car expenses.  (Certify me now.)  I told her that even her mother would probably not do that for her.  She snapped back, "Well, sorry if I am such an inconvenience."  Hey, she finally got it!  I need my guest room.  I have a sweet friend that is dying to visit.  I've bought new pillows and everything to put out when she leaves.  So leave already!
• One more gripe about the girl (and my husband).   How come men are so easily manipulated by a young girl?  Her mother calls Hub telling him that she has never had a father figure and looks at him as her father.  (Barf!  Wonder where she learned manipulation.)  The girl plays it up big time.  You know when another woman is playing up your husband.  She tells me one thing and then cries on his shoulder with "the truth".   Of course, I get to play bitch to her poor little thing.   I'm really done. 

Okay.   I've gotten a bit of my whine out.   Wish I had some wine to go with it.  I'll try to make my next post more up.  Maybe I will tell you what a wonderful banquet we had.  Maybe I will tell you that the bank refunded my money plus interest for my trouble.   Maybe I will tell you that the Rangers won the World Series.  Maybe not.

Later.

Ladies, start your engines!

Busy, busy times.  October is the start of the “family season”.  Not only the Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s train gets rolling, but my son and husband have birthdays, there’s Halloween, and of course, in our house anyway, there is the World Series and the Super Bowl.  (Especially when the Texas Rangers are playing.  Go Rangers!)  I really enjoy decorating for fall, but somehow I seem to relate decorating for Christmas with high stress.  Every year I promise myself to do it differently; more sanely and more sweetly.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy the holidays; there is just so much expectation that goes along with it.  There are a lot of fun special opportunities.  There are parties.  Our church calendar is already filling up with fun and worthwhile service activities.  There are special things going on around town that we want to take advantage of.  Christmas movies are part of our traditions.  What is Christmas without “Rudolph”, “Frosty the Snowman”, “White Christmas”, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Christmas Vacation”?  Those are all part of our traditions.  It’s just so darn busy.  I am always so relieved when it is time to go to church on Christmas Eve.  That is when I know that whatever is done or not, there is no more I can do.  It also brings me back to what it’s all about.  Time to exhale.  Whew!  But for right now, “Women, start your engines.”

So in the interest of keeping connected, this is what has been going on:

·         #2 son turned 14.  OMG.  As soon as he studies and takes a test, he will be awarded a learner’s permit to drive.   Crazy stuff.  He was sick on his birthday and the day before.  He wanted only one thing for his birthday.  (How many times did I hear “only one thing”?  He’s not spoiled much. ) He wanted a 32” flat screen mounted in his room.  Good for him, Best Buy had a special on installation or that wouldn’t have happened.  He went on a weekend church retreat with 3 of his friends and his dad was a counselor, so I would say that he had a pretty good birthday.

·         A week ago today, #1 went to court for one of his escapades.  The attorney told him the day before that he may not get a plea bargain as he had chosen not to respond when they sent him one.  The sentence could be as much as 9 years.  Luckily, he received 30 days and 5 years of probation.  He will get out just in time to appear for his next issue.  This never gets any easier.  I just try to remove myself from it.  Sometimes, I can actually do it.  Only sometimes. 

·         He and the girlfriend are going separate ways.  We had told her that she could stay with us while she got things ready to move to California with her mother.  We didn’t want her to stay by herself in the ghetto home they had rented.  But now I am really ready for her to go.  You have to push her with everything.  Yes, I am pushing.  We’ve supported her for 7 months.  That’s plenty.

·         Hub’s birthday is this Friday.  He is getting his “birthday weirdness” on.  He is such a girl some times.  We had a big party last year since he turned 60.  This year, not so much.  I couldn’t even invite his sis as our guest room has someone living in it.  L

·         Our youth group had a lock/in/out/down this past weekend.  #2 invited 5 of his friends to go.  They needed another chaperone so I went.  I intended to just stay until about 2 a.m. but ended up staying all night.  We started at the church and then went bowling and had pizza.  Then we went ice skating and broom ball.  Maybe I should say they went ice skating.  I did bowl though (and rather well I might say).  We went back to the church about 5 and a sweet mom was there with eggs, hot biscuits and sausage gravy.  I’m not usually a gravy person, but I have to admit it was really tasty.  I came home, took a Tylenol PM and slept until about 12:30.  Then we went to a “wienie” roast, hayride, and bonfire out in the beautiful country.  So beautiful and so much fun.  I love the people at our church…and toasted marshmallows, too.

·         Don’t know if I mentioned it or not, but I did find a new home for my grand dog.  Everyone promised to, but didn’t.  I finally put her on Craigslist and actually had several responses.  I’m sure she is much happier and I know that I am.

Hope you guys are enjoying the fall.  Have you discovered Pinterest?  It is my newest obsession.  If you haven’t decorated for fall, just go there.   I’m sure you will be inspired.

Later.

She chose life.

