I'm not doing very good at keeping this thing up lately. Seems like I have been doing a lot of complaining lately. I'm sure you are as bored of it as I am. I'll just get this out of the way....(1) No. There is no job yet. We are praying hard that we will hear an offer back from one that he interviewed with last week. It seemed like a really good company. (2) Nothing new yet with our son. We will call early tomorrow morning to make sure he is still there, and if he has not been moved, we will go to visit him.
I did have something kind of different happen on Friday. We were to have pictures made for the church directory on Friday night, so that morning I decided it was time to stress over what the family had to wear that would be coordinated. I had to run an errand and coming home decided to swing by a store I found recently that had some really cute tops....cheap. (Chrissa, remind me to tell you where this is.) Anyway, I was deep in thought but I do remember hearing a police siren do one of those short whirls but didn't look to see where it was at. When I turned around to backup into a parking space by the street, right behind me in the street were two police cars with the officers crouching behind their open doors, GUNS PULLED and yelling at someone in a pulled over car ahead of them to get out with their hands up. CRAP!!! I saw someone throw something out of the car (may have been a gun) but no one was getting out. I didn't know whether to get out of there (didn't want to cause any distractions), to duck down or what. So I sat there and watched. Finally, a young guy got out and they had him back up to them with his hands up (his pants falling down as he walks backwards) and then knell down so that they could cuff him and put him in a squad car. Still they are yelling and the guns are pulled. There was someone else in the car. YIKES! Now there are two more police cars there. After a while a woman got out and they did the same thing to her. I felt a bit sorry for her because she was a really big woman and I knew it was hard for here to get down. It took two officers to get her back up. They still have their guns drawn on the car. Two officers crept up while the others covered them to see if there was anyone else. No one else was in the car so they finally put up their guns. Anyway, that was a whole lot more excitement than I had bargained for. I'm guessing that the people may have been running from the Target store that was close by. And yes....I did go in after that and bought myself a cute top. A girl has to stay focused!
We did something fun the other night, too. We had a gift card to one of my favorite Italian restaurants so Hub and I decided to take advantage of my son being away at a sleepover. We were both a little down, but we got a really great waiter and he, the wine and the great food took our minds off of it. Then Hub suggested that we go to the nearby theatre and see "Sex in the City". (He is a closet fan of the show.) It didn't start for over an hour, so we went home, pottied, etc. and decided to go back. It was the late show and there was only one more man and several girlfriend twosomes there. The movie wasn't epic but if you are a fan, you have to see it. Lots of nudes scenes though including all the lead characters except for Sarah Jessica Parker. Hub didn't mind that too much! We haven't seen much other than child-friendly movies in a long time. Anyway, it was a fun date! It did feel strange to come home from a movie at almost 1 a.m. without any children to carry up to bed.
Hope everyone had a good Father's Day and that the "appropriate" men felt honored. We had a pretty good day and finished it with a barbecue with the neighbors. That's always fun.
Later.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Today (or actually now yesterday) I have been on my bottom all day. Not in the same place but on my bottom. Ouch!
We drove this morning to see our oldest son. It's an hour fifteen each way and then we had a 2 hour visit with him. Then we drove to check out some store locations for a company that is talking to Hub about working for them. One was on the way and the other in the other direction in Dallas. He finally is having a little activity and has - at least the possibility - of some options. Thank you, Lord!
Then we had a fast food lunch (more sitting) and then took our son to the movies while we were in Dallas. (mucho more sitting) Took awhile getting home from Dallas in rush hour traffic and then had to come in and check e-mails, job boards, etc. (sitting again) And I almost forgot that the Bachelorette and then The Mole was on tonight, so-o-o-o-o Hub and I SAT in front of the TV to watch. I guess I need to stand up all day tomorrow (today).
The movie we went to see was Prince Caspian. Thought it was pretty good. Hub was so excited and so proud then my 10 year old could tell him what all the character names were and what was going on. Hub loved reading the Narnia books to the boys and it was neat to see it come alive for them.
