Happy Birthday to me!!!!

So-o-o-o-o today is my birthday. One of those days where you wonder why am I not all of those things that I thought I would be when I was older. Wise, rich, pampered, successful, or course beautiful, and married to an amazing man and give birth to 2.3 perfect children. Not to sound too whiny, I am close to some of these things. Wise - I was in the National Honor Society in high school, but totally suck at Jeopardy now. Rich - sometimes more comfortable than others. Pampered - depends on who you ask. Successful - it's all relative. I am married to a sometimes amazing man and have two sons and a step-daughter that is seldom here so I guess that makes 2.3 children. Couldn't do the "give birth" part, but two other women could and lovingly put their sons in my arms.

Anyway, I expected all of those things. But at this stage in my life and on this day I didn't expect my sometimes amazing husband to be between jobs and having a hard time finding a new one because he has worked all of his life to get to a good level and then it penalizes you. I didn't expect that out of my 2.3 children that one beautiful little girl would be a totally self-centered adult that would break her father's heart by mostly ignoring him except at her birthday and Christmas and of course there's the big wedding for the short lived marriage. I didn't expect that one of my beautiful boys would become addicted to drugs as a teenager, end up in jail and then prison for an impulsive, stupid decision.

What I have learned is that everyone that I get close enough to really know has to deal with this "life stuff" too. We are not close to losing our home or going into foreclosure like so many people that I hear of. We seem to keep finding a little unexpected funds here and there and I have faith that it will work out for the best. I work with a young, single mother who is fighting breast cancer (with no insurance) and hanging on for her young children. We all are healthy and even still have insurance secured for two more months. My child may be in prison, but it probably saved him from overdosing on drugs. He is still alive. Hopefully, he will be home very soon. He will have his scars, some for the better, but he is coming home in one piece and not from a war. I have another son who has brought us much hope for the future and taught us the joy of baseball. All of these children are loved more than life itself. They are each a gift to my soul. Born in my heart, not my body.

The bottom line to me today is that I am older (big deal), I have a few things going on but much more to be thankful for. I am blessed. I am blessed with the love of a husband who is in the next room right now playing board games with our friend's kindergartner that we are babysitting this morning......and he's enjoying it! I am blessed by the hope of my son returning home very soon a new person. I am blessed with a healthy talented little boy that can hit a baseball out of the park.

So happy birthday to me. Never thought I'd be this old. Thought the same thing at 25! :) Thanks to the ONE who gave me life. Thanks to all the people in my life. Those who will never, ever read this and those who do.

Later.