Fourteen years ago today, I stood outside of a hospital room door praying and waiting.  Waiting to hear the first cries of a baby.  Not any baby.  My baby.  My little boy.  The 2nd little baby that we had longed for, planned for, prayed for, and waited for.  We had already been there for about 12 hours before we heard his wails.  It was still 20-30 minutes before Hub and I got to go in and meet him.  Love at first sight?  No.  I already loved this little one.  I had sat in for several hours by the mother that would give him birth, just listening to the music of his heart beating.  It was strong and beautiful.  I had been getting to know his birth family for about two months, but hearing the sounds of his beating heart.....well, it took my breath away.  Before then, I was in love with the dream of a baby.  At that point, I fell in love with him.  He responded to me, too.  When I would speak, he would turn his face to me.  Did he know that I was the mother who would enjoy his smiles, kiss his tears away and love him forever?  I like to think so. 

At the same time that I was standing there in awe of this little baby, there was another mother who was starting down a path of intense emotional pain.  I really don't think that she comprehended how intense her feelings would be.  In all of my joy, I hurt for her.  Nine months earlier, this was her nightmare outcome after spending an evening with a co-worker.  A life changer and a deal breaker in her plans of college and career.  She could have handled her "little problem" differently, but she chose life.  Thank God she chose life.  Her first motherly decision.  Now she looked for a plan.  She contacted an agency with experience in this to guide her.  There was counselling, meetings, paperwork and health appointments.  Every day, she chose life.  She read through stacks of profiles and poured through albums of pictures that were there to introduce her to prospective parents.   She looked through trying to make a connection.  Trying to see something in there that would lead her to feel drawn to this couple to parent her child.  A huge responsibility for anyone, much less a 20 year old.  But still, she chose life.  Now though, she had to put an action to her plan.  Now there was this beautiful, squirmy, helpless little human being looking up at her.  She was touching baby hands and smelling baby smells.  She would put her cheek next to the soft hair on his head.  She felt the beating heart that we had been hearing.  Now it was real with ten little fingers and ten little toes.  Could she really do it?   She wasn't so sure.  She liked our family.  We had a growing connection.   I think she felt good about her decision to choose us, but now the issue was letting him go home with someone else.  Would she be able to sleep not knowing if he was in bed or sleeping or comfortable?   What if she was wrong about us?  What if some day he held this decision against her?  What if?   What if she hadn't chosen life?"

We had a unity ceremony in the chapel of the hospital before we left.  This was to celebrate this child and our two families coming together for his good.   There was just a few special people there, but not the birth mother.  She was late.  Then, she was really late.  The case worker came down to tell us that she had not signed the needed papers and that she wasn't positive that she even would.  Our hearts were being ripped out of our chests.  For ourselves, for this precious innocent baby and for her.  I knew her pain would be intense, but I hadn't seen this coming.  I'm sure she didn't either.  After an eternity of an hour jplus twenty, we received the news that she had signed.  Then she, her mother and the baby came down to the chapel.  She was pale with swollen, red eyes.  She was stoic, yet fragile at the same time.  We had our little celebration ceremony.  Poems were read; prayers were said; she and I both lit a unity candle as two mothers united over one little boy.  We hugged, we cried; we passed the baby back and forth between us, and we hurt together at her feelings of  loss.  Still, she had chosen life.  The hardest decision that she could make but a selfless decision in the best interest of a very, very loved little boy.

I'm sure that she is remembering that day today as well.  She now has a daughter and is pregnant with another little girl.  Her life is good.  I don't think that she regrets anything that she went through for our baby.  She may even hold her daughters just a little tighter because of him. 

So now we are the parents of a smart, funny, silly, charming, SPOILED fourteen year old.   He can't wait for us to go to his favorite Mexican food restaurant tonight.  Today has been all about him.  (Of course, most days are but that's another story.)  He has brought our family so much love, smiles and joy.  I thank God for him every day.  All because she chose life.  God bless her always.

Later.

Another "Only in Arkansas" moment

There is something about small towns that can be so fun.  We went to the high school football game on Friday night.  Perfect football weather.  Cool and crisp.  The stands were full.  People support the kids here.  They have fun traditions.  Here after every home team touchdown, the cheerleaders drop on the track and do as many push ups as the score.  Poor girls.  The score Friday night was 45-35.  I'm sure those girls were exhausted.

This also game me another chapter in "Only in Arkansas".   The sports announcer started talking about "Cow Chip Bingo".   HUH?   New one for me!   The guy next to me was surprised that I didn't know what this was.  (Go figure!)   So anyway, you buy a square on a scoreboard.   I have no idea how many there are, but I imagine there are quite a few.  Then they take the baseball field and grid it off in corresponding squares.   Next is the great part!   They bring in a COW and let him loose on the field.  The owner of the square where the cow makes poo (moo-poo, I guess) will be the winner of $1500.  I kid you not.   He says that the announcer will give updates during the game ie. "No winner yet."  "The cow hasn't gone yet."   Isn't that hysterical?   Only in Arkansas!

Later.