Funny this happened tonight while we were watching the Bachelorette. My son was down the street playing with his best friend. The friend's little sis (6) came down here banging on the door. She said her parents wanted us to come over for cake. Her daddy's birthday is Tuesday and he will fly out that morning on business. We had grilled steak and shrimp at their house on Saturday night and we had gone ahead and taken him his present. (A giant bag of grilling stuff - seemed appropriate.) We were actually a little frustrated that they wanted to do this in the middle of our program, and they watch it to, but oh well. I freshened up and we walked over. The little girl opened the door and I could see through the window that the parents were on the deck watching TV. We said hi but knew something wasn't right. The little girl had come and invited us without asking and had told them just before we rang the doorbell. They were obviously relaxing in back. I'm not sure who was most embaressed. The sweet people that they were, they were getting up and running around trying to make up something special. Anyway, we appologized, they apologized and everyone was embaressed. We said hey - we wanted to watch the Bachalorette anyway and went back home.
We went home laughing and then (like I predicted) the little girl was back on our doorstep bearing cheesecake. Anyway, I thought it was a fun chapter in rasing children.
Laer.
We drove this morning to see our oldest son. It's an hour fifteen each way and then we had a 2 hour visit with him. Then we drove to check out some store locations for a company that is talking to Hub about working for them. One was on the way and the other in the other direction in Dallas. He finally is having a little activity and has - at least the possibility - of some options. Thank you, Lord!
Then we had a fast food lunch (more sitting) and then took our son to the movies while we were in Dallas. (mucho more sitting) Took awhile getting home from Dallas in rush hour traffic and then had to come in and check e-mails, job boards, etc. (sitting again) And I almost forgot that the Bachelorette and then The Mole was on tonight, so-o-o-o-o Hub and I SAT in front of the TV to watch. I guess I need to stand up all day tomorrow (today).
The movie we went to see was Prince Caspian. Thought it was pretty good. Hub was so excited and so proud then my 10 year old could tell him what all the character names were and what was going on. Hub loved reading the Narnia books to the boys and it was neat to see it come alive for them.
Funny this happened tonight while we were watching the Bachelorette. My son was down the street playing with his best friend. The friend's little sis (6) came down here banging on the door. She said her parents wanted us to come over for cake. Her daddy's birthday is Tuesday and he will fly out that morning on business. We had grilled steak and shrimp at their house on Saturday night and we had gone ahead and taken him his present. (A giant bag of grilling stuff - seemed appropriate.) We were actually a little frustrated that they wanted to do this in the middle of our program, and they watch it to, but oh well. I freshened up and we walked over. The little girl opened the door and I could see through the window that the parents were on the deck watching TV. We said hi but knew something wasn't right. The little girl had come and invited us without asking and had told them just before we rang the doorbell. They were obviously relaxing in back. I'm not sure who was most embaressed. The sweet people that they were, they were getting up and running around trying to make up something special. Anyway, we appologized, they apologized and everyone was embaressed. We said hey - we wanted to watch the Bachalorette anyway and went back home.
We went home laughing and then (like I predicted) the little girl was back on our doorstep bearing cheesecake. Anyway, I thought it was a fun chapter in rasing children.
Laer.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
School's out and other tidbits.
All the signs point to the fact we skipped spring and summer is here. School's are out, extra kids are in and out of the house, the days are already in the mid-90's, we've been to the water park, we are on probably our 3rd watermelon, we had to have the a/c repairman out, been bit by mosquitoes, and have tanned/peeling skin. Yep, it's summer! Eat your heart out Canadians! ;)
Our microwave went out this past weekend and my family has been lost. I hate to admit that when it stopped working, I was heating water for my morning instant cappuccino. For a minute, I panicked that I wouldn't have my morning hit. Then I remembered that MAYBE I could heat water on the stove. Imagine that. Did I ever tell you I was blond?????
Most of my today was spent trying to find a microwave that would fit in our "built-in" spot. Never dreamed this would be so hard. We wanted to save money and use the same "built-in" kit that we have. Those things are $100-200 for just a vent. To do that, I had to find a microwave of the exact same measurements. I did a lot of research on line, but didn't find much that would fit. I went out today and finally found a good oven (on sale, of course) that would be a tight, but workable fit. After I got it home, it turns out that the oven will work with the vent, but that the pieces that hold it up inside won't work. We still have to buy another installation kit. That's what I get.
Monday, we saw my 10 year old graduate from elementary school. He was just a baby when he started there. He is so big now. It has been such a good school. I will miss the teachers there and the elementary atmosphere.
After graduation, we went to see our other son in prison. One end of the spectrum to the other. Just a week ago, we had expected to go there on Monday and bring him home with us. Now it will be close to Christmas. We have followed every avenue that we can to get this re-evaluated, but we have reached dead ends everywhere. Maybe we need to visit the governor's office.... I'm really proud of my son though. He is trying really hard to remain positive and get through this. I know that he is putting on a brave face for us sometimes. We got a letter from him today and it really showed how far he's come. It was quite mature. I guess I need to take a lesson from him.
Hub had a job interview today. YEA!!! Not sure if this is the one, but it lifted his spirits so that was good. We will see what happens. This one doesn't pay as much as we are use to, but he may be happier with it. Pros and cons both ways. If he takes it, I will probably need to go back to work. YIKES! He has another lead that we both really like the company and should pay well, but it would probably mean an out-of-state move. They haven't offered it, but that would be a tough call due to our son. Anyway, I know the Lord will take care of us, but I'm just feeling weary about the whole situation.
On a much lighter note, today was that day when you wake up and know that you HAVE to have a haircut TODAY!!!!! I have been been disappointed in my haircuts the last few times and needed to find someone else. I tried to get in with a stylist a friend uses, but no go. I was just about to go to the old place when I decided to be brave. I knew there had to be a shop in a newer shopping center close to the house and decided to take a chance. Anyway, found one, went in and was greeted by the cutest guy named Scott. Now I probably have shoes older than this guy and he is so cute I'm sure he's probably gay, but this kid can shampoo. He actually did a pretty good job on the haircut and paid attention to what I wanted. We will see tomorrow when it is my turn to shampoo and dry what kind of haircut I really have. But for today.....I like my Scott.
Later.
Our microwave went out this past weekend and my family has been lost. I hate to admit that when it stopped working, I was heating water for my morning instant cappuccino. For a minute, I panicked that I wouldn't have my morning hit. Then I remembered that MAYBE I could heat water on the stove. Imagine that. Did I ever tell you I was blond?????
Most of my today was spent trying to find a microwave that would fit in our "built-in" spot. Never dreamed this would be so hard. We wanted to save money and use the same "built-in" kit that we have. Those things are $100-200 for just a vent. To do that, I had to find a microwave of the exact same measurements. I did a lot of research on line, but didn't find much that would fit. I went out today and finally found a good oven (on sale, of course) that would be a tight, but workable fit. After I got it home, it turns out that the oven will work with the vent, but that the pieces that hold it up inside won't work. We still have to buy another installation kit. That's what I get.
Monday, we saw my 10 year old graduate from elementary school. He was just a baby when he started there. He is so big now. It has been such a good school. I will miss the teachers there and the elementary atmosphere.
After graduation, we went to see our other son in prison. One end of the spectrum to the other. Just a week ago, we had expected to go there on Monday and bring him home with us. Now it will be close to Christmas. We have followed every avenue that we can to get this re-evaluated, but we have reached dead ends everywhere. Maybe we need to visit the governor's office.... I'm really proud of my son though. He is trying really hard to remain positive and get through this. I know that he is putting on a brave face for us sometimes. We got a letter from him today and it really showed how far he's come. It was quite mature. I guess I need to take a lesson from him.
Hub had a job interview today. YEA!!! Not sure if this is the one, but it lifted his spirits so that was good. We will see what happens. This one doesn't pay as much as we are use to, but he may be happier with it. Pros and cons both ways. If he takes it, I will probably need to go back to work. YIKES! He has another lead that we both really like the company and should pay well, but it would probably mean an out-of-state move. They haven't offered it, but that would be a tough call due to our son. Anyway, I know the Lord will take care of us, but I'm just feeling weary about the whole situation.