The Help: the movie and my truth

The Help.     Have you read it?  Have you seen the movie?  Did you love both?  I certainly did.  It’s now one of my favorite movies.

Movies set in the 60’s are so fun for me.  Not exactly the Beach Blanket Bingo types, although they are fun, too.  I love to see the ones that show the inside of the homes and the popular things of the time.  I was a little girl then.   It’s fun to go back and remember things of childhood.  How things looked; what we did; what we ate, how we entertained. Looking at the set from The Help, I saw things that were in my parent’s home.  Familiar things:  metal TV trays with flowers painted on them, black & white televisions, cat-eyed eyeglasses with rhinestones.  I never had glasses back then but boy did I want them.   

I was also very aware of all the cigarette smoking in the movie.  Back then, it was an accepted thing.  There were ashtrays everywhere.  We had some in our house.  My dad smoked a pipe but he was the only one that lived in our house that smoked.  People would come over and never think anything about lighting up.  I remember cleaning the ashtrays afterwards and thinking how much they smelled, but we would have never asked someone not to light up.  That was the way it was at the time.  It was an accepted thing in homes and at work.  We didn’t make special place for them to smoke; we put ashtrays all over so that it would be convenient for them.  We were more concerned about ashes on the floor and furniture.   News reporters always smoked.  It made them look more serious and smart.  (We thought.)  Beautiful girls in gowns and in clubs always smoked and sometimes had a long cigarette holder.  It made them look sophisticated and sexy.  (We thought.)

The Help also brought to the forefront, and sometimes uncovered, the relationships of households and “their help”.  It is probably good for us to be reminded of how far we have come.  In every society, there have been injustices that will be or have been corrected as we become more sensitive and aware of the issues.  Lots of sympathetic tears were shed as we watched characters that we got to know and appreciate be treated as lesser human beings.  I cried.  Me, a Southerner that grew up with a wonderful lady coming into our home a few days a week to “help”.  Did she raise me?  No.  Did we build her a separate toilet?   No way.  I presumed she used the only one in our home.  I don’t know.  Never thought about it.  Did I love her?  Yes.  She was a fun, happy person with a great smile who was in my life.  I followed her around and was reminded many, many times by my mother to stay out of her way.  Did I consider her our maid, housekeeper, help, lesser person?  She was Callie.  Just Callie.  She came to my house and I loved her.  We also had a black man that worked at my daddy’s business for many years.  He was actually a very respected pastor in the largest colored church in the area.  My dad and he talked “Bible” all the time.  They were good friends with a mutual respect.  Still, they were on different paths.

My point is to just put out there a little disclaimer about the movie.  While the behavior of the families depicted was appalling and inexcusable, some of these relationships were “just the way it was”.  My parents would never treat anyone that way no matter their job and would have totally punished me if I had.  Still, it was an accepted fact then that black men and women generally worked for white people.   Sadly, these were the roles we were put in just by the color of our skin.  I remember “colored” restrooms and “colored” water fountains.  Blacks were directed to them just as we would direct people to the men’s room or ladies’ room.  As a white girl, I never thought about that they couldn’t use our facilities.  It was just that the other was theirs.  The thing is that generally, and as far I knew, most black people accepted that as theirs, too.  Black children had to question why things were separate, but for the most part, they were taught just like the white kids, that they just were.  I can’t imagine how they felt.  Still, we were operating in total ignorance.  One generation teaches the next until it is finally questioned and change happens.  That generation wasn’t made up of bad people; just black and white people both acting and living by the guidelines of that time.

So, read the book and go see the movie.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.   It’s an important story told very well.  Although a fictional story, similar things really did happen and were really, really wrong.  But just as in our ignorance about smoking and its effect, know that for the most part, this was the accepted standard that was in place at the time.    We should have all had the questioning of “Skeeter” in us and the bravery of “Aibileen”.

I (heart) pink - Part 2.

After baseball today, Hubby, my 23 and 13 year old sons and my son's friend (also 13) wanted to go to a pizza/game place.  The guys were running around playing lazer tag and winning tickets off of games like little kids.  They came back to the table with huge grins to show me that they each had a "I (heart) boobies" bracelet on.  They had them over at the prize counter.  Sometimes you just can't win.  Oh well.  Guess it's my job now to make sure the 13 year old boys are educated as to what the bracelets all stand for. 

As far my 23 year old,  well, he just likes boobies.

Later.

I (heart) pink.

Thought you might enjoyed a conversation between my son and I the other day.

Son:  Mom, I want to buy a wristband that says "I (heart) Boobies".
Me:   What?  No. 
Son:  But Mo-o-o-om!  It's just to support breast cancer awareness.
Me:  You're 13.  You will have to show your support another way.  Wear pink.

Sorry.  I just couldn't handle that one.   He may have wanted to help as one of his teachers from last year does have breast cancer.  But he is a 13 year old, walking, talking, raging male hormone.  I'm not totally buying his "awareness" reason.

Besides, he looks really good in pink.   Let him wear pink.

Later.