On a much lighter note, today was that day when you wake up and know that you HAVE to have a haircut TODAY!!!!! I have been been disappointed in my haircuts the last few times and needed to find someone else. I tried to get in with a stylist a friend uses, but no go. I was just about to go to the old place when I decided to be brave. I knew there had to be a shop in a newer shopping center close to the house and decided to take a chance. Anyway, found one, went in and was greeted by the cutest guy named Scott. Now I probably have shoes older than this guy and he is so cute I'm sure he's probably gay, but this kid can shampoo. He actually did a pretty good job on the haircut and paid attention to what I wanted. We will see tomorrow when it is my turn to shampoo and dry what kind of haircut I really have. But for today.....I like my Scott.
Later.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
I've been found out.
Yesterday, was a tough day. As I have said before my older son is in prison and should be getting out really soon.....we thought. About a month ago, he was granted an early release that read he would be released after June 1. We have all been thrilled with anticipation that he would be home next Monday. I called yesterday to make sure that it had been placed on the calendar and was told that it had been denied. They go over everything one more time before release and it was decided that he had not been following all the rules. We are going to make a couple of calls today and see what we can find out about the due process. I got the numbers yesterday but thought it would be better to wait a day and pull our thoughts somewhat together. We are totally crushed.
My son got to make a call last night and we had to be the ones to tell him. He hasn't got the letter yet. "According to him", this is about him being late to classes. Sounds like a minor offense to me in the scheme of things. May not be the whole situation, but what ever it is, it is keeping him from his family. We are upset with him and upset with the system. The next time they will look at his file will be November. I pray that he can hang in there. He is so depressed right now. As someone who loves him, this is really scary.
Hub was over the top depressed yesterday. Between this and the lack of activity on the job market, it is almost too much. He divided his day between crying and being mad, snappy and angry. When all of this is over, I guess it will be my turn to scream. Why is it our job to be there for everyone else. Thanks for being my sounding board.
Oh, and I have been found out. Hub came over here when I was posting on my birthday and I told him to go away and how rude it was to read over someone's shoulder. So of course, he thought I was writing to some mysterious friend things that I would not share with him. And of course, I must be poo-pooing him to my secret friend in the process. He was totally jealous and upset and said that he thought he was my best friend. (See what I live with?) Finally, I had to fess up that I had started doing this thing called blogging, and it was personal like a diary, not intended to be mean, seemingly good for me, not threatening to him, and no he could not read it because I need something just for me. Didn't go over too well until I finally printed out what I had written that day and let him read it. (Glad I wasn't mad at him that day!!! ) He seemed to feel better, but I do wonder how much time he has spent trying to find this in the computer history? He's not a big computer buff, but sometimes he surprises me. Anyway, this certainly took some of the red off of my candy cane and I may have to pull a "Roxanne" some day.
Later.
My son got to make a call last night and we had to be the ones to tell him. He hasn't got the letter yet. "According to him", this is about him being late to classes. Sounds like a minor offense to me in the scheme of things. May not be the whole situation, but what ever it is, it is keeping him from his family. We are upset with him and upset with the system. The next time they will look at his file will be November. I pray that he can hang in there. He is so depressed right now. As someone who loves him, this is really scary.
Hub was over the top depressed yesterday. Between this and the lack of activity on the job market, it is almost too much. He divided his day between crying and being mad, snappy and angry. When all of this is over, I guess it will be my turn to scream. Why is it our job to be there for everyone else. Thanks for being my sounding board.
Oh, and I have been found out. Hub came over here when I was posting on my birthday and I told him to go away and how rude it was to read over someone's shoulder. So of course, he thought I was writing to some mysterious friend things that I would not share with him. And of course, I must be poo-pooing him to my secret friend in the process. He was totally jealous and upset and said that he thought he was my best friend. (See what I live with?) Finally, I had to fess up that I had started doing this thing called blogging, and it was personal like a diary, not intended to be mean, seemingly good for me, not threatening to him, and no he could not read it because I need something just for me. Didn't go over too well until I finally printed out what I had written that day and let him read it. (Glad I wasn't mad at him that day!!! ) He seemed to feel better, but I do wonder how much time he has spent trying to find this in the computer history? He's not a big computer buff, but sometimes he surprises me. Anyway, this certainly took some of the red off of my candy cane and I may have to pull a "Roxanne" some day.
Later.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Happy Birthday to me!!!!
So-o-o-o-o today is my birthday. One of those days where you wonder why am I not all of those things that I thought I would be when I was older. Wise, rich, pampered, successful, or course beautiful, and married to an amazing man and give birth to 2.3 perfect children. Not to sound too whiny, I am close to some of these things. Wise - I was in the National Honor Society in high school, but totally suck at Jeopardy now. Rich - sometimes more comfortable than others. Pampered - depends on who you ask. Successful - it's all relative. I am married to a sometimes amazing man and have two sons and a step-daughter that is seldom here so I guess that makes 2.3 children. Couldn't do the "give birth" part, but two other women could and lovingly put their sons in my arms.
Anyway, I expected all of those things. But at this stage in my life and on this day I didn't expect my sometimes amazing husband to be between jobs and having a hard time finding a new one because he has worked all of his life to get to a good level and then it penalizes you. I didn't expect that out of my 2.3 children that one beautiful little girl would be a totally self-centered adult that would break her father's heart by mostly ignoring him except at her birthday and Christmas and of course there's the big wedding for the short lived marriage. I didn't expect that one of my beautiful boys would become addicted to drugs as a teenager, end up in jail and then prison for an impulsive, stupid decision.
What I have learned is that everyone that I get close enough to really know has to deal with this "life stuff" too. We are not close to losing our home or going into foreclosure like so many people that I hear of. We seem to keep finding a little unexpected funds here and there and I have faith that it will work out for the best. I work with a young, single mother who is fighting breast cancer (with no insurance) and hanging on for her young children. We all are healthy and even still have insurance secured for two more months. My child may be in prison, but it probably saved him from overdosing on drugs. He is still alive. Hopefully, he will be home very soon. He will have his scars, some for the better, but he is coming home in one piece and not from a war. I have another son who has brought us much hope for the future and taught us the joy of baseball. All of these children are loved more than life itself. They are each a gift to my soul. Born in my heart, not my body.
The bottom line to me today is that I am older (big deal), I have a few things going on but much more to be thankful for. I am blessed. I am blessed with the love of a husband who is in the next room right now playing board games with our friend's kindergartner that we are babysitting this morning......and he's enjoying it! I am blessed by the hope of my son returning home very soon a new person. I am blessed with a healthy talented little boy that can hit a baseball out of the park.
So happy birthday to me. Never thought I'd be this old. Thought the same thing at 25! :) Thanks to the ONE who gave me life. Thanks to all the people in my life. Those who will never, ever read this and those who do.
Later.
Anyway, I expected all of those things. But at this stage in my life and on this day I didn't expect my sometimes amazing husband to be between jobs and having a hard time finding a new one because he has worked all of his life to get to a good level and then it penalizes you. I didn't expect that out of my 2.3 children that one beautiful little girl would be a totally self-centered adult that would break her father's heart by mostly ignoring him except at her birthday and Christmas and of course there's the big wedding for the short lived marriage. I didn't expect that one of my beautiful boys would become addicted to drugs as a teenager, end up in jail and then prison for an impulsive, stupid decision.
What I have learned is that everyone that I get close enough to really know has to deal with this "life stuff" too. We are not close to losing our home or going into foreclosure like so many people that I hear of. We seem to keep finding a little unexpected funds here and there and I have faith that it will work out for the best. I work with a young, single mother who is fighting breast cancer (with no insurance) and hanging on for her young children. We all are healthy and even still have insurance secured for two more months. My child may be in prison, but it probably saved him from overdosing on drugs. He is still alive. Hopefully, he will be home very soon. He will have his scars, some for the better, but he is coming home in one piece and not from a war. I have another son who has brought us much hope for the future and taught us the joy of baseball. All of these children are loved more than life itself. They are each a gift to my soul. Born in my heart, not my body.
The bottom line to me today is that I am older (big deal), I have a few things going on but much more to be thankful for. I am blessed. I am blessed with the love of a husband who is in the next room right now playing board games with our friend's kindergartner that we are babysitting this morning......and he's enjoying it! I am blessed by the hope of my son returning home very soon a new person. I am blessed with a healthy talented little boy that can hit a baseball out of the park.
So happy birthday to me. Never thought I'd be this old. Thought the same thing at 25! :) Thanks to the ONE who gave me life. Thanks to all the people in my life. Those who will never, ever read this and those who do.
Later.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Family Guilt
I never really thought that I came from that strange of a family. The older I get I realize that no one has the "normal" family. I guess all of the fruitcakes make it interesting.
My brother and I were talking a couple of weeks ago about the fact that none of us had heard anything about our mother's only sister in a long time. I have to accept most of the guilt factor here as I am the only one of my siblings that lives in the metroplex where she lives. We went to see her 7-8 years ago when we first moved here. It's not that we don't like her. She was wonderful a aunt. I'm even named after her. (Although I hate my first name and it is a total secret.) It is just the child in me that hates it when she cries and gushes every time I walk in a room. She is always so excited to see her namesake. See why I feel heavy guilt!!!! She is in her 80's and we knew that she had been moved to another retirement village but couldn't find out where. She is extremely wealthy and evidently one of her granddaughters tried to take advantage of her so the facilities are tight lipped.
My aunt has had a sheltered, privileged life, yet a lot of tragedy. Her ex-husband was on the forefront of oil exploration in Alaska in the 50's - 60's. Became a multi-millionaire and then (of course) had an affair with his secretary. My aunt had a nervous breakdown when he wanted a divorce. They had 3 children. They were all 16-20 years older than I. (This is where it sound like a TV movie.) Oldest son was smart but always kind of a jerk. Really impressed with Daddy's money and followed him around. (Ever seen J.R. Ewing on the TV show Dallas?) Grew up to be a divorced alcoholic with not very much. The daughter had the brains, business sense and beauty. She won beauty contests, college homecoming queen, modelled for Neiman-Marcus,etc., and as her youngest cousin, I thought she was absolutely amazing. A real-live Barbie doll. I'm sure I was a pest. She ended up marrying 3 times; having one son; starting a computer business at just the right time and making a ton of money. The last time I saw her was at my wedding. She was still beautiful. Then about 5 years later, her then husband murdered her for her money and business. He smothered her, said she died in her sleep and immediately had her cremated. Took two years to prove it and convict him. Turns out he had murdered a previous wife, too. (Told you it sounded like a TV movie.) Her father (my uncle) died the following year of a broken heart. She was always his pride and joy. Then there was the youngest son. Really, really smart, but socially inept. Had to follow in his flamboyant siblings shadow. You know how that goes. When I was a teenager and visit my aunt, he would keep me up all night talking. Nobody ever really paid him a lot of attention, so he took advantage of having a captive audience. He and his wife and baby were at my wedding, too. All my friends asked me later who the man was in the rumpled suit with baby spit up down the back. His wife was said also to be wearing a sheer skirt with no slip. Quite a pair, but I never noticed. I was glad they travelled a long way to my wedding and a little too happy to care anyway.
So why is all of this in my mind tonight? I received an e-mail from my brother and since our conversation about our aunt, he had been looking for info on the internet. He was looking at obits and came across that our cousin (the youngest boy) had died 2-28-08. None of us ever knew. It makes me feel so sad. The obit said nothing about family or anything other than he's gone and buried. So much potential and so much sadness. I really don't know what to make of it. We were family, we were first cousins, yet he goes and nothing is said. A whole family that had so very much yet so little.
Okay, so this post has gone off on a weird journey. If anyone is still reading down this far, I'm sorry. Don't know where to go with this. Just talking out loud and letting a little family guilt out.
Later.
My brother and I were talking a couple of weeks ago about the fact that none of us had heard anything about our mother's only sister in a long time. I have to accept most of the guilt factor here as I am the only one of my siblings that lives in the metroplex where she lives. We went to see her 7-8 years ago when we first moved here. It's not that we don't like her. She was wonderful a aunt. I'm even named after her. (Although I hate my first name and it is a total secret.) It is just the child in me that hates it when she cries and gushes every time I walk in a room. She is always so excited to see her namesake. See why I feel heavy guilt!!!! She is in her 80's and we knew that she had been moved to another retirement village but couldn't find out where. She is extremely wealthy and evidently one of her granddaughters tried to take advantage of her so the facilities are tight lipped.
My aunt has had a sheltered, privileged life, yet a lot of tragedy. Her ex-husband was on the forefront of oil exploration in Alaska in the 50's - 60's. Became a multi-millionaire and then (of course) had an affair with his secretary. My aunt had a nervous breakdown when he wanted a divorce. They had 3 children. They were all 16-20 years older than I. (This is where it sound like a TV movie.) Oldest son was smart but always kind of a jerk. Really impressed with Daddy's money and followed him around. (Ever seen J.R. Ewing on the TV show Dallas?) Grew up to be a divorced alcoholic with not very much. The daughter had the brains, business sense and beauty. She won beauty contests, college homecoming queen, modelled for Neiman-Marcus,etc., and as her youngest cousin, I thought she was absolutely amazing. A real-live Barbie doll. I'm sure I was a pest. She ended up marrying 3 times; having one son; starting a computer business at just the right time and making a ton of money. The last time I saw her was at my wedding. She was still beautiful. Then about 5 years later, her then husband murdered her for her money and business. He smothered her, said she died in her sleep and immediately had her cremated. Took two years to prove it and convict him. Turns out he had murdered a previous wife, too. (Told you it sounded like a TV movie.) Her father (my uncle) died the following year of a broken heart. She was always his pride and joy. Then there was the youngest son. Really, really smart, but socially inept. Had to follow in his flamboyant siblings shadow. You know how that goes. When I was a teenager and visit my aunt, he would keep me up all night talking. Nobody ever really paid him a lot of attention, so he took advantage of having a captive audience. He and his wife and baby were at my wedding, too. All my friends asked me later who the man was in the rumpled suit with baby spit up down the back. His wife was said also to be wearing a sheer skirt with no slip. Quite a pair, but I never noticed. I was glad they travelled a long way to my wedding and a little too happy to care anyway.
So why is all of this in my mind tonight? I received an e-mail from my brother and since our conversation about our aunt, he had been looking for info on the internet. He was looking at obits and came across that our cousin (the youngest boy) had died 2-28-08. None of us ever knew. It makes me feel so sad. The obit said nothing about family or anything other than he's gone and buried. So much potential and so much sadness. I really don't know what to make of it. We were family, we were first cousins, yet he goes and nothing is said. A whole family that had so very much yet so little.
Okay, so this post has gone off on a weird journey. If anyone is still reading down this far, I'm sorry. Don't know where to go with this. Just talking out loud and letting a little family guilt out.
Later.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Ups and Downs
This has been an incredibly up and down day. I went to work today. I do enjoy it most days, it gets me out, dressed decently, around nice people and a little pocket change. It was hitting me a little that Thursday will be my last day until next September. That was the good news and the bad. I'm looking forward to spending more consecutive days on a few projects (hopefully) and I do enjoy summer, but I will miss the people I see there.
Then there that thing about no one having a job in this family. Hub has had more depression lately about the whole situation. He's feeling pretty bad about himself and tired of me finding projects that he "has" to do right now. He's not much of a home improvement project kind of guy although I must say he is getting better. It's hard trying to keep things going in a positive mode. I feel bad because he has really been on my butt the last couple of days about anything and everything and tonight I let him have a little bit back. I was like don't get me started.... Anyway, I know he is just letting off some tension and flexing his male ego feathers, and I have worked at trying to be supportive, but I'm in this thing, too. Maybe I need to try to take it out here and not so much on him. He did get an e-mail from a company today that wanted to schedule an interview that could be interesting. Doesn't sound like it pays quite as much but it is worth looking in to. You wouldn't believe some of the companies that have contacted him. Some people may make a lot and be quite happy with some of these ventures, but I don't think it's for us.
We went to my son's last ballgame of the regular season tonight. They lost, but played a good game and it was fun. He made a home run, a double, and some really cool outs playing first base. It was enough to earn the game ball tonight so he was really proud. He had gotten one when we were in Mexico, so we were surprised that they awarded him another. They try to spread them around to encourage all the kids, but I have to say he did deserve this one. He wanted to go have Mexican food to celebrate, so that's what we did. Big surprise.
Later tonight, a neighbor and good friend called after we had played phone tag all day. We were talking about her MIL who found out a couple of weeks ago that she has a brain tumor. Her surgeon seems very certain that it is not malignant but it is suppose to be between a golf ball to tennis ball in size. Anyway, I have really been worried about her. MIL is having surgery in a week and we were making arrangements for my friend's kids to stay with us. We have gotten close to MIL and FIL, too, and have spent Christmas together and lots of sporting events for the kids. They are wonderful people and I just really hate that they have to go through this. Not only the pain and emotions of brain surgery, but on top of that scars, shaved head, etc. She is an attractive woman and always looks nice and takes care of herself. Anyway, keep her and her family in your prayers. I pray her surgeon is right.
After that my older son called. He is suppose to get out in June, but I know that sometimes it gets stretched out. He is so very homesick as we are for him. He was asking about different details about the house and his old room. Makes me wish we had not changed anything. It seemed like every painted room, etc. made him feel farther away. There will adjustments for all of us to have him back. It's been a hard year.
Well, on that cheerful note.....I need to go to bed. Tomorrow we get to go to Home Depot and find out what floor leveler is all about. After that maybe we can finally get the boys bathroom tiled. Hub has it all in a mess right now with the floor torn out. The cabinets are painted, but we need to put the doors back on and install new hardware. Me and my bright ideas......
Later.
Then there that thing about no one having a job in this family. Hub has had more depression lately about the whole situation. He's feeling pretty bad about himself and tired of me finding projects that he "has" to do right now. He's not much of a home improvement project kind of guy although I must say he is getting better. It's hard trying to keep things going in a positive mode. I feel bad because he has really been on my butt the last couple of days about anything and everything and tonight I let him have a little bit back. I was like don't get me started.... Anyway, I know he is just letting off some tension and flexing his male ego feathers, and I have worked at trying to be supportive, but I'm in this thing, too. Maybe I need to try to take it out here and not so much on him. He did get an e-mail from a company today that wanted to schedule an interview that could be interesting. Doesn't sound like it pays quite as much but it is worth looking in to. You wouldn't believe some of the companies that have contacted him. Some people may make a lot and be quite happy with some of these ventures, but I don't think it's for us.
We went to my son's last ballgame of the regular season tonight. They lost, but played a good game and it was fun. He made a home run, a double, and some really cool outs playing first base. It was enough to earn the game ball tonight so he was really proud. He had gotten one when we were in Mexico, so we were surprised that they awarded him another. They try to spread them around to encourage all the kids, but I have to say he did deserve this one. He wanted to go have Mexican food to celebrate, so that's what we did. Big surprise.
Later tonight, a neighbor and good friend called after we had played phone tag all day. We were talking about her MIL who found out a couple of weeks ago that she has a brain tumor. Her surgeon seems very certain that it is not malignant but it is suppose to be between a golf ball to tennis ball in size. Anyway, I have really been worried about her. MIL is having surgery in a week and we were making arrangements for my friend's kids to stay with us. We have gotten close to MIL and FIL, too, and have spent Christmas together and lots of sporting events for the kids. They are wonderful people and I just really hate that they have to go through this. Not only the pain and emotions of brain surgery, but on top of that scars, shaved head, etc. She is an attractive woman and always looks nice and takes care of herself. Anyway, keep her and her family in your prayers. I pray her surgeon is right.
After that my older son called. He is suppose to get out in June, but I know that sometimes it gets stretched out. He is so very homesick as we are for him. He was asking about different details about the house and his old room. Makes me wish we had not changed anything. It seemed like every painted room, etc. made him feel farther away. There will adjustments for all of us to have him back. It's been a hard year.
Well, on that cheerful note.....I need to go to bed. Tomorrow we get to go to Home Depot and find out what floor leveler is all about. After that maybe we can finally get the boys bathroom tiled. Hub has it all in a mess right now with the floor torn out. The cabinets are painted, but we need to put the doors back on and install new hardware. Me and my bright ideas......
Later.